Hi all, a good friend recommended this site to me!
First, I was raised a baptist all my life, and seriously rebelled during college. I met my now husband at UGA, and we lived together for about 3 years before getting married. He is extremely “progressive”, and has never wanted children. After I met him, my mind changed as well, and I didn’t want children either. He told me before we got married that we could not do so if I wanted kids, and I fully agreed.
Long story short, I became Catholic a little over two years ago, and my sponsor gave me Christopher West’s book. I didn’t read it at first, but I did try to convince my husband to get our marriage convalidated. He completely refused, so I got a radical sanation. After that, I sat down and read the book; and it completely changed my outlook on everything. I stopped using birth control, and this has caused enormous friction between us. He has not budged on the issue, and we have not had sex in over 5 months.
I now really want children, very much so. I have considered seeking a divorce, but I am unsure of obtaining an annulment after a radical sanation. I talked to my priest, and he said that a radical sanation is basically one-sided, and it only requires the intent of the Catholic spouse to adhere to Teaching. If that is met, then the marriage is valid.
My husband is basically now throwing a massive tantrum. He is so against having children, that he has already been to a Urologist for the “counseling” session, and has a vasectomy scheduled for one month from Tuesday. Is there anything I can do to stop him, or help him understand what true sexuality is about? I think if he has the vasectomy, it will be the end of our marriage. Knowing that it will never, ever be possible to have children will devastate me. At least now I can pray God changes his mind. I am feeling like if he does this, being divorced and unable to remarry would be no different than living with someone who is unwilling to give all of themself for something greater.