My husbands birthday was Tues. It came and went without a phone call or acknowledgement from his parents. Today I got the mail and opened a card from his parents. I usually don’t open my husband’s mail but for some reason today I did -thankfully. Inside the card his parents wrote “We thought we give you the same thing we received” and they signed it Mom and Dad.
My husband was laid off at the time of his mom’s birthday and we couldn’t afford groceries let alone presents and they were well aware of that. Although we did send a nice card and my husband called to wish her a happy birthday. Since we didn’t get something for his mom when his dad’s b-day came around we also just sent a card because it felt weird to get something for his dad when we didn’t for his mom.
This isn’t about them not sending my husband anything (they usually give him a check). A simple Happy Birthday and we love you would have been perfectly fine. What has stunned me is the fact that they would use their son’s birthday be petty and spiteful. In anger I ripped up the card and buried in the garbage so my husband wouldn’t see it. My husband grew up in am abusive house where his mom stood by and let his dad physically and emotionally abuse him for years.
I have remained silent through the numerous times his parents have re-gifted things back to us on holidays that we have given to them including something our daughter made for them for Christmas. And distracted my daughter when our eager little girl watched her grandfather toss aside gifts without even a comment that she was so excited to give him. I remember when my husband would come home for visits when he was in the military and his father wouldn’t even acknowledge he was in the room. And seen this man toss aside birthday cards and father’s day card without even opening them.
I am tired of being the better person, and overlooking their rudeness and their hurtful behavior. I’m not surprise at this coming from his dad but his mom has been the one parent that he could get the unconditional love that children are supposed to have from their parents. Even if she wasn’t behind it, she allowed it.
I’ve written and re-written a letter in response to the card but it always ends up sounding not very Christian. I’m so angry and more then that heartbroken that his parents would treat my husband this way. He has said recently he thinks my parents love him more then his own do - I just couldn’t let him see what his parents wrote, I couldn’t let him see that they would be that hurtful to him on his birthday.
There is so much we have endure from this people I could relate but this post is already long. So how do I respond? Is it wrong for me to keep this from my husband? I don’t know what to say to these people - well I know would I would like to say, but it would end our relationship forever.