How to support a friend through discernment


Hi everyone

I live and work at a retreat centre for young people and live in community with the team. One of the team members has been discerning her vocation to the religious life. She has a spiritual director, and has had some long discussions with our chaplain. I also admire the strength of her faith. Before Christmas, she attended a vocations group and is now talking about "when I make my first vows" as opposed to "if".

I think she is hoping to visit some communities to discover more about their way of life. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice about how to support her in this time and whether there is anything you would suggest she does?



being available to just listen is tremendous, I am a guy discerning the priesthood as well, an i barely have anyone that wants to listen, let alone the time to listen to me.

If all you can offer is just being there to listen when she needs to talk, does wonders. especially if ya keep an open mind and can maybe reflect some things she is saying but not really seeing.

just a thought.



and of course, discussing the process together!!


I agree with John. You are already doing exactly what she needs and that is being a good listener and a good friend. When I was discerning my best friend was very good to me as well and I cannot tell you how grateful I continue to be for that relationship. It's been a gift for me to see her get married and have children in the same way I know it has been a joy for her to be at my reception and profession.

Keep being such a good friend!


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