[quote="needopinion, post:12, topic:212339"]
Thaks for your feedback. Yes, in a headline I have communicated with my husband about all of this - everything that's been detailed here has been shared with him.
To answer your questions - the reason that I wanted my husband at the hospital is because my son's epi-shot actually got injected into ME by accident. It's a long story - but I was getting the adrenaline - not my son. And on top of that my son's eyes were swollen shut and the eye ball itself was swelling. He was telling me he lost his vision. It was a horrible experience but I did not think 'I" should be driving if I had the adrenaline. I don't think that's being "sensitive".
As for the surgery, yes my husband fully supports it. He told me so - even this weekend. He never expressed any concern or even questioned me about any of it. That's not the issue. I asked him again if he's concerned about the procedure itself and he clearly said "no". Even after having this conversation about my concerns that I'm having to do it all on my own -- he hasn't changed course. I'm still going -- and he hasn't even asked who the doctor is - where it's being performed - or who is getting me to the hotel after the procedure. Even where I am staying. Nothing.
Thanks for your input and prayers.
Unfortunately, because your response is very defensive, you are disagreeing with me and are not open to any other suggestions for the underlying causes of your feelings towards your husband. As long as you are defensive, you will continue to be angry with your husband and blame him for everything. You need to be open that perhaps you are being sensitive and unreasonable? I am not in your shoes, so only you can dig deep and figure that one out.
SOME (not all) men are kinda falling short on empathy and nurturing instincts and perhaps he didn't realize how bad it was when you first called him and said you were calling an ambulance. His mind was in work mode and he was being a little thoughtless; you demanded he come and he came. Isn't that a good thing? He WAS there for you in the end. Why are you still angry with him for that? I don't understand.
I can count how many times my husband has been thoughtless on both hands. My daughter was very sick at 9 months and she had a fever of over 105 so we drove her to the ER. We waited 6 hours and my husband wanted to go home. I said no we had to stay b/c I wanted to find out what was wrong with DD. He was asking me if we could go home for like an hour until finally a doctor came to see DD and it was determined that she had an advanced UTI. Was I mad at DH...no. Men are just kinda lacking in that department. I'm glad I made us stay at the ER b/c my daughter was very close to having kidney damage.
There are other examples of this, like when my son had colic and DH blamed me for it.
Part of being married is having these occurances...every marriage is different and some husbands are very in tune with their children, but ours isn't. My husband loves our kids to no end, but I'm the one that is in tune with their needs more than he is.
Please give my advice a chance and don't get defensive. Sleep on it and see how you feel about it after a couple of days. Open your heart a little. Ask Mary to pray for your marriage and help you understand your husband better.