How to talk with an ex-Catholic?


#1

My husband and I have been life-long committed evangelicals, but now we’ve done the research and been convinced that the Roman Catholic Church is the place to be. We’re currently looking for an orthodox parish in our area so we can start the joining process.

We’re meeting weekly with a couple from our previous church so they can convince us to change our minds (at least that is what they think). We hope they will look into the claims of the Church and discover the truth.

The wife was actually raised Catholic, but says she never met Jesus, only saints and Mary, so she left the church in her teens. She met Jesus in an evangelical church, and I can tell you she really does love Jesus. But it’s been hard to talk with her, since she tends to be very emotional about things, instead of rational.

Does anyone have any tips on how to converse with her? They are meeting with us because they love us, and we look at this as a great opportunity to help them see the truth.

Thanks!
Janelle


#2

[quote=janelle]My husband and I have been life-long committed evangelicals, but now we’ve done the research and been convinced that the Roman Catholic Church is the place to be. We’re currently looking for an orthodox parish in our area so we can start the joining process.

We’re meeting weekly with a couple from our previous church so they can convince us to change our minds (at least that is what they think). We hope they will look into the claims of the Church and discover the truth.

The wife was actually raised Catholic, but says she never met Jesus, only saints and Mary, so she left the church in her teens. She met Jesus in an evangelical church, and I can tell you she really does love Jesus. But it’s been hard to talk with her, since she tends to be very emotional about things, instead of rational.

Does anyone have any tips on how to converse with her? They are meeting with us because they love us, and we look at this as a great opportunity to help them see the truth.

Thanks!
Janelle
[/quote]

I was raised Catholic and I met Jesus in the Catholic Church and I’m not the only one. There are many of us. After you join a parish, I would invite them to Mass. If she hasn’t been in a long time, maybe going again will stir in her a longing for the Catholic family.


#3

[quote=janelle]My husband and I have been life-long committed evangelicals, but now we’ve done the research and been convinced that the Roman Catholic Church is the place to be. We’re currently looking for an orthodox parish in our area so we can start the joining process.

We’re meeting weekly with a couple from our previous church so they can convince us to change our minds (at least that is what they think). We hope they will look into the claims of the Church and discover the truth.

The wife was actually raised Catholic, but says she never met Jesus, only saints and Mary, so she left the church in her teens. She met Jesus in an evangelical church, and I can tell you she really does love Jesus. But it’s been hard to talk with her, since she tends to be very emotional about things, instead of rational.

Does anyone have any tips on how to converse with her? They are meeting with us because they love us, and we look at this as a great opportunity to help them see the truth.

Thanks!
Janelle
[/quote]

You could show them Jesus in the liturgy. Show them how Christ is the center of the Mass, which is the center of Christian life for Catholics. The Mass is the heavenly worship of God and His Lamb. Take a look at the book of Revelation and the beginning of Isaiah6.

All honor of the saints is in reference and due to Christ. We honor saints and Mary because they have loved God with their whole lives, many of whom died for Christ. All our honor given to them is in reference to the degree that they were a temple for God. They are honored by us because God has honored them.

Explain to her how God( this includes Christ) is the center of it all.


#4

Many times it is very important with people who have an emotional reaction to the Church to address that first, since many times no matter how much sense you make it doesn’t make any difference.

It takes prayer and example and a mindset of God doing the work not us first off. Now let me give you a similar example…

I came back to the Catholic Church from an evangelical Church about 9 or so months ago. We had a missionary come over to “save” me (which he mentioned to a friend of mine, “we have to save that brother”) No matter how much sense I made he wouldn’t listen and would just change the subject to another objection. He was convinced that the Church was bad. I finally got him to give me a little bit of his background and it turns out that he once wanted to be a priest, but wanted to be married also. It bothered him that he couldn’t pastor and be married. (he didn’t seem to care about being a deacon)

Now I am going to start talking to him about apologists and showing him how deacons and apologists are involved in the Church as married people. In addition I will try and get him to see that marriage is a vocation which we are called to.

It is very important to get past the emotional blockages even at the same time you answer the other objections to the faith. Maybe show how Catholics do love Jesus, the Mass is about worshipping Him. Don’t blame the Church for some lousy teachers, or lax teaching in the past and look for the actual teaching of the Church. It is a Church full of sinners and we all are in this together.

Ask her how many times is Jesus named in the Mass compared to Mary? Would she follow Jesus anywhere even to the Catholic Church, if He asked her specifically? We imitate Jesus by taking Mary as our Mother. If she left the Church in her teens she probably has a teenage understanding of the Church.

There are many things to think about, I would recomment Patrick Madrid’s Search and Rescue program on EWTN or his book.

In Christ,
Scylla

God Bless
Scylla


#5

It seems to me that this gal was both poorly catechized and has some personal issue with the Church or someone in the Church.

People often claim they knew nothing about Jesus in the Catholic Church, but they probably paid little attention to what they were taught or they never made the connections between the Eucharist and their relationship with Jesus.

If her problem is mostly emotional you will not be able to reason with her about it. You would have to get her to tell you what happened and she may not want to share that with you. All you can do is assure your friends that not only have you found Jesus in the Catholic Church, you have found him is the most profound way possible. This must be the case or you wouldn’t be entering the Church, would you? :wink:

And pray for your friends, of course. Let them know that you value your friendship and all that your received from your former denomination. Let them know that you are building upon that formation not negating it. That might help them accept why you are becoming Catholic a bit better.


#6

I am not sure what you would say to them. Actually, as a Catholic I knew Jesus first and am only now really getting to understand Mary’s place in the church. It is to bad that your friend and I had such different experiences. Hopefully, she will come to realize how much more she will know Jesus in his church. To me it is knowing the fullness of Jesus and not the Jesus I think he should be.

You might want to look at attending St. Timothy’s, I believe it is close to Mesa. Them seem to have a lot of programs and a very vital youth and adult education program.


#7

And if all that fails, follow this simple method:

  1. Find brick wall.

  2. Stand facing brick wall, about 6-8 inches away.

  3. Lean forward quickly, until head comes into abrupt contact with wall.

  4. Repeat as necessary.

  5. Pray.
    Steps 1-4 are optional.


#8

Oh and one more thing…

Welcome to the Forum! You can check our www.chnetwork.org
for more info on coming home to the Catholic Church. You should ask about RCIA as that is the standard way people come into the Church

God Bless
Scylla


#9

[quote=janelle]My husband and I have been life-long committed evangelicals, but now we’ve done the research and been convinced that the Roman Catholic Church is the place to be. We’re currently looking for an orthodox parish in our area so we can start the joining process.

We’re meeting weekly with a couple from our previous church so they can convince us to change our minds (at least that is what they think). We hope they will look into the claims of the Church and discover the truth.

The wife was actually raised Catholic, but says she never met Jesus, only saints and Mary, so she left the church in her teens. She met Jesus in an evangelical church, and I can tell you she really does love Jesus. But it’s been hard to talk with her, since she tends to be very emotional about things, instead of rational.

Does anyone have any tips on how to converse with her? They are meeting with us because they love us, and we look at this as a great opportunity to help them see the truth.

Thanks!
Janelle
[/quote]

Rather than start from the perspective of “proving” the Catholic Church to them, why not “turn the table” on them by acknowledging their concern but saying you dont fully understanding it? I don’t mean in a dishonest manner, but simply address their issues regarding your conversion as the starting point of the discussion. Exactly what concern is it they have? Concern regarding your salvation? After all, if you continue to believe that Jesus is Lord and that God raised him from the dead, does it matter where you worship from an evangelical perspective? The discussion will naturally shift to their views. Get them to do the talking about the “problem” as they see it, and once they have exposed their views you can then share the truth about the Catholic faith as it relates to their concerns.
Tactical hint: do NOT start with Mary! They will want to, but you need not. Authority is the central issue. History is the clincher. Scripture is history and tradition and authority.

Phil


#10

Janelle:

I’d go the complete opposite. Don’t say anything to them “apologetic” wise. Be the good friends that you are,enjoy their company and pray for them. Let them ask the questions and answer them with much charity and clarity should they bring it up. Apostolate is genuine friendship. Then as you go along RCIA share your experiences lightly with them.

This is my take because I’ve had my share of the good ol’ shock and awe method which never worked at any point in my life. I’m learning to hold myself from overkilling it.

May God make your journies peaceful and joyful. Keep us posted on your RCIA and eventual reception.

in XT.


#11

I vote for prayer. Beginning a chat with a prayer for peace and concord might open doors that might have remained closed.

I am always amazed at the lapsed Catholics who sat in the pews for years and didn’t hear the Word and the love of Jesus spoken to them every week. Just today I was able to give a young woman a copy of “Pillar of Fire Pllar of Truth”. Raised in a mixed faith home, she is confused and, while she hasn’t practiced the faith in many years, she was glad to have the facts. I believe God will call to all, but not all will choose to listen and respond.


#12

[quote=AquinasXVI]Janelle:

I’d go the complete opposite. Don’t say anything to them “apologetic” wise. Be the good friends that you are,enjoy their company and pray for them. Let them ask the questions and answer them with much charity and clarity should they bring it up. Apostolate is genuine friendship. Then as you go along RCIA share your experiences lightly with them.

This is my take because I’ve had my share of the good ol’ shock and awe method which never worked at any point in my life. I’m learning to hold myself from overkilling it.

May God make your journies peaceful and joyful. Keep us posted on your RCIA and eventual reception.

XT.
[/quote]

I agree , and that’s how I’m handling it with a co-worker. Just being a friend and answering her question’s and asking questions to her in a very non pushy manner. I can see her heart soften as time goes on. I’m letting the Holy Spirit do all the work, I’m just there.


#13

with emotion, since that seems to be the “language” she converses in!

However, not the emotion of arguement, nor the emotion of battle, or the emotion of one upsmanship, or the one of needing to be right.

Rather, the emotion of love; love of God, love of all He has revealed to us, love of His Sacraments and how deeply they touch you and move you. the emotion of awe; of rightness of doctrine; of closeness to Jesus. Tell her how the Church has brought you closer to Christ, how it has deepend your love of God, of Christ, of Worship.
Since you are not yet joined, you can’t tell her how Communion moves you as you participate, but you can tell her of the hunger you have to do so.

She isn’t one who will be moved by logic, by neatly fit doctrine, by the implacable command of Scripture properly understood as it so grandly shows the Church He created.

But she may be moved by what you have experienced.


#14

[quote=Pentecost2005]And if all that fails, follow this simple method:

  1. Find brick wall.

  2. Stand facing brick wall, about 6-8 inches away.

  3. Lean forward quickly, until head comes into abrupt contact with wall.

  4. Repeat as necessary.

  5. Pray.
    Steps 1-4 are optional.
    [/quote]

Ya mean like this?
:gopray2:

Tonks40 :slight_smile:

I’d probably more likely be doing this: :banghead:


#15

I left as a teenager too and it took me 34 years to come home, but the fact is that when I began to really look into what the church teaches and discovered the truth, I was really kinda angry at all the years of being fed stuff that was proof texted by the Bible and yet isn’t based on the Word of God. In the end I find that I was following the teachings of men and they fall very far short of what the early Christians taught and believed.

The Eucharist is the most glaring difference and the place where I feel that they just seemed to ignore or rationalize away what the Eucharistic passages said.
Have a look at The Eucharist IS Scriptural


#16

You nailed it! :thumbsup:
I find many Catholic who leave are rebelling against authority.
They will say “What right does church have to say no birth control, no divorce…etc”

In addition to Scriptures there are the writing of the early church fathers to give a historical view.

When you read it you realize they were catholics.

Beebs


#17

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