How to stop masturbating


#1

I have masturbated almost everyday since I was 17 and now I am 20. I keep getting all these guilty feelings and just want to stop it. I have never done it to porn but it has always been my imagination. I have had a few times where I tried to stop it but then after 5-6 days at most I just feel like I need to do it again. I really want to stop so I can develop a healthy romantic relationship in the future without having this haunt me.


#2

Maybe there is something in these links that will help you. These links deal with porn - but they may still be beneficial.

Steve Wood - Family Life Center
familylifecenter.net/strugglewithporn.asp

Treating Sexual and Pornographic Addictions
dads.org/article.asp?artId=233

What is Pornography Doing to Fathers and Their Families?
familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artId=234
by Steve Wood
The venom of Internet Pornography is slowly killing the spiritual life of millions of Christian fathers. At every Catholic men's conference I have spoken at over the past four years, I have encountered men addicted to Internet pornography. Men from every region of North America, who attend Mass every Sunday, are silently addicted to pornography.

Screwtape's Strategies and Pornography
familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artId=235
Alias Screwtape
My Dear Wormwood:
For your careful review, I have outlined below our strategies for destroying faith and family life. Destroy this secret message immediately after reading it. This classified material comes from the lowest regions. .... Now as we begin this new millennium, we must use technology to bring our master plan to completion by utilizing Internet pornography. Already we have spiritually neutralized millions of the Enemy's men with pornography....

Steve Wood's book Breaking Free 12 Steps to Sexual Purity for Men
familylifecenterstore.net/breaking-free/

Organizations and Resources dealing with Pornography
familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artId=241

Pure Mind Scripture Computer Program
familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artId=319


#3

Search this program’s website to help you and for accountability.

May you find the graces to escape the traps you have suffered.

from their website: reclaimsexualhealth.com/

RECLAiM Sexual Health offers an anonymous, science-based, Catholic online program, and provides resources for those who desire to reclaim God’s plan for their lives, and the lives of loved ones impacted by pornography or other unhealthy sexual behaviors.

It’s time to RECLAiM God’s original plan for your life!

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Education-Resources/help-for-individuals.html

RECLAiM Online Recovery Program

Get the help you need while keeping your privacy and anonymity.

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Reclaim-Online-Program/features.html

RECLAiM is Online and Available 24/7

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Reclaim-Online-Program/features.html#tracking

Tracking Success & Receiving Feedback:

Your Daily Tracking Calendar -This incredibly valuable tool helps you identify patterns and trends in your daily life, making it easier to consistently progress forward.

Crisis & Setbacks

At times, your cravings and urges to act out your unwanted sexual behaviors can be so strong they’re like a wave crashing over you. This state of mind is called a “crisis.” In the RECLAiM program, you can immediately access your online “Crisis Tools” to get through “the wave.”

There will be situations where you give in to your cravings and experience what we call a “temporary setback.” When this happens, you simply open your “Setback Tools” page and follow the simple steps. Self-flogging, self-loathing and despair are a waste of time. You will learn how to immediately pick yourself up, assess what went wrong, make adjustments and instantly begin progressing forward again.


#4

more from ReClaim website:

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Masturbation/it-s-not-about-using-more-will-power.html

It’s Not About Using More Will Power

Many priests report that sexual sins are the most common heard in the confessional. Often, the same person comes back time and time again to confess the same sexual sin, sincerely resolving to “never do it again”! The traditional approach to conquering masturbation usually involves using sheer willpower—“When the temptation hits me, I just need to fight as hard as I can to not give in!” Many also believe that avoiding the thoughts and urges is the answer—“I’ll just force the temptation out of my mind.”

At best, both of these strategies only bring about temporary relief, and often fail altogether. Fearing, fighting or avoiding the thoughts and urges to masturbate is not the answer. These approaches only make matters worse, cause shame and lead to an even more intense battle to stop.

Success can be found in working with your brain rather than fighting against it. Read these Testimonials from RECLAiM students who discovered how to implement the Brain Science of Change, faith practices, and Theology of the Body to break free from the Masturbation Avoidance Cycle.


#5

You do your best. You go to confession. You check if there's any underlying issues - loneliness, anxiety, or anything else, and get that dealt with.

And you do your best, stumble forward, pray, and confess.

Again and again.:blush:


#6

PRAY TO MARY

A Marian devotion is essential to getting rid of the habit. A priest told me to keep a rosary nearby and just pray Hail Marys until the temptation subsides. Trust me, you’ll sin eventually though. But don’t give up hope! That’s exactly what Satan wants. I’m your age dude, and I struggle with it daily. We get a lot of testosterone flowing at this age. Just keep the faith and you’ll be fine.

try to confess weekly and consume the Eucharist as much as possible. Try to avoid going to Sunday mass in mortal sin (which you most likley are not comitting) God truly understands men our age. It is tough as Hell, but perserverence with a Marian devotion and the Eucharist, you will overcome this addiction.

Praying for you

Pat


#7

pray, go to mass, go to confession. i used ot have this problem too. also could their be any underlying factors. do you if anything you do is causing those feelings that make you want to do it?


#8

Bad news: it is a sin. Good news: You are young and you will get over it, and I know what it is, hellish. You got many good links that can help, and advices, I will tell you what I did, and I am 53, and still struggling with it. I bought the Brown Scapular and promise God I will not do it again, and it did help. For how long I can’t say,and I can not promise you anything, but try that if you think you are up to it. However, if you promise God and then do it anyway you will most likely feel bad, real bad, so think carefully about it before you do anything. God bless you.


#9

[quote="TeamCaptain, post:1, topic:335620"]
I have masturbated almost everyday since I was 17 and now I am 20. I keep getting all these guilty feelings and just want to stop it. I have never done it to porn but it has always been my imagination. I have had a few times where I tried to stop it but then after 5-6 days at most I just feel like I need to do it again. I really want to stop so I can develop a healthy romantic relationship in the future without having this haunt me.

[/quote]

Turn to mother Mary. Her brown scapular can work wonders.


#10

I was thinking hot sauce, but I don't think that will work. :D
I honestly don't know. Good luck on your journey! :thumbsup: :)


#11

[quote="Lasting_faith, post:8, topic:335620"]
Bad news: it is a sin. Good news: You are young and you will get over it, and I know what it is, hellish. You got many good links that can help, and advices, I will tell you what I did, and I am 53, and still struggling with it. I bought the Brown Scapular and promise God I will not do it again, and it did help. For how long I can't say,and I can not promise you anything, but try that if you think you are up to it. However, if you promise God and then do it anyway you will most likely feel bad, real bad, so think carefully about it before you do anything. God bless you.

[/quote]

I am 54. Ditto.........prayer and the sacraments are the best advice. Never despair. Read 2 Corinthians 12:1-10.


#12

Take it to Confession once a week for at least a year, and do your best to put your mind on other things - work, school, family, and other healthy pursuits, while surrounding yourself with people every waking minute.

Be healed in the Confessional, and stay healed by not giving yourself enough spare time by yourself to indulge this habit. Go to bed tired, wake up early, and keep busy with healthy activities.


#13

I have been through the same process you've been. I know EXACTLY what you will need to quit. First off, find your driving point. Why do you want to quit? You have to really want a relationship with God or every time you relapse you will stop caring about quitting. If it weren't for me getting to know more about God between stopping and starting masturbating, I would have stopped trying to quit. Masturbation has some effect that causes you to give up or slack off so it is VITAL. Not to mention the longer you've stopped, that will be something important for staying away after months of not doing it, because it will not leave you alone. It will lessen, but you won't be safe for at least 6 months to a year. That's how long it takes for you to forget or get over tempting experiences you will remember. Second, GO TO CONFESSION. This will be like armor, no joke. My cousin, who couldn't even last a week without doing it, went to confession. He was clean for a month with minimal effort. He started again because he didn't really work on being closer to God or even value the relationship. That goes without saying that you also need to attend church on sundays regularly or you won't have anything reminding you of why you are trying to quit.
Anyways, when you go to confession, you gain God graces, which become like armor against all sin. Go to it as much as is needed if you relapse, because you stand no chance on your own against the Devil. Third, PRAY THE ROSARY. Don't doubt it, and I really stress this. That thing will save your life. If you don't believe me, research its background and the 15 promises Mary made to anyone who prays it. A fatal part of trying to quit masturbation is not being willing to do anything to quit. I tell you that if you pray it at least once a day, every day, that you will be safe. Trust me. I highly suggest the 54 day rosary novena as an extreme route to being cured. Look it up. Fourth, have you ever heard the quote "idle hands are the devils workshop"? Meaning, if you're sitting around watching TV or you're just bored, the devil will tempt you then. Do something, because that is when you are most vulnerable. The devil literally strikes at these moments. I cannot count how many times I have fallen from moments just like that. I always ignored the advice of others that said "oh just make yourself busy when you feel like masturbating." But theres a reason its so common place. Most often you cannot fight off the tempting assaults by just reasoning it away, you have to notice he's at work and busy yourself. Doesn't matter what it is, prayer works, but going outside does too. This other little tidbit is pretty useful too. Just offer up three hail Mary's to Mary three times a day to stop being tempted by the devil to mortally sin. Its pretty potent, despite my skepticism at first. Don't forget to have faith that things will pull through. I've been clean three months... until a few days ago. I let my guard down. Don't give up dude, I'm not.


#14

I would recommend printing out a picture of the Blessed Mother and put it wherever you usually masturbate. That way you will be disinclined to commit that sin with the reminder that she is right there and is always watching. I would also definitely pray the 54 day Irresistible Rosary Novena. Ask for the grace to never masturbate again, or maybe even to never commit mortal sin ever again. Also, try saying the Prayers in honor of the seven sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary each day. There are several promises made by Mary to those who say these prayers everyday. One of the promises is: “I will give them as much as they ask for, as long as it does not oppose the adorable Will of my divine Son or the sanctification fo their souls.”

Here’s the 54 day novena: knightsofdivinemercy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/54_Day_Novena_Rosary.pdf

and here’s the seven sorrows prayers: ourcatholicprayers.com/seven-sorrows-prayers.html

Hope this helps!


#15

I would also highly recommend wearing blessed Rosary beads around your neck because this will deter you from masturbating and will keep demons who are trying to tempt you away form you.


#16

[quote="BookofJames, post:6, topic:335620"]
PRAY TO MARY

A Marian devotion is essential to getting rid of the habit. A priest told me to keep a rosary nearby and just pray Hail Marys until the temptation subsides. Trust me, you'll sin eventually though. But don't give up hope! That's exactly what Satan wants. I'm your age dude, and I struggle with it daily. We get a lot of testosterone flowing at this age. Just keep the faith and you'll be fine.

try to confess weekly and consume the Eucharist as much as possible. Try to avoid going to Sunday mass in mortal sin (which you most likley are not comitting) God truly understands men our age. It is tough as Hell, but perserverence with a Marian devotion and the Eucharist, you will overcome this addiction.

Praying for you

Pat

[/quote]

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:


#17

Pray the Rosary and ask our Blessed Mother to help you by asking her to wrap you in Her Mantle of Holy Purity also ask The Holy Spirit. Try a develop a deep devotion to Our Blessed Mother. The Rosary is the best weapon against satan and him tempting you. I hope this helps. God Bless You.


#18

It may help to read this C.S. Lewis quote regarding "imaginary brides":
For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.

And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.

For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.

Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.

In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”

  • Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3)Courtesy of Matt Fradd's blog.

#19

[quote="triumphguy, post:5, topic:335620"]

And you do your best, stumble forward, pray, and confess.

Again and again.:blush:

[/quote]

It really is important to emphasize that this is not something you should expect to just be able to stop right away through sheer willpower, and you shouldn't be discouraged, even if you fall again and again. It is all too easy to sink into despair and just give up. If one slips and falls, it is tempting to feel too weary to go on, to want to simply lie down in the mud rather than getting up and continuing on a path which seems to have no end. It is here that we must rely on God to lift us back on our feet. No matter how many times you fall, He will always he willing to pick you up again. His mercy cannot be exhausted, and there is no shame in allowing God to help you. Our self-centered nature always wants the proud feeling of accomplishing something all by ourselves, but we must avoid this as just another temptation. Any good works that we accomplish require cooperation with God's grace. Thus, we must not seek to do everything on our own, but recognize our weakness, because it is when we are weak that we can let God be our strength and allow His grace to work in us.

That one's will alone is not enough to succeed does not mean that the will can be ignored, however. One must recognize one's sins for what they are, and resolve to turn away from them and follow God. Once one has fallen, it is an act of the will to seek out God's mercy again in confession. One must will to pray and ask for assistance and strength from God. And to ignore one's will is dangerous, too, because no matter how much one is tempted, sin is always an act of the will. One can pray for God to strengthen and guide one's will, but He will never force you to do anything, and no matter how much support or consolation He gives you, it can always be rejected. The goal is that one's will is conformed to His will, and while this is impossible without God's grace, it is also impossible without your will as well. Your will need not be strong enough on its own to persevere, but you must at least allow God to carry you if you are to make any progress. And always remember that ultimately, while chastity may seem difficult, it is not impossible. Each time that you confess this sin, you must hope and pray and will that this will have been the last time. And though it might not be clear at first, eventually, by the grace of God, it will be the last time.

Now as for more clear and practical advice, here are some observations coming from my own experience of continuing to struggle with this issue myself:

Of course, one must go to Confession, ideally as soon as possible. This can be difficult, of course, but the longer one goes without confession, the easier it can get to sin again. For example, if I would give into my temptations on Tuesday and the earliest I could get to confession was Saturday, as the week went on the temptation to sin again would just increase. The thought would come to mind "Well, I already have to go to confession, so one more sin can't hurt" Thoughts like this, of course, are of the devil (whether or not he's directly instigating them, he certainly would approve), and don't make sense if you think about it, but when left at the subconscious level and coupled with desires one is used to satisfying, they can be insidious. If it is difficult to get to the set confession times or you need to confess sooner, making an appointment or just asking a priest is always a good idea.

It is also helpful to pray, especially some set routine of prayer. Mass as often as possible is always good, and one must develop a great love for the Eucharist. There have been times for me when the only thing keeping me chaste for the day was knowing that if I did give in to temptation, I wouldn't be able to receive the Eucharist at the next Mass. Praying some or all of the Liturgy of the Hours is also good, and devotion to Mary is of course important. One must also rely on the communion of saints. There are many saints who are great models of chastity (I am particularly devoted to St. Joseph and St. Thomas Aquinas) and looking to their example and relying on their prayers can be a great help. This also brings out the point that, while we must pray for help and strength to live chastely, our prayer should not be only for ourselves. One must pray for others, one's family and friends, the souls in purgatory, whoever one encounters throughout the day. Pray not only for yourself to be be able to live in chastity, but pray also for all who struggle with this issue. One thing that I would recommend in regard to this, as well as establishing a routine of daily prayer, is the Confraternity of Angelic Warfare (angelicwarfareconfraternity.org). I have not officially joined yet, but I have found that starting to follow the prayer discipline has already helped.

Finally. when one is tempted, try to distract yourself from it. This can involve prayer, but it also can just mean finding something to do. If possible, one can go for a walk or at least someplace, even just another room, where one isn't alone. Put oneself in a situation where either one is totally focused on something else, or simply cannot give in to you temptation (or, ideally, both of these), and stay that way until the temptation subsides, and for a while after that as well. Now, this of course is not always possible, such as late at night perhaps, but whenever you can it is a good idea. One avoids sin not just by never being tempted, but by resisting temptation, however one is able to start doing this, one must be able at least to start resisting more and more in order to gradually break the addiction.
Anyways, I hope this helps someone (just writing all this has already helped me, this is something I really never talk about outside the confessional and it just feels good to be open about it)


#20

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