HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE temper


#1

I have a problem. I have a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE temper. I get into arguments with my parents and I can’t seem to “back down” (that’s what my dad calls it.) Should I let my parents have their way every time just because I am not an aldult and even if I they are being VERY unfair. I KNOW my parents have authourity over me but that doesn’t mean they are always right . And please don’t say I just THINK they are unfair, or that “Life’s not fair”. And how do I control my temper? What should I say if we’re fighting that won’t make my parents angry and how do I say it? Oh, I should probably say that most of the arguments start with arguments between one of my siblings and me and turn into arguments between my parents and me.


#2

Practice biting your tongue and just walking away.

Can you give an example of what is unfair?

I can honestly say I don't think I've ever had a "fight" with one of my teen sons. We discuss calmly. They present their reasons, I present mine, and we come to an agreement that is mutually satisfying.

We've honestly never yelled at each other or anything. :shrug:


#3

I hate to break it to you, and you will not like this answer, but if you have a bad temper, you simply need to learn self control. It's that simple. Walk away, hold your breath, speak to a shrink if you need to.

There is no excuse for having a nasty temper.


#4

[quote="Rascalking, post:3, topic:253493"]
I hate to break it to you, and you will not like this answer, but if you have a bad temper, you simply need to learn self control. It's that simple. Walk away, hold your breath, speak to a shrink if you need to.

There is no excuse for having a nasty temper.

[/quote]

Agreed. Even if your parents are being unfair, and they very well may be, your temper is your responsibility.

I have a temper problem myself (though it is pretty well handled now...a few years ago...not so much :)). I also had/have a not-so-great relationship with my parents. When I lived with them, and would get mad (sometimes because I was "in the right", sometimes I wasn't), I would take the time to remind myself that I wouldn't be living with them forever. It made me feel a lot better. I love them, but I'm glad I don't live with them now. ;)


#5

very true.


#6

[quote="Lucky10279, post:1, topic:253493"]
I have a problem. I have a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE temper. I get into arguments with my parents and I can't seem to "back down" (that's what my dad calls it.) Should I let my parents have their way every time just because I am not an aldult and even if I they are being VERY unfair. I KNOW my parents have authourity over me but that doesn't mean they are always right . And please don't say I just THINK they are unfair, or that "Life's not fair". And how do I control my temper? What should I say if we're fighting that won't make my parents angry and how do I say it? Oh, I should probably say that most of the arguments start with arguments between one of my siblings and me and turn into arguments between my parents and me.

[/quote]

It really depends on what you are arguing about. Arguing with parents is different than arguing with other people because with other people you can usually walk away. With anyone, you really have to use your reason and judgment. You have to ask yourself "Is this worth it?" My parents just don't like me I think. But you gotta just find something else to do. Just say, Mom, Dad, I really don't want to argue anymore. If they keep on you, you just gotta relax. I know what it is like with my parents. Some times they just keep railing on and on and on. You've gotta stop fighting with your siblings too. That is just childish. There is no real reason to be fighting with your siblings or anyone else, unless they are blatantly sinning and you need to tell them to stop. You don't have to argue with anyone about being "unfair". Don't snap back at them. It'll be better that way. Just don't do it. I don't always follow my own advice. But I know its good advice. At least I'm better than I was before.


#7

You can walk away from arguing with your parents, too. :wink: Just go to another room or outside.


#8

:thumbsup:

I don’t get people who yell and scream alot due to a bad temper. They’ll blame it on anything else rather than take responsibility, but it boils down to a lack of self control.

Bite your tongue and move on. It’s that simple.


#9

I can’t always walk away. I’ve tried that. I can with my siblings but not always with my parents. Sometimes if I try to walk away my Dad says I’m not allowed to to.


#10

until you learn to control your temper you will not be able to make much progress in any area of life, including family relationships, education, work, friendship, or the spiritual life. Make this you top priority, relying on prayer, penance and the sacraments for help. As far as a minor child in her parents' care having her own way, with respect, you don't have a way. Or you do, but it is called the 4th commandment. Honor and obey your father and mother in all things that are not sinful.


#11

[quote="Catholic90, post:2, topic:253493"]
Practice biting your tongue and just walking away.

Can you give an example of what is unfair?

I can honestly say I don't think I've ever had a "fight" with one of my teen sons. We discuss calmly. They present their reasons, I present mine, and we come to an agreement that is mutually satisfying.

We've honestly never yelled at each other or anything. :shrug:

[/quote]

An example (sometimes what causes the fight) is when my siblings and I get in a fight and I am the ONLY one punished. JUST because I'm a LITTLE bit older. They always think it's all my fault! And they wonder why I am scrupulous! MAYBE because they think EVERYTHING is my fault. Sorry for the anger. I just needed to vent.


#12

[quote="puzzleannie, post:10, topic:253493"]
until you learn to control your temper you will not be able to make much progress in any area of life, including family relationships, education, work, friendship, or the spiritual life. Make this you top priority, relying on prayer, penance and the sacraments for help. As far as a minor child in her parents' care having her own way, with respect, you don't have a way. Or you do, but it is called the 4th commandment. Honor and obey your father and mother in all things that are not sinful.

[/quote]

HOW do I control my temper?


#13

How old are you Lucky…??


#14

This is what happens.

:mad: + :confused: = :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:


#15

[quote="jakasaki, post:13, topic:253493"]
How old are you Lucky..??

[/quote]

Why do you want know?


#16

My parents are both youngest children. This also happened to me, the oldest, A LOT and was the source of a lot of my frustration with them. I think they were trying to get back at their older siblings through me, or something. :shrug:

A different way to think about this: even if your siblings aren’t punished, were you still deserving of a punishment? I think back on this often with my parents. They were harsher discipline-wise with me than any of my other siblings, and although I’ve had a few more years as “an adult” it’s already very clear to me that their stricter discipline may have helped me find my way a lot sooner in life. My siblings are wandering and lack focus and initiative. They don’t feel driven to do anything and are bored with life. Looking back, it may have been unfair for me to be disciplined when they weren’t…but it may have been more unfair to them than to me.


#17

What…???

Mad plus confused equals banging your head…??

Up above I inquired about your age - can you also specify the ages of siblings, male/female…

Thanks!


#18

[quote="Lucky10279, post:15, topic:253493"]
Why do you want know?

[/quote]

Out of curiosity - it helps to know..

Is revealing your age a problem?


#19

:thumbsup:

Jakasaki is totally correct to ask these questions. They’re very valid to the discussion.

I don’t get this-it’s an anonymous forum. People confess all sorts of sins/problems, but they won’t tell you their age?


#20

[quote="silicasandra, post:16, topic:253493"]
My parents are both youngest children. This also happened to me, the oldest, A LOT and was the source of a lot of my frustration with them. I think they were trying to get back at their older siblings through me, or something. :shrug:

A different way to think about this: even if your siblings aren't punished, were you still deserving of a punishment? I think back on this often with my parents. They were harsher discipline-wise with me than any of my other siblings, and although I've had a few more years as "an adult" it's already very clear to me that their stricter discipline may have helped me find my way a lot sooner in life. My siblings are wandering and lack focus and initiative. They don't feel driven to do anything and are bored with life. Looking back, it may have been unfair for me to be disciplined when they weren't...but it may have been more unfair to them than to me.

[/quote]

My dad complains about how his older sister treated him, so maybe that's part of it. I don't know though. He said that when he was FIVE years old his Dad slapped him so hard his lip bled. This was for wetting his pants! Was this abuse or am I being hyper-sensitive?


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.