"How to Talk to a Friend Who's Had an Abortion." Some advice


see http://www.usccb.org/about/pro-life-activities/respect-life-program/2014/how-to-talk-to-a-friend-whos-had-an-abortion.cfm

One night my best friend in high school called me, totally in tears… She told me she got pregnant her first semester at State and let her boyfriend talk her into an abortion… The boyfriend broke up with her months ago because she “wasn’t fun to be around anymore.” What could I say? I had no clue how to deal with this.


Is she upset over the breakup or the abortion?

If its the abortion and if she’s Catholic I’d suggest Project Rachel/Rachel’s Vineyard.

Probably not a good time to tell her that a guy who will leave her if she doesn’t have an abortion cannot be relied on. Hopefully she’s worked that one out herself.


There are ways to avoid the mistake Andie made. Ways that may help your friend be hopeful again about her future.



Any man that pushes a woman into an abortion is no man at all. What a coward.


Empathy and listen. No judgement.


They have variety so that’s really good.


wel, seems like she had the abortion and he left her anyways because she felt bad about what she did


Also if Catholic she needs to go to Confession and talk to a Priest.


It’s how I’m reading it but want to make sure it’s correct.

Indeed, how could I have forgotten that.


It seems to me that the break up would have happened whether or not there was even a pregnancy let alone an abortion to go with it. Yes killing “babies” is bad, and it’s completely understandable that the woman in question would be feeling terrible but is growing up with a struggling mother that had to drop out of university, no father around, possibly grandparents that have disowned you and you mom, really a better alternative?! Or there’s adoption, which I do 100% back, I my daughter is my daughter because of adoption. And I wouldn’t change a thing.


Yes. It is a better alternative. For one, life can always improve. Grandparents and parents can come around and help raise the child or at least support the mother in her choice to have the baby.

A woman can find a husband who will improve her and her child’s life. University doesn’t guarantee a person a job. Some of the best jobs do not require a degree.


Women who regret their abortions are so stigmatized in our culture. :frowning: It’s like we’re not “allowed” to regret it lest we undermine the almighty pro-choice Cause.


To be clear, this isn’t a real situation in the OP’s life. It’s a blurb from the article linked in the first post.


She lost a baby. Don’t worry if you do the right or wrong thing. Just be sincere.

She should not need medical care at this point. She needs permission to grieve her loss. Encourage confession if she seems to that point.

She may get back with the guy so don’t go overboard against him.

Make sure all your conversations aren’t only about this.


Oh I didn’t realize.


She actually had her baby murdered. I would try to be polite about it if she was repentant but that is the truth.

He’s a jerk and she’s an idiot if she does.


She may be the murderer but she is also mother of the victim. Drop the stones.

If she doesn’t grieve it will be tissue and she will feel freer to abort again. Christ came to free us from sin, not to encourage humans to make sinners indefinitely miserable. Have you heard of mercy and forgiveness?

And it was not a real case, but an article.


I have more sense than to say it to her directly. I would point her in the direction of post abortive ministries. I don’t think acting as if the baby had died of natural causes or had been killed by somebody else is appropriate though. Part of coming to terms with it will imo be acknowledging that she did kill an innocent baby.


You’ve assumed a lot about the quality of this child’s life here, based on very little information which doesn’t reveal the future.

Even if you were correct about the future, though, yes… living is a better alternative to being murdered in the womb.


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