I have been where you are at. It was after three children. We were not Catholic at the time, though we were devout Protestants, and my husband was not interested in any “abstinence-based” birth control. He also didn’t want more children.
Here is what I did. I asked him not to do anything permanent. Well, I begged him. He saw how much I was in earnest and so he agreed to that. I think he couldn’t understand why I was so against it when his father was a pastor and had had a vasectomy. I showed him the info on the pill being an abortifacient and although he was not completely convinced, I told him I would not under any circumstances go on the pill. This was one area I was stubborn about. The only “compromise” we could find at the time was a barrier method, which I didn’t like either but at least it wouldn’t cause an abortion. (Our Protestant church, of course, encouraged birth control.) Then I prayed like crazy. I am not kidding here. I prayed for two years and kept my mouth shut. I did what I could to be a cheerful wife and mom and my husband had no idea how hard I was praying and what I was hoping for. One day, I didn’t have it in me to pray anymore. I totally gave it up to God, telling Him that He could change me or change my husband but I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I’ll never forget it. I was crying into the dishpan while my kids were all in bed and my husband was at work.
THE VERY NEXT DAY my husband basically told me that he had been wrong, he wanted more kids, and he hoped God would bless us with a bunch of them. Bam—just like that.
We have had three more kids since then. We now have children that are 12 1/2, 10 1/2, 8 1/2, 5, 3 and 1. My husband is still not interested in any type of abstinence but we do use ecological breastfeeding to space our babies about every two years. We were received into the Church this year at Pentecost and love the fact that, for the the most part, children are viewed as a blessing.
With our fifth child, while I was pregnant we made less than $15,000 that year. It was hard to have faith, hard to trust God, hard to see what God was doing giving us a child at such a time. When he was about 3 months old my husband was offered a position he knew nothing about and it has provided for us nicely for the past 3 years. God provides the pasture for the lambs He sends.
No matter who you are or what the issue is, Jesus says the same thing: “Trust me!” You can trust Him to work in your husband’s life, just like you can trust Him with your salvation.