All of the sudden I took a huge step backwards. I am in a panic over it all.
Many years ago I got into financial trouble and defaulted on a credit card for somewhere between $300-$400, or so they said, I disputed extra interest and late fees because I disputed when the payments were made. Well, this happened almost six years ago. I have been trying to settle it for 2 years. I followed credit advice and asked for a statement of what payments were made and when because the collection agency was asking for 3 times the amount owed. They never responded. They just kept demanding the full amount and then sued. I looked into the matter and found that it was past the legal time frame for collections. So I finally hired a lawyer and asked to be defended on the basis of the statue of limitations and asked for their evidence they never provided. He never forced the other side to provide the evidence, and instead had me make a statement that I believed it was paid as I should have paid it. That is true, but I cannot prove it, and I told him that. I told him I could not prove when they received the payments and I no longer had records. Now, instead of defending me according to my legal defense of this debt being too old to collect the lawyer is telling me to turn over my bank records to the other side. I told him that doesn’t make any sense, it will prove their case not mine. He said I am not going to argue that the debt is too old to be legally collected.
So, I am panicked because I am a liar and a debtor now and even though I have a legal defense the person I paid to defend me is not doing it. On the one hand, I know they claimed I owed more than I did, on the other hand, I feel it I am in a very un-Christian position and I am very ashamed.
But the real problem is even worset. The real problem is that I broke a vow to God. I had a habit a few months ago of smoking cigarettes occassionally, not as a heavy smoker, and I vowed to God I would not any more, and instead rely on faith. I broke that vow tonight out of extreme stress and I failed to have faith. I feel horrible.
What is even worse is that I started a special novena to St. Thomas More 2 days ago, and I think, maybe this is punishment for being a debtor.