Kayla, I understand how you feel. My husband and I have four kids and I would dearly love to have at least as many more. As a matter of fact, I told him before we got married that I wanted a dozen. He told me that he wanted to finish having kids by the time he turned thirty, so he could enjoy them while he was young and then enjoy doing things with me after they moved out. Well, it turns out that it is very hard to have twelve kids in five years. ;)
I know now that with each successive pregnancy, my husband worried more and more about providing for us. He has always taken his role as breadwinner very seriously. He has always been aware that more people means more expense. He was, frankly, frightened of what would happen to our family if we had "too many" children and took action to see that we wouldn't.
In the years since, I have often felt the urge, the desire, the compulsion to hold a baby of my own and feed him and rock him and hold him. I spend at least a solid month every year or two wishing and praying for a miracle to add to our family. I peruse adoption websites and medical websites looking for a "solution" to my wishes.
There are times when my husband expresses regret over not being able to have any more children or the willingness to adopt. However, I know him well enough to know that these feelings will probably not result in action. Instead, I spend my time in prayer asking God to align both our desires with His divine will. I know that no matter what I want, it is God's will that is most important. I have (almost) stopped asking for babies and started asking for guidance. I pray that God will teach me more each day how to love my husband the way he deserves to be loved, the way God loves him.
You want advice, so I advise you to pray. Do not nag your husband so much that he will make a choice now that he will regret later. Give your desire to God and let Him use it to bring you and your husband closer to Him, because as you both draw closer to Him, you will inevitably draw closer to each other.
Hugs and prayers from someone who has been (and sometimes still is) where you are now.:hug1: