husband filed

My husband filed for divorce on our 2 year anniversary. I’m in shock but coming to terms with it. I hope our son will be ok, as I don’t like to think about him in a split family.

My question is this, are there still men in the world who respect women’s role as wife and mother? Are there men that want lots of children, and want to be financial providers (main providers) for their families, while the women does the child-rearing (traditional?)

I’m not writing this to seek attention from men. I just never have seen this and wondered if men, including Catholic men, are all modernized now and want the woman to work/be on the pill/have 1-2 kids/etc. like my soon-to-be ex.

Thanks in advance.

Oh Lily, I’m so sorry. Prayers for you and your husband.

There are still traditional guys out there. DH tells people he wants at least a dozen little ones… but early on when we were still working out the work situation, one of the main things that made him appreciate me staying home was seeing how much money it saved us… because I saved more staying home and doing things myself than I’d been making when I had a low paying job (after discovering that my politics degree was pretty worthless).

Again, lots of prayers and I’m really sorry… it seems like a really rotten thing to do on your two year anniversary…

So sorry to hear.

I think there are plenty of men who want a traditional marriage but sad to say they are under continuous attack from the feminist lobby. To an extent I think we’ve only got ourselves to blame !

We all have choices. Some choose “I” some choose everyone else.

In a book called “Be A Man” it points out that the role of a Christian is to put everyone else before yourself. A real man will put God first, others 2nd and himself last.

The choice to put ourselves last is always before us. Sometimes it takes a while for people to “get” it. sometimes they just don’t because they quit.

But they miss out on the really good stuff.

First off. I am so sorry for your situation. I do not think that marriage is something that you can just file against.

To answer your question, I feel the same way you do. If fact, to be sure my wife can stay home, I have taken two jobs now. We also practice NFP and attend church every Sunday and Holy Day. They are men like me, however, just as other people have said, traditional manhood is under attack. I know, I used to be that way. :(.

The key I think is responsibility. We seem to always want something we do not have. We want a wife, but are told we can divorce if she is not longer what we want. We have to have sex, but do not want any of the responsibility of what that entails. We want a bigger house or a better car, so we put off having kids. TV, media, famous people all say we can do this and more. They do not stop and think if we should, or if it is the right thing to do. Instead of encouraging the man to take up his role and do the right thing, society tells him, “its OK to change your mind”. After all, society offers cheap birth control and abortion. Court regulated child custody and so on.

Sorry for my rant but I really do pray that this will not happen to your family.

I’m truly sorry to hear about your situation.

Yes there are.

Situation like yours actually make me angry at men. It’s bad enough when a man leaves his wife, especially after a short time such as in your case. But leaving behind a child is another story altogether. Once a child is involved, it’s no longer about what’s best for the husband or wife; it’s about what’s best for the child. Unless the child is in danger, the parents have to suck it up with regard to their differences and focus on the child…period.

Men that walk out in these situations aren’t men; they’re children. So the wife ends of dealing with two children rather than a husband and child. I’ve seen this nonsense happen more times than I care to talk about.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I’ll pray for you during this difficult time.

I’d love it if we can afford it that my wife can stay at home and raise the kids. But we can’t and she has to work.

Also it would depend on what wife wants to do. Work or stay home. Up to her.

I don’t think we have ourselves to blame. I think it comes down to the general GODlessness that is so in vogue today and selfishness. I’m not looking for a man to support me I can do that myself when I was looking I was looking for a partner in life. Staying at home with the kids is great if you can afford it but I grew up poor so maybe I have a different perspective. Sadly I’ve even run into a few guys who expected me to support them which to me is beneath contempt they even made no secret about it and were quite upfront. That’s what finally made me resigned to singlehood for good.

You, your son, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure it is a difficult time and I pray that the Lord will provide you with strength, comfort, and wisdom.

The short answer to your question is yes. There are certainly men that fit the description you provide. I consider myself to be among that category and have many friends that I put in the same category. I will say that I didn’t realize so many people like this existed until I surrounded myself with them. There are lots of us out there, but unfortunately, it’s not what gets the attention in media these days, which makes us feel like a minority.

May God bless you and your family during this time. May He protect your son from hurt during this time as well.

:byzsoc:I’m very sorry to hear your husband filed for divorce after only two years of marriage.I don’t know how old your son is, but it will be hard on him,and he sholudn’t blame himself.Sometimes, kids think they are the reason for a divorce, and their not.

Yes, there are men like you describe, though they may take awhile to find. My mom and dad got married in 1955,and it ended when momma died of a stroke in 1982.My dad never remarried.I’m sure they are men who would like to have their wives stay home, but because of finances both have to work. If this hasn’t gone to court yet, maybe there could be a chance for your family to stay together .Not trying to put any false hope your way, but maybe if he would go to a marriage couselor just one last time,or some sort of family therapist, maybe he will see the light,and realize what he is going to miss.We will pray for you, and hopefully he will wake up.

My parents had their problems, but they stuck together through everything.If he thinks later on getting invovled with another woman is going to be better,he’s sadly mistaken.
There have been plenty of men who realize later on that the woman they left their wife and kids for wasn’t worth it. But then it’s too late and the damage is done.

Yeah, they’re out there, but they learn only too quickly that “nice guys finish last”.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I will make sure to say a prayer for you and your family.

In answer to your question, most definately yes! My FH is one, as are two of my closest friends. :slight_smile:

Okay, I feel old…what’s an “FH?”

I think it’s future husband.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I just mean my future husband, I could say finace… but we are not yet officially engaged because we are waiting on some finances to fall into place first. :slight_smile:

i’m so sorry. that’s a really terrible anniversary present. prays for you

yes, there are men like that out there. i think that men should be more flexible than that, though. they should be open to the idea of both spouses working (if they can afford the childcare and other higher expenses that come with it) or even staying at home themselves if their individual situation makes it more practical for the woman to work and the man to stay at home with the kids. the problem is that society really punishes men like these. it is sad.

but they are out there. keep hope.

i married one of the nice guys. :slight_smile: i will never understand why he was so severely rejected because he is so amazing and i’m so blessed to have him! he’s everything a man should be and then some! i’d brag about him more, but that might be insensitive, given the op.

Instead of looking for a man who thinks all women should stay at home and have lots of kids, how about looking for a man who is willing to be in a partnership with his wife and support her in whatever path she thinks would be best for everyone involved? That can include either being a stay at home mom OR working outside the home.

you should call him your fiancee. (i assume that’s what you meant, instead of finace.) your promises to each other mean more than rings or parties or whatever else you need money for.

He wasn’t rejected, he was waiting for you! He just didn’t know it at the time! :wink:

The flooding of the work force with Females has essentially devalued the Male worker.
Ergo, the Male ‘Sole Provider’ is, for the most part, a thing of the past.

An abundance of Males do indeed want to be the sole provider in order to allow a Parent (as opposed to ‘a village’, a la Hillary Clinton) to be there for their children.

So. What to do *now? *

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