My husband wants me to wear a chapel veil. I think they are beautiful, but would feel like I were drawing attention to myself. WWYD? :o
Well, I would ask him why he wants me to wear it, as it is not required. What is his motivation here? And why is he asking this now when he didn’t before?
I personally feel no motivation to cover my head at church, but there are some women who make the choice to. However, I have not heard any of them say that they did it because their husband wanted them to. It is something inside them that makes them want to do it. It’s a devotion that means something to them.
This is something that if you feel called to do, is a beautiful devotion, but nothing more. It is not required and no one should impose it on you. I would tell your husband you will pray about it, and leave it at that. If, in the future, you feel called to try it, then great, but if not, you are not offending the Lord or doing anything wrong.
Just being beautiful isn’t reason enough to impose such a thing on you or anyone else. If you want to cover your head you can wear a hat. Chapel veils/mantillas are no better or worse than a plain, simple hat, and may even be more humble.
We have some lovely threads regarding veiling over in Trad Cath. Come over and discuss it with us.
And yes, Canon Law no longer requires women to cover. However, it is a private devotion, and yours alone to discern. Did you ask your husband why he thought you should veil?
When I was young women were required to wear head coverings in church. I always carried a small chapel vein in my purse. I wish women still wore them. They were a simple outward sign of devotion. Today women even wear pants or shorts to church. Guess my age is really showing since to this day I cannot wear pants to church.
Since head coverings are no longer required I would wonder why your husband wants you to cover your head. Have you asked him?
I honestly cannot understand why anyone would be dissuaded from doing what they regard as a pious act by worrying about the opinion of others.
You could just wear it as an act of love, both to your husband and to Christ.
Who cares what other people think? Its not as if you’re doing something which should be distracting them, if they’re annoyed or anything its their own problem.
If you are uncomfortable dont submit to your husband in this manner unless you want to do his for your own reasons.
Thank you for your replies.
I haven’t asked him why he wants me to, but I will tonight. We were at church and saw a woman wearing one, and he said he thought I should wear one. He’s not pushy or anything, and wouldn’t make me do something I didn’t want to - we’re just pretty traditional and I think he likes that aspect of it.
I’ve thought about wearing one before, but never felt the true need to. I will pray about it. I guess I worry that other people will think I’m trying to be better than them… We’re in a small overseas military parish and I already have the reputation of being “too” Catholic. LOL
I’d be interested in your dh’s motivations too…other than that: only do it if YOU feel called!
I asked him why last night, and he said because they look nice.
Well then, darlin- it’s now your turn to discern the reason to wear one.
Start to pray and see if that is where God is leading you.
I agree with Patience. This is something for you to discern.
Oh, and I think there are worse reputations to have than being ‘too Catholic’. I have that rep in my family - but there are some Catholics who think I am not Catholic enough, so…lololol…
My wearing one was my own idea, but my husband loves it that I do. I think that if I had not decided to he would have asked me if I had considered it, and I probably would have done it anyway. If that makes sense.
Anyway - it’s up to you now! They have some really beautiful ones on eBay!
Presbyteress Frederika talks about how the ladies at Holy Cross Orthodox Mission near Baltimore all got convinced about the same time that they should cover their heads. One of their number knitted prayer caps for them all.
It’s a beautiful custom that has scriptural support, but it should be something the women need to be convinced of themselves, I think.
Since no one has addressed my point, I’ll bring it up again. Why not a nice, simple hat if you want to wear a head covering? Mantillas and chapel veils are not holier than a simple hat. I don’t understand this push for mantillas when it is not necessary nor a part of Anglo tradition. A HAT would do just as well. :rolleyes:
Della, I agree with you: covering your head is covering your head, right? And to be fair: in my parish LOTS of women wear hats ( especially the 50+ generation), but I’ve never seen a veil…In Spain, however, I have seen veils, but hardly any hats…I think you have a point! Maybe it is because those lacey veils are ‘prettier’?
We have a mix of hats and lace at my parish - mostly lace. I personally hate to wear hats unless I’m going to keep it on for a long time, I get “hat head”, and so I prefer the mantilla. Besides - wearing a hat to ME is just a normal every day thing to do. It does not call the purpose apart from wearing a hat for anything else. I do love to wear hats if I’m going to wear one all day, so to me it’s just not “special” enough for Mass. Perhaps that’s why many women prefer the lace - not because it’s “pretty”, but because it’s reserved for Mass and only Mass.
Hats one wears to Mass and hats one wears to a picnic are different things. When I was a girl my mom wore a hat that matched her dress suit, her purse and shoes. She only wore it to church for services, weddings, and funerals. Not all hats are the same.