Harmony, I am sad if you are finding life painful, and perhaps feeling very discouraged on your own behalf and others.
I don’t know many people who haven’t been through tough stuff sooner or later. What may be one person’s problem or set of problems or deprivations may seem like nothing to another person, but maybe it’s the most they can handle. That’s something we don’t always realise. As St Therese said, a thimble that is filled to the brim is as full as a bucket that is filled to the brim. So it is with pain and sorrow. That’s why Prayer Warriors treat a post about what might seem to others an inconsequential request as kindly as a request that is overwhelming.
Shall we say that God does not like the priest Fr Thomas who was brutally tortured and murdered in India this week? All the good priest wanted to do was say the second Mass of his weekend.
Many of our hardships and sorrows have directly or indirectly come from either our own choices (of marriage partners for instance) or the choices and actions of other humans, not God. Even some of our illness comes from choices we’ve made or that other humans have heaped on us. A great many of our problems are caused by humans, ourselves, those we love, those we interact with in some way, our diet, our attitudes that lead to stress overload or loneliness or addiction, our education or lack of it, and even by our governments. Sometime things come out of the blue, things that seem terribly unjust, like a baby’s illness.
I was shocked when I learned that as a newborn in the labour ward I was dropped on the floor from arm height by a young nurse. I hadn’t done anything wrong, but my first experience of life was shock, pain, and screaming. Should I wonder if God loved this little baby, to have allowed that. It was the lack of skill of the nurse. I happen to know that God loves me, though I don’t always know that, so I understand.
I can scream blue murder for quite a number of things in my life, but I can traces back many of them to a point of choice…of mine or another person in my life. I can identify with so many of the difficulties and sadnesses of those who post in our forums, simply because I’ve been through that or something like that.
Maybe something in you is silently screaming, and there’s no answer to the pain. So I can only say to your brain ,which is cold comfort, that yes God does love each of us…but it sure would be nice if He were sometimes a little more obvious! Sometimes it is simply with the kindness of others that God expresses love.
I know that none of this helps while you’re feeling that lonely kind of intense pain and disappointment that you don’t know how to express.
A big hug from across the ocean, Trishie