How would you feel if your daughter wanted to be a nun?


#1

Honestly - I have to admit I’d have some very mixed feelings, and probably quite a bit of sadness (for myself and my family) if one of my daughters told me she wanted to become a cloistered nun. I’ve often thought about how I’d “deal” with it if one of my children told me they wanted to become a religious. It’s just not the dream I have for my kids, and it might be hard for me to let that dream go. How would you feel?


#2

I would be supportive of her, be happy for her.

But I only have one daughter, so I might miss helping her and guiding her in a similar path I took, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood.

But all in all it wouldn’t be up to me, it would be up to God.


#3

I would be proud and happy for her; she would be giving her whole life to God, but sad in that we wouldn't be able to be a part of her everyday life.


#4

Previous two posters summed up my thoughts exactly... :thumbsup:


#5

I pray every day for an increase in vocations, and that God would place His finger on the heart of my own children, and that they would be open to His will.


#6

[quote="BcuzISaidSo, post:5, topic:244314"]
I pray every day for an increase in vocations, and that God would place His finger on the heart of my own children, and that they would be open to His will.

[/quote]

Yes, I do this as well. But I also pray for their spouses if they are called to the vocation of marriage.


#7

I think that many people have the idea that being a "nun" means the woman is hold up in some cell in the apls.

I think it's quite different. I have a good friend who's a nun. She gets three weeks of vacation a year...two in summer, and one post-christmas and she gets to visit her family. She also gets two weeks at the convent a year to have a guest...her mom or a niece or sister (usually not a male) to celebrate Easter and again for another week.

So it's not like it used to be. She gets to see her family, honestly, just as much or more than I get to see mine, depending on their availabilty. I have only 2 weeks of vacation a year and becuase of work I only get to spend half that with my family. they, becuase of work, only get to visit me for a weekend or two. So while it's counter-cultural, you may see more of eachother than even a priest would get to see his family.


#8

[quote="purplesunshine, post:7, topic:244314"]
I think that many people have the idea that being a "nun" means the woman is hold up in some cell in the apls.

I think it's quite different. I have a good friend who's a nun. She gets three weeks of vacation a year...two in summer, and one post-christmas and she gets to visit her family. She also gets two weeks at the convent a year to have a guest...her mom or a niece or sister (usually not a male) to celebrate Easter and again for another week.

So it's not like it used to be. She gets to see her family, honestly, just as much or more than I get to see mine, depending on their availabilty. I have only 2 weeks of vacation a year and becuase of work I only get to spend half that with my family. they, becuase of work, only get to visit me for a weekend or two. So while it's counter-cultural, you may see more of eachother than even a priest would get to see his family.

[/quote]

I think it depends on where they go and the type of order, but I don't know much about it. I know our priest gets to spend a lot of time with his parents as they live only an hour from him. He goes to see them every week on his day off.


#9

[quote="happymommy, post:8, topic:244314"]
I think it depends on where they go and the type of order, but I don't know much about it. I know our priest gets to spend a lot of time with his parents as they live only an hour from him. He goes to see them every week on his day off.

[/quote]

Very true. Many nuns do not necessarily even live in communities. Some orders basically send the sisters out to get jobs in parishes, schools, dioceses, etc. and they can more or less live on their own (depending upon how many other sisters from their order are stationed in the same spot). I knew one such nun who lived not far from her mother and would visit her all the time -- far more often than I get to visit with my family, who live much further away.


#10

[quote="BcuzISaidSo, post:5, topic:244314"]
I pray every day for an increase in vocations, and that God would place His finger on the heart of my own children, and that they would be open to His will.

[/quote]

Same here. I would be so happy and proud if she chose that path.


#11

[quote="happymommy, post:8, topic:244314"]
I think it depends on where they go and the type of order, but I don't know much about it. I know our priest gets to spend a lot of time with his parents as they live only an hour from him. He goes to see them every week on his day off.

[/quote]

Point being, people seem to act as if a child joining a religious order is a death sentence or a life of broken contect. It, infact, can mean better contact.


#12

I have one daughter after having 4 boys so she's the baby. I would be overjoyed and would praise God if this was her calling! I pray that my last 2 would have the Calling, but alas, I don't think this will happen :(


#13

i would be in total shock.


#14

[quote="happymommy, post:3, topic:244314"]
I would be proud and happy for her; she would be giving her whole life to God, but sad in that we wouldn't be able to be a part of her everyday life.

[/quote]

I voted mostly happy, but I think I should have voted bittersweet. I do not have children of my own but while I would be very proud, I believe I would miss them.


#15

[quote="purplesunshine, post:11, topic:244314"]
Point being, people seem to act as if a child joining a religious order is a death sentence or a life of broken contect. It, infact, can mean better contact.

[/quote]

I wouldn't think of it like that at all, I'm sure some do, but we wouldn't. As I said before, I don't have much knowledge of the different orders and I'm sure that the contact between family can differ from one to the other. Also, if they are called to serve in another country that would also limit contact to some degree, but that's the case for other careers as well.


#16

My oldest daughter has been really interested in the Dominicans, but she's still very young. She's also contemplating a consecrated single vocation with Opus Dei. With one, I'd see her a bit more. I would miss her terribly if she chose the Dominicans, but since she's 15 I'm not going to worry about it. We have a long way to go. :) I really didn't know how to answer...extremely proud, and a bit sad I suppose. Isn't that why mothers cry when their "babies" go to college, get married, etc. They know their children are leaving a bit of the past behind and going forward with a new life.


#17

[quote="purplesunshine, post:11, topic:244314"]
Point being, people seem to act as if a child joining a religious order is a death sentence or a life of broken contect. It, infact, can mean better contact.

[/quote]

It depends on the order.

A dear family I know their daughter joined a certain Dominican order. She moved several states away and the first two years there she was very cloistered. No phone calls, only two visits in-person and only for a few hours. They were happy of course but it was a difficult adjustment, especially for some of her siblings.

I am not trying to discourage vocations by any means, but being knowledgeable about the possibilities is important. If God called one of my children to an order I would hope that he gave me the Grace necessary to be supportive!


#18

Yes, it depends on the order but generally true "nuns" (notsisters) are cloistered with extremely limited contact. Some abbeys/convents are more limiting than others. A few offer a life wherein the woman is all but dead to her family - she might not even be permitted to come home for her own mother's funeral. Sisters often work in the community and have more liberal leave rules. Diocesan priests are often free totake vacations like any other working person. For the sakr of this question, I was talking about a cloistered community.


#19

One of my friends is a cloistered nun, or at least on her way to becoming one. She was actually fighting it for awhile and had a pretty worldly (not ungodly, just worldly) life. She had a degree in government and business, traveled extensively, and had a good job. She thought she would be a sister but realized she was called to cloister. From what I know (they have a blog), she's pretty happy there and is living her vocation.

Plus, I know she's always praying for all of us. And she does work for their business, so they are giving a bit of themselves to the outside world (via homemade soaps and candles). Their vocation, however, is prayer and that's what she's devoting her life to.


#20

I don’t have a daughter (I’m not even married), but I do have a little sister that at times I almost feel like I’m another parent to. If she were to become a nun, I would be very happy! It would be slightly sad knowing that I wouldn’t see her as often, but such a great opportunity to sacrifice her for the greater good!


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