My husband was born and raised Catholic, went to Catholic schools, and his parents are very devout Church members. However, he is not a church-goer, and has never been for the entire 13 years that I have known him. I was born and raised Baptist. When my husband and I became engaged, I began RCIA classes. He made it very clear to me, repeatedly, that he in no way wanted to be involved. He honestly could have cared less if I converted or not. I have always been Christian, but I was looking for a new church home, however, and became very interested in learning more about Catholicism. So I went through the process of conversion on my own. He neither encouraged nor discouraged it. As soon as I converted, my son (from my previous marriage, then annulled) was baptized as Catholic. However, we were never good about going to church every week.
Fast forward to now. We had a baby girl nearly 3 years ago, and promptly had her baptized within a month of her birth, to the delight of my in-laws. For a short time, we began going to church again. The birth and baptism of our daughter drew us closer to the Church. However, we stopped going consistently a while back. We go through short phases of attending for several weeks at a time, but then stop for no good reason. I have been feeling very withdrawn, and have been questioning my decision about converting. I’m not involved with the church, but want to be.
My problem lies with the fact that every week I ask my husband if he wants to go to church with the kids and I, and he always refuses because he is “tired” or “busy.” I cave and end up not taking the kids to church simply because I do not want to sit there alone, as a “single parent” when I most certainly have a Catholic husband at home who is just unwilling to go with us. Further, our 2-year-old is very challenging, and it’s so hard to enjoy Mass while battling with her the entire time. I end up not only angry with my husband for making me sit without him in church, but also because I have to tend to our kids most of the time already…and to have to deal with it in church, too, without his help…just makes me very angry. So, I never go.
Just wondered if I could get some advice or encouragement of some kind here. THANKS!