Hurt by failing dates

I have gotten to the point of not wanting to know anything about women’s in general , I am so mad right now ,I believe God is asking me to give up on them , I have just found nothing but lyers

2 Likes

Can you elaborate further? Your post is too vague for us to provide you with any advice. Can you tell us of a specific situation or incident and we can try to figure out what’s wrong?

Are you also sure you’d like to discuss dating troubles on the internet? If I were you, I would have much rather confided in a friend.

1 Like

Does this have to do with your thread from about two weeks ago?

2 Likes

I’m not sure which one you are taking about?

1 Like

Hi, thanks for.your comments, I am not going to go into any details,I just wanted to express frustration, and I kind of was waiting for some sort of.reassurance , but I think I know the answer already.

1 Like

I think most people feel despondent over finding quality people to date at one time or another.

The important thing is that you not wallow in self pity, you not take it personally, and you not stay in this mindset. For every man who’s been hurt or rebuffed by a woman, there is a woman who has experienced the same treatment from a man. Humans are flawed. We must treat each person we meet with dignity and respect as children of God.

I dated the king of liars in college. He hurt me deeply, and I didn’t want to date at all for 3 years after that. It took a long time to get over the ordeal. But, time really does give us distance and perspective. And then we heal and move on. And find better people the next time.

7 Likes

Sorry you had to experience that hurtful situations, I.kind of.got over those myself in my teenage years, and actually it kind of damage me emotionally for the rest of my life , I am in my 40,s now, and even though I acknowledge some of it was the result of my own choices , some of.the consequences still hunt me.often.

1 Like

Yep. There’s no way around it. Getting hurt stinks and it takes time to heal. The older I get, the more I understand the saying that “time heals all wounds.” Of course, that’s not always a huge consolation for those struggling in the midst of hurt or heartbreak, but it’s absolutely true.

3 Likes

You do know that there’s a lot of women out there who could say the same about men.

Do you have trouble judging character and forming friendships in other parts of your life? Or is it only on the dating scene?

If so, that’s a skill you need to work on (and it can be done🙂).

2 Likes

This one:

3 Likes

Thank you for your comments,
I.am not sure what does the expression

Really means,(English is not my mother tongue, so continually learning),
But in regards to forming friendships, I struggle massively I have to admit ,

I am sure there are , and believe me , I am not the one wanting to start a war of the sexes here.
I. Am just talking from my personal experience ,

Oh no! , This lady was so kind to me , i am taking about actual dating experience,
I haven’t seen this Emma again, but I’ve been hearing from God ,and it kind of goes on the direction of , it’s always me trying to force the situation, and that never bears fruit, so right now I am working on letting my mind clear itself from all external influences, and let God take the space .
Does that make sense ?, The dating relationships I am talking about , goes back to the last couple of years or so.
Emma I met her like a month ago , but have not seen her since

Past dating breakups hurt,but thank God they didn’t develop into marriages that were to be broken .
I don’t know what the answer is ,but try and have your good friends men and women you can relate to easily with no pressures ,just good friends for the time being ?

Perhaps you have figured out the problem: no more forcing relationships that aren’t there, or making them into more than what they are at the moment.

3 Likes

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head there.

That’s right. Let go and let God. Very hard for us humans to do.

I suggest you continue to pray that God will bring into your life your future spouse. Then see what happens. Sometimes our prayers only get answered when we stop relying on ourselves and instead rely on God.

Someone I know, thought they’d never get married - but God brought them a good spouse and this person married late 30s - so had been ‘looking’ and ‘waiting’ for all those years. The spouse recently converted to Catholicism too!

So be open to whom God sends, take each relationship/person to Him in prayer before deciding ‘she is the one’.

2 Likes

Is it only women who you have trouble figuring out their character, or do you have problem figuring out men, also.

Do you have healthy relationships with friends and family?

1 Like

Hi there , my relationships has a little bit of everything on them :kissing_closed_eyes:, I am actually struggling with both right now. ,I feel like I literally need to be safe from myself !,
So obviously that extends to dating relationships, I am too messed up emotionally basically,
It’s like a vicious circle that repeat itself

I know it hurts but failing dates are successful marriage interviews. Every failed date is a win that you found out when you did. Hard to see that in the moment but you will be so grateful when you find the right woman.

6 Likes

That’s just great , thanks

I feel for ya. There’s someone in my life who’s struggling to find a ‘someone.’

1 Like
DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.