Huge step backwards


All of the sudden I took a huge step backwards. I am in a panic over it all.

Many years ago I got into financial trouble and defaulted on a credit card for somewhere between $300-$400, or so they said, I disputed extra interest and late fees because I disputed when the payments were made. Well, this happened almost six years ago. I have been trying to settle it for 2 years. I followed credit advice and asked for a statement of what payments were made and when because the collection agency was asking for 3 times the amount owed. They never responded. They just kept demanding the full amount and then sued. I looked into the matter and found that it was past the legal time frame for collections. So I finally hired a lawyer and asked to be defended on the basis of the statue of limitations and asked for their evidence they never provided. He never forced the other side to provide the evidence, and instead had me make a statement that I believed it was paid as I should have paid it. That is true, but I cannot prove it, and I told him that. I told him I could not prove when they received the payments and I no longer had records. Now, instead of defending me according to my legal defense of this debt being too old to collect the lawyer is telling me to turn over my bank records to the other side. I told him that doesn’t make any sense, it will prove their case not mine. He said I am not going to argue that the debt is too old to be legally collected.

So, I am panicked because I am a liar and a debtor now and even though I have a legal defense the person I paid to defend me is not doing it. On the one hand, I know they claimed I owed more than I did, on the other hand, I feel it I am in a very un-Christian position and I am very ashamed.

But the real problem is even worset. The real problem is that I broke a vow to God. I had a habit a few months ago of smoking cigarettes occassionally, not as a heavy smoker, and I vowed to God I would not any more, and instead rely on faith. I broke that vow tonight out of extreme stress and I failed to have faith. I feel horrible.

What is even worse is that I started a special novena to St. Thomas More 2 days ago, and I think, maybe this is punishment for being a debtor.


My friend in Christ.

I am in the same boat, I started a business and failed. I am in credit card debt in the sum of 50,000 dollars. I felt bad I cried felt like a dirt bag and thought i was the scum of the earth. I defaulted lost my 780 beacon score and now can’t get arrested,. When we go to confession, we make a vow to turn away from sin and repent. do you think for one minute that you are the only one that took a huge back step?? God’s love is much more that that. He knows we are human and we fail. That just shows us his deep passion his dying on that cross,he knows we need salvation. He is there always and wants us home. A cigarette or two in desperation is not the end of the world. But breaking a vow is to us. That means your heart is on FIRE for Christ. The most beautiful thing in this situation is your sadness for breaking that vow, means you know he is there and your love for him is there I can see it. as he can too in a much more complete way than us humans can. Do yourself a favor. Talk to Mary ask her to pray for you and ask Jesus to forgive you and be with you. and someday when you can afford it. Give the 300/400 to charity if the bank company won’t take it… That is what I will do someday.I know the feeling collection calls and letters those blue things stapled to your door to appear in court. I know the feeling Know sad lawyers too. Just know that someone has been through it worse and I am still alive forgiven and will strive to not repeat my mistakes again even though Jesus knows we will and the confessional is waiting for us to come in and get things off our chest. Tell you pastor how you feel it feels so so good to get things off our chests and place them on Jesus’s loving shoulders. He’s got it in control. Have peace tonight think good thought like the day we will be with the Lord and all our tears will be dry and the lion will finally lay with the lamb. God Bless Scoob.


What is even worse is that I started a special novena to St. Thomas More 2 days ago, and I think, maybe this is punishment for being a debtor.

don’t be so hard on yourself… Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. The fact you feel so sorry and sad make your heart contrite and soft to accept Jesus into your heart. It will be ok calm down think good thoughts think that you are still alive and you can fix things. The Lawyer the lying the debt the sadness offer it up to God and let go and let Jesus. I wish everyone had your softness in their hearts as you do, You seem such a beautiful person even though we never met,. but your sorrow and sadness is so refreshing and beautiful… You will be OK and God will see you through. Trust in him. do not look down at the water but look up to Jesus and all will be well. God Bless Scoob.


Good one scoobydo I think that if we can get this “MERCY” of God into us and then calm down to the point of saying Lord I blue it help me! Then pray pay back and leave the reast to God.

" The weight of our crosses cannot ever be heavier than Jesus took for you or for me in any way".

Tell Jesus you nail your crosses to the cross Jesus took for us. Remember Jesus own words " I thirst’ He was telliing you and me that He thirst for more sins on the cross so give it up to Him.



Hi, sorry to hear you’ve got yourself into a pickle.

The smoking kind of says you gave up on yourself for a while.
Lets say you’ve hit bottom and now the only way is up.

You might get some clarity of conscience from Confession
but you do realise that if you have effectively stolen money that morally, restitution is required, statute of limitations aside. I guess you need to decide if you have.

It’s awfully hard when we are disappointed in ourselves.

Some words from God to you in scripture

“**I have dispelled your faults like a cloud
your sins like a mist
Come back to me, for I have redeemed you.” **[Isaiah 44:22]

**“Happy those whose crimes are forgiven, whose sins are blotted out; happy the man whom the Lord considers sinless.” **[Psalm 31:1-2] **For through Your Son, You have “cancelled every record of the debt that we had to pay; He has done away with it by nailing it to the cross.” **[Colossians 2:14-15]

Therefore, our God it is not presumptuous to ask that we may be healed of our faults and freed from our sin. Indeed, You have said:
No need to recall the past,
no need to think about what was before.
See I am doing a new deed,
even now, it comes to light; can you not see it?
Yes, I am making a road in the wilderness,
paths in the wild.
” [Isaiah 43:18-19]

Although we must strive through the Spirit to walk the way of Your Son, You assure us that we are not alone or dependent upon our efforts alone:

For I, … your God,
I am holding you by the right hand;
I tell you, do not be afraid, I will help you.
Do not be afraid…poor worm…
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer
.” [Isaiah 41:13-14]

“Victory and power and empire for ever have been won by our God and all authority for His Christ, now that the persecutor, who accused our brethren day and night before our God, has been brought down. They have triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb.” [Apocalypse 12:10-12]
“**Do not let your hearts be troubled
Trust in God still, and trust in Me ** [John 14:1]

“**The only thing that counts is not what human beings want to try to do, but the mercy of God.” **[Romans 10:16] “It is by God’s grace that you have been saved, through faith. It is not your own doing, but God’s gift.” [Ephesians 2:8-9]
"Free your mind, then of encumbrances; control them, and put your trust in nothing but the grace that will be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” **[1Peter 1: 13] “Happy those who fear God by joyfully keeping His commandments.” [Psalm 112:1]

"Cease to do evil. Learn to do good, search for justice, help the oppressed, be just to the orphan, and plead for the widow. [Then]**Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” **[Isaiah 1:17-18]

God bless you…Trishie


:slight_smile: Our friend.
You feel so bad about yourself. Just think how bad these guys felt about themselves. The actually had spent years with Him. They knew Him intimately…and if only we had the privilege they did…but just think about how badly they betrayed Him, most of them…and see what saints they turned out to be! Since I wrote the prayer, naturally part of my identification with these men is that I also see in me and in my life ways I’m a traitor to all I should be. So move over! It’s a big club!

Apostles, pray for our restoration and faith

Dear Apostles of Jesus, many of us experience crucifixion in our lives and in the lives of dear ones, as you did. Please pray for us and guide us, so that if loss and pain engulfs others’ lives or our own, we will continue to pray and evangelise.

You were His chosen companions. Your hearts were broken and your lives shattered by the terrible betrayal and death of your great hope Jesus. He had preached love and faith; He had preached the Kingdom to which He claimed all persons are called. Defeated and disgraced with no more honour than the vilest criminal, He was tortured, executed and buried.

His words and acts now meant nothing, as all of you—except John—scattered and hid to avoid a similar fate. Disillusioned, you wondered if the last few years were a shameful mistake. Were you betrayed by your discipleship to this condemned man?

Poor men, how could you reconcile the terrible events of this Passover with the Son of God, the Saviour whom you had believed Jesus to be! How could this disgrace, loss, and failure be the end to which He, and possibly yourselves, could be destined!
Peter, you, His appointed one, denied even an acquaintanceship with Him. How great your shock and your disillusionment when the full realisation of your perfidy assailed you!

Only John returned to stand beneath the cross with the grieving women. Beloved John! Shaking with grief and shock, you stood there, gutted by the unbelievable tragedy unfolding before you. Faith and love supported you, yet did you not experience the same terrible emptiness and loss as your fellow apostles and other disciples?

Dear Apostles, throughout the ages, countless individuals experience in some way the crucifixion of a loved one, or of themselves, and the consequent challenge to hope and faith. They may feel emptiness, or loss of zeal. They may lose all trust in the living, merciful God.

Pray for them, for us, that in such periods we may be faithful, regardless of broken heart and anguish of spirit. Pray that we may be restored to hope, to trust, to prayer, to active service of love in the Kingdom. Intercede for such resurrection in us. Implore the Holy Spirit to come and restore our spirits, making us true apostles of Jesus. Pray that we become evangelists, enabling the Spirit to draw others into the Kingdom of God.

Thank you, Apostles of Jesus, whose weaknesses mirror our weakness, and whose restored faith, zeal, and courage, inspire us. Pray for us who are your sisters and brothers throughout the ages. Share your blessings with us. Pray that we shall receive in fullness those precious gifts of His love that He longs for us to share and distribute.

Obtain that we honour and delight our God with all heart and strength. Then, when at last our souls rise to join yours, we shall enjoy eternity at your side, honouring and loving the great Son of God, whom we once betrayed out of our fear and selfishness. 1999

God bless, Trishie :slight_smile:

Remember how Jesus wrote in the sand as the men stood around intending to stone the adulterous woman! Maybe He wrote hints of what was hidden sin in their lives. So they slunk away without stoning her. That’s many of the rest of us!!!


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