Husband has call to convert needs to talk with wife

I was baptized and raised Baptist. My wife as well but we both have not been engaged in church full time in our 9 years together (today 6/29 is nine years). I read the bible daily and study the word in a basic sort of way. I have really been drawn into the catholic faith thanks to EWTN radio that I get in Mobile, AL for the past few weeks. I have had a hard time in the past following the Baptist and non-denominational churches that we have briefly visited due to the method of teaching self help and self motivation rather than focus of the written word if that makes sense. The mass played on the radio in the AM and the reading from the has really spiked my interest in the catholic service and faith. I really feel drawn to get involved but know very little about it. This might sound crazy but I purchased Catholicism for Dummies on my Kindle to try to understand the foundation and it is a large foundation. Anyway I would like to ask for help if anyone else has been thru this situation of the desire and how to approach if my wife is not willing at first. She is VEry reserved and is not the same person I would be but in faith I don’t want to do this without her. I wanted to talk to her tonight about this during our anniversary alone time at dinner. I am very excited but very nervous at the same time. Help please??

a) I would suggest **not **bringing this up during your anniversary dinner. Choose another time.

b) I would find another time, when there is no rush or hurry, and just introduce the topic of spiritual growth. Explain to her you are growing in your faith and its taking you in a new direction. You are considering exploring the Catholic faith-- perhaps going to RCIA classes to learn more. Invite her to come with you, but don’t put pressure on her.

You might want to read, “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott Hahn. He found himself in the same spot years ago and was able to work it out with his wife, Kimberly. She eventually did convert, it wasn’t easy, but their story is a good example of what happens when you let God lead to where he wants you to go. Welcome Home! You will be an awesome Catholic.

I second what 1ke said.
There is a book called When one Converts that you may want to read at some point. Any of the Suprised by Truth books have anecdotes where people tell family members. You can go over to Steve Ray’s Catholic -Convert Defenders of the Faith message board. Lots of converts there with spouses that did and did not participate in conversion.

I recommend that you check out this website, and spend time learning why you want to convert before talking to your wife. She may not take it well at first if you don’t have good answers for her. Here is the website:

I am not married, yet. So take my advice for what it is. But my take on it is that you are committed to love and support each other, but that you also are individuals who will grow spiritually and emotionally throughout your lives. Just as you would support your wife in her spiritual growth, she also has an obligation and marital commitment to support you in yours. How this happens is very personal, and between you two.

I am sure that others can offer more practical tips on how you might approach things.

Excellent suggestion! That book is great! And I agree…I wouldn’t bring this up during your anniversary dinner. Just enjoy your time together and bring it up tomorrow!


Welcome to your journey home! I’m just down the road from you in Fairhope! Archangel Radio also played a huge role in my conversion from Southern Baptist to Catholic. I too recommend Rome Sweet Home for both you and your wife to read. Although I do not share your situation—my wife and I are Catholic—I did feel a lot of trepidation when it came to telling my Southern Baptist family about my decision. What I learned was to trust in God. My family was very supportive of my decision, even though I spent several sleepless nights in worry. God is calling you home to the one true Church. He will work it all out for you. God Bless!

I would also recommend Rome Sweet Rome- it explains a lot I wasn’t so sure about. I was where you were a few months ago, it was a little easier to break it to my spouse as he was a cradle Catholic and not particularly enamored of our current church but it still took some time for him to realize I was really serious and not having some midlife crisis-LOL!. Thankfully he will go to Communion so he can go to Mass with me as I haven’t changed my mind yet. Start RCIA in the fall and God willing will be received at Easter Vigil. I am having more difficulty with my Methodist raised kids about this but they are young adults and have to figure it out for themselves now anyway. God bless, will pray for you that you will find what you are seeking in your relationship with Christ no matter what you decide.

Thank you all for your advice. I will research the material you guys brought up. As for my wife I feel pretty strong that she won’t hold me back from anything that I feel very strong about. I’m just not sure about her feeling the same way about her path as the way I feel about mine. Then again you never know. She might jump right on board.

Here’s the thing. She knows about my faith and that I read the word of God in the morning and while in my easy chair in the evenings and prior to bed every night. She and I attend church but not very often most of all due to my input on going. I have had a hard time finding what I have been looking for. It’s sort of like I have been craving pizza and the only restaurants I would try is burger joints. It will feed me but the flavor is way off track. That might not be the best way to describe my worship part of my life but it is the best way I can explain it. Thanks again and WOW! I know where to go to get fast answers. You all are great.

About 9 years ago, I was the wife whose husband came to her and said he thought God wanted us to become Catholic.

At first, I thought he was kidding. And then I thought it was just madness. But I had to admit that my husband was the godliest man I knew. I agreed to do some fact-finding to see if I agreed that this is what God wanted for us. First, I read a lot of books, including “What Catholics Really Believe”, “Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic,” “On Being Catholic”, several of Scott Hahn’s books, and the Surprised by Truth series. I still wasn’t sure.

Then I agreed to take RCIA with my husband, on the condition that we would both pray constantly that God would show us the truth. My thought was, “God will show my husband that Catholicism isn’t true.” Ha, ha, joke’s on me. A month or two into it, after I’d been able to ask a lot of questions and compare Catholic theology to Scripture, I was ready to be confirmed Catholic.

So that’s what I would suggest you do with your wife. Ask her to take the fact-finding trip with you. Read books together. Take RCIA together this fall. Keep communicating, keep praying, keep studying the Bible together. God knows what he’s doing. Scott Hahn’s wife, Kimberly, didn’t become Catholic for a couple years after he did, but the Holy Spirit still drew her in.

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