I am dating a Baptist girl whose father is a preacher

I am a devoted Catholic, I however seem to have problems defending things, like she says stuff to me like "we don’t believe in baptism as an infant. You are only saved through accepting Christ as your savior (asking him to come into your heart and life and save you from our sin), that he died on the cross, arose on the 3rd day and is coming back. How can you do/believe that as an infant?! We also don’t believe in confessing our sins to the priest. They can’t save you, only God can. I know there’s also something that Catholics believe about the Virgin Mary. We believe that she bore Christ, but we don’t pray to her. "

I am confused, mainly because besides this I really like her a lot and we have a lot in common. Is it possible to be a devoted Catholic and date a Baptist? Also how do I respond to what she said?

If she’s making you doubt your faith or confusing you, I would stop dating her until you’re stronger in your faith. But even if her questioning has no negative affect on your faith, but you just don’t know how to answer, maybe ask yourself, do you want her poking holes in your faith for the rest of your life? Because it’s quite possible she’ll never convert to the Catholic Church.

The real problem is the lack of respect for each other’s faith. She will be using the words of your last sentence too… replace Catholic with Baptist…

Hi jas :slight_smile:

Yes, it’s possible, but I would try my best to be on the same page when it comes to something as important as faith before you do something like marry one another (A lot of people I believe underestimate the importance of faith when it comes to their relationship I believe), as the road will be much smoother if you do.

It will depend on the situation. Which I don’t know you or her, so I can’t say, only you can.

These forums have articles you can find that answer many of these common ones, especially the claim that we worship the virgin Mary, which we don’t (Just incase you were wondering ;))

Personally though, I would recommend Dr Scott Hahn, who used to be a protestant who converted to Catholicism and is fantastic when it comes to engaging with protestants.

Scott Hahn’s conversion story - youtube.com/watch?v=YW-qX6DgcPw

He has many other youtube videos and things on specific issues you can look up, there is also a great book of his called ‘Rome Sweet Home’ amazon.com/Rome-Sweet-Home-Journey-Catholicism/dp/0898704782 which I would very much recommend.

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

Beware taking relationship advice from strangers on the internet, but a few other posters have said useful things here. Even if you had answers for her questions, why would you want to put yourself in a relationship where she feels the need to make you constantly defend your faith?

Think about the possible paths this relationship will take. Will she ever stop challenging your Catholicism? Only when you convert to being a Baptist or she becomes a Catholic and her entire family hates you forever?

My observations on interfaith relationships is that they work when 1) at least one party doesn’t really care about religion, 2) someone eventually converts, or a very rare 3) they are extremely respectful. My brother managed to be both 1 and 2 and became a luke-warm convert to his wife’s religion just to shut her father up.

Wise wise words, Sad is it not that this happens… 3 should be the norm,

Chewy, I have a bad feeling about this…

Baptists have ‘generally’ been taught to hate the Catholic Church. You need either to really sharpen up on your faith, or bail.

I get anti-Catholic snide remarks all the time.

DESPITE my reading everything and preparing brilliant one liner responses. Daily Mass attendence for 50+ years.

Start reading now.

Maybe Scott Hahn.

Get the other books that I have recommended.

But be prepared for a life of absolute living Hell.

It seems like she is “missionary” dating you. She is trying to actively evangelize you hoping that in the near future you would be a Baptist just like her.

I’m married to an evangelical Anglican, and it works very well. On the other hand a former Catholic coworker married a baptist girl whose father is a baptist preacher. He bought into it hook, line and sinker.

They are divorced since many years. We are still married since 28 years. YMMV.

One thing that will sink the relationship for sure though, are apologetics and doctrinal arguments. This kind of relationship requires great maturity. If anything, focus on your common love of Christ, and leave the other freedom to seek Him in the way each knows best. Pray for each other a lot. Evangelize not with words, but with acts: remain true to you faith and devotions, and always act with Catholic charity, seeing Christ in your girlfriend, and her father. When they try to engage you into an argument, don’t bite, but do answer any questions as best you can.

Two examples: once my late Pentecostal mother in law admonished me to pray the Psalms as we sat on the balcony on a warm summer evening. I had just finished reading Vespers and my breviary was still beside me. So I showed her what it was all about. Next thing you know, she was attending Vespers with me (in Latin!!!) at the local Abbey. She didn’t convert before she died, but I never again heard any anti-Catholic diatribes. She’d just ask genuine questions on our approach to faith, but never argue.

Another time I was standing outside the abbey on a warm evening waiting for Vespers when a “bible-believing” Christian started railing about how monasteries were the work of men,and not God, not in the bible, etc.

I replied “I see you love the Bible as I do. Have you ever heard of Lectio Divina?” He hadn’t, so I explained a bit what it was and encouraged him to Google it.

Plant a seed, not an argument. Faith comes from the heart, and some measure of self-discovery, and a planted seed.

Greetings, friend.

If this relationship lasts it sounds like you are going to be spending a great deal of time defending your faith. You dont want her dad thinking you are uninformed as they will never let up if that’s the case, they will be constantly attempting to save your Catholic soul.

I’m going to post a link to a website that offers a plethora of FREE catholic apologetics.

biblechristiansociety.com/download

John Martignoni is a excellent apologist and his talks mainly defend Catholic teaching from the scriptures, since that is what protestants want to see.

Might take you a week or so to listen to them all, but once you do, you will be glad you did as he touches on pretty much every protestant objection i have ever heard.

Blessings

Wow. This seems like fighting a losing battle. My prayers are with you.
As a Catholic, we are called to defend the Truth. If these questions serve to strengthen your grasp of the Catholic Faith, then I would view this ongoing line of questioning as a good thing. In terms of apologetics, I wouldn’t fear the response of “I don’t know.” But make sure you follow that up with, “let me check” with credible sources (like the wealth of information on this site). Try to answer one question at a time. Be as thorough as you can. Try to do your best!

On a somewhat related note, I would be interested in any personal accounts from Catholic converts who were once members of the Baptist community and their reasons as to why they converted.

Good luck and God bless!

I recommend you listen to these two CDs/MP3s from Patrick Madrid.

lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/why-be-catholic?promoCode=104130

lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/right-here-right-now-always-be-ready-to-share-your-faith?promoCode=104130

Catholic Apologist & College Professor Patrick Madrid used to date a Baptist girl and was constantly drilled by her father. Their relationship didn’t last, but it made him the apologist he is today.

Worth listening to.

God Bless

This is truly a bad idea.

You are both active/devout in your own faith. She is very unlikely to become a Catholic. Baptist theology is very far from Catholic theology.

Frankly, this has very little to no chance of progressing in a positive way to marriage. You are obligated to raise your children Catholic. I don’t see that being something she would want.

It is unwise. Wasting your time and hers. And likely to lead to heartache for you both if you develop deep feelings and then in the end cannot move forward.

Find someone with whom you SHARE faith and vision of a Catholic family life.

Ya know, it seems most every other christian denomination I have dealt with over the years, they all seem to be anti-catholic to some degree. I have always found that strange.

Hate starts with words like these.

This is just un-charitable and stupid. We start with not marrying outside the catholic faith, then not watching anything but catholic approved tv, then only reading catholic books, then only doing business with catholic companies, then attending only catholic schools, then we can only drink soda or water from companies that are catholic friendly and before you know it…here come the catho-nazis ready to gather us all up.

I think she has lit a spark in you, what a great opportunity you have to learn more about not only your faith but anothers. I can personally tell you as a wife who grew up LCMS and is married to a Catholic that it is certainly possible. Don’t let people tell you it’s impossible. Life is what we make of it.

My suggestion, start learning and have charitable discussions, you may just find that her faith isn’t as different as you think.

And I would add to this, while you learn about her faith, invite her and her dad to read the CCC. (You can probably pick up one for 5 bucks a used book store) I think they would be surprised with just how much of it they actually agree with. This will help them clear up any misconceptions they have against the church as protestants usually dislike what they think the Church is, not what it actually teaches…

As a devoted Catholic, you can only date (a devoted) Baptist if you are thoroughly grounded in the faith and can provided a ready defense for all of her questions arguments and objections. It sounds like you are have some problems with this. Since you are feeling confused, either read up on the Catechism and provide a good, worthy explanation to these issues, or end the relationship now, before she convinces you to leave the Church or puts so many doubts in your mind, you walk away and spend years of your adult life looking for something that you had all along. She sounds like a nice girl and you have had some good times together, but her father is a Baptist minister and she will be expected to give him a nice, Baptist son-in-law. There a plenty of nice Catholic girls out there looking for a nice Catholic guy like you.

Get out of that relationship. My advice.

The part that bothers me in your post, OP, is the definitive language. If not for that, I would agree with those who have suggested you could maybe set some ground rules for respectfully learning about one another with the understanding that no one would convert, and you could progress on toward happily ever after.

If, however, she is using phrases like “You are only saved through…” or “he can’t save you” as if she has some definitive authority, she’s not open to discussion. She’s open to your conversion. She’s right (just because - in my experience, they usually don’t feel the need to prove that, but it’s a ‘given’ that no one should question), you’re wrong (because, well, Catholics always are), and that’s how it will go.

Search your heart, pray, and pay attention to the language used - words, tone, context, etc. You’ll be in my prayers. This isn’t a fun place to be if you really care about her.

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