How would you handle this?

Hi. I always learn so much here and respect all of your opinions so I thought I’d throw this out to everyone…

My husband is going through the RCIA program at our parish and I was completely appauled at the last meeting. I am his sponsor and attend all the meetings with him. At the last meeting, a team member was assigned to teach the topic of sex and marriage and the Church. He started out ok…but then he started talking about his own personal life (he is not married, but has a girlfriend.) He admitted that he engages in pre-martial sex and depending on what priest you talk too…some say it’s ok as long as you love the person and intend to marry them.:eek: Then he went on to say he feels that a woman should be able to get an abortion if she knew the baby would be “retarded” or “missing an arm”:eek: :eek: If that wasn’t bad enough the moderator of the RCIA basically was agreeing with him saying she is liberal and feels conservative priests cause complete emotion demise of people having issues with artificial birth control!!! I confronted her right away (trying to be charitable…but speaking the truth of the Church law) I said the Church allows you to post pone a pregnancy for a legitmate reason by using natural family planning. I told her my husband and I have taken the course given by our diocese and it works when used properly. I happen to be 8 months pregnant right now…so she points at me in front of everyone and laughs and says…“yeah, NFP works so great!”…basically mocking me because I’m pregnant with my 4th child. I shot back and said that I am pregnant because I WASN’T using NFP because we ACTUALLY WANT a big family! I explained that when I was recovering from surgery a few years back…we used NFP and it does work. I wish this was all…but then the Catechumens get hit with this one…"My God is a merciful God and would never send anyone to hell with mortal sin because they didn’t get to confession!:confused: A team member made the comment and the moderator basically agreed and said went along with the comment.

My whole night was ruined because I feel that these people coming into the Catholic faith were advised by team members and the leader of RCIA that birth control is a rule of Church that you can use your own discretion on…that pre-martial sex is fine…that abortion should be fine in certain situations and mortal sin is “no big deal” :frowning:

My husband was annoyed at the whole thing and knew they were wrong in what they were saying…but what about the other canindates?? What should I do? I know I am not an expert, but I know this is NOT the teaching of the Chruch and my conscience is killing me. Do I tell our parish priest?..or will that look like I’m judging other people or coming across that I’m sinless? I just feel sick over this.

There was another time when they were discussing that Mary could have had other children!?! Not the candidates…the RCIA moderator!!

I feel like the Chruch is being attacked from the inside and when we start picking and choosing which rules we want to follow…we are surely leading ourselves to spiritual ruin.

The moderator is extremely WELL versed in scripture and the Cathechism…she just feels it is ok to have your own view and it seems like a cafeteria Catholicism class.

Sorry so long!! Any suggestions would help me in what I should do. Thanks and God Bless you all!

Blessed Virgin Mary…pray for us!

Arrange for a private meeting with you, your husband, the RCIA moderator and your parish pastor at once.

This is imperative. All must be present so that everyone is able to agree as to what was said and taught.

Then let your pastor deal with it.

You MUST go to your parish pastor and report these remarks made in RCIA. NO ONE is at liberty to reject Church teachings and then pass them on as valid opinions. This must stop and we need people like you to do this at whatever cost. Many innocent souls are at stake here and will be led astray.

This is an abomination and those people should no longer serve in ministry. You can print this, give it to them, PM me and I will give you my email address and tell them myself. Definitely tell your priest and if he seems aloof then go to the bishop. This MUST stop…God bless and keep up the good fight…teachccd :eek:

As someone who is on the RCIA team at my parish, and specifically teaches our class on marriage, I share your upset feelings. I would suggest a meeting with the pastor as well. If you get no help there, then take it to the Bishop or Vicar General of your diocese.

Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, for you know that we who teach shall be judged with greater strictness. (James (RSV) 3:1)

Perhaps you should share this scripture with your RCIA teacher as well.

You must speak up. To remain silent about this and to continue to go to class as though nothing is wrong seems almost sinful. We need more folks to come forward when they hear things being taught that aren’t according to the TRUE teachings of the Church. Good luck and God bless you!!

P.S. Tell the class to tune into EWTN for the REAL truth! :wink:


Lousy catechesis is worse than no catechesis at all. I agree with the above posts. There is no controversy within the Church on these issues. The teaching of these people is in serious error. Take your disagreement on these fundamental issues, as charitably as possible, up the ladder as high as you need to go.

Lousy catechesis is still widespread in the Church. Tonight, my 8th grade daughter had to argue with her CCD teacher over his view that supporting a pro-abortion political candidate over a pro-life one was OK. The students know more than the teachers, in many cases.


Definately tell your Pastor!!!

And if the Pastor won’t listen… contact your Bishop. This is really scary.:frowning:

Dear Lord! That is terrible Devine!!! The other have advised you wisely, I just wanted to add that I will pray for your cause. To purposely mislead others to sin is one of the greatest sins a person can commit!

:mad: hi devinemercy i would be hopping mad if i were you. the first person to speak to is the preist that being not enough go to the bishop if that be not enough go to the cardinal.even if you have to go to the pope.the RCIA moderater should be replaced period.maybe you should even replace this person,it is a tough job but you are spending the time to go with your husband,that should help with the time issue.when my wife was in RCIA it really helped me to grow in the faith and in my relationship with her.

As someone who has ‘taught’ RCIA, I have to agree with the other posters (and it seems everyone is of one accord). If your pastor doesn’t know this is being taught, he should. And if he doesn’t care, then the bishop in your diocese should.

One has a right to dissent from church teaching according to one’s conscience. However, no one has a right to teach or preach dissent, especially someone who is a representative of the church which is what RCIA team members and instructors are.

As a catholic, you have an obligation to bring the situation to someone in authority. AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR CHOICES RESPECTED, NOT MOCKED BY SOMEONE WITH A MESSIAH COMPLEX.

Good luck

:eek: Oh my gosh–this is awful. It makes me angry to read this:mad: --sounds similiar to a lay teacher a few years ago who taught our son (in a Confirmation prep class) that not going to mass on Sundays is not a mortal sin–no matter one’s excuse–and one does not ‘need’ to go to Confession to be forgiven of mortal sin. I called immediately, the head nun who ran the program, and said this is not acceptable. So–I’d do the same – if I were you and your husband…If you get nowhere, call the Bishop of your Diocese. It’s a shame that this is happening more and more in our local parishes.:frowning:

Thank you, dear friends in Christ…for all your responses. I have a call into the parish priest. I am prayerful he will help get things back in the right direction. I’m sure I will feel much better when I let him know. I guess if things don’t go well…I’ll be back here looking for more moral support! Again, thank you all and God Bless you!! :slight_smile:

This is a matthew 18:15-18 situation, speak with your preist or pastor.

If you trust your priest, go and talk with him. Sometimes priests trust the people who run these ministries too much and often may not know the harm that these individuals are causing. I helped out in a RCIA one year - and to tell you the truth, I don’t think that the priest had any idea of what the acceptance or understanding of what the Church taught was in the group; it was kind of sad.

Please keep us updated!

Why do these people want to be Catholic?

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