[quote="Genovefa, post:1, topic:236048"]
Hi. My hubby was injured when our car was hit by an 18-wheeler a few years ago. He sustained a serious head injury and was in a coma and went to rehab for months. He has recovered very well, but cannot work or drive.
I miss the way he used to be. Sometimes (not always) I feel like I have lost my companion and feel like a mother to him instead of a wife. I have to help him with a lot of things, as he gets confused and overwhelmed and his short term memory isn't great.
Otherwise he is loving and appreciative of me and is the same sweet man I married. But I miss the partnership we both have. I have to make major decisions, handle the finances, run the household, as he just can't do these things.
He is still improving and my hope is that we will find ways that he can contribute that will work for him. But we are still finding our way.
Before the accident we had a very traditional marriage. We had been married 15 years and he was the leader and decision-maker. He took care of me. I miss that.
I feel as if I am being a helper to him, as the Bible describes. And for years he was my leader and protector. But what is he now? How can we be a married couple again? We are far from traditional now. As I am the one who drives, works, pays the bills, and makes the decisions. He will probably never work or drive again. And his judgement will never be what it was. :(
first of all i want to say im sorry for all that you and your husband are going through:console:
and i want to suggest to you to take a different view of the situation
firstly your husband may be injured/disabled to the point where he cant work or drive...but be thankful you still have him and thaat he's alive, the outcome of that accident could have been so very different...there must be countless men and women who have lost their spouses who would give anything for them to be alive again even if it meant they'd be disabled and require being cared for...
secondly in your wedding vows didnt you say that you'd take your husband for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health etc?...
thirdly you say your husband was the leader, decision maker, and that he took care of you?...you are in a partnership,,,so now its YOUR turn to do those things for him, i bet he did it for you lovingly and without a murmur of complaint so do the same for him
and lastly, remember he is doing the best he can, its not his fault hes disabled, im betting he didnt ask to be in that accident..the best thing to do is treat him like a normal person, speak to him like you always used to, show him lots of love and affection...alot of people treat disabled people like they are a child and its not right...dont do that with your husband
god bless you