I am getting help, but I'm worried

Hi,

My name is Amy if you don’t already know and I posted a thread on gluttony. Well anyway I said I have had thoughts of throwing food up after I eat cause I feel so full. I told a friend on msn, and I am going to go talk to a school counselor on Thursday. She is supporting me by going with me she’s a good friend. But I am weird because, like I am afraid the school will notify my parents and tell them. I am scared my parents will think of me bad now for wanting to throw food up. I am afraid that they won’t trust me because I never told them about it. But I just hope that they’ll understand. Is there a way I can talk to the school counselor and not be afraid to talk? I am a quiet person and I keep things to myself, except for when I post on Catholic Answers Forums, and when I talk to my priest. I am going to be glad when I talk to my priest Saturday and tell him about things. But will God still love me and my body, even if I’ve had these thoughts? I mean I look in the mirror at myself and I don’t like the way I look. And my friend said to me today, you’re going to die of heart failure, cause I was eating cookies and drinking a chocolate milk cause the school was out of what I wanted to eat today, like pretzel, but they were out, and tacoes they were out of too. When she said this to me it hurt me a lot I feel sick emotionally. And I almost started crying, but I didn’t then when I got home I cried after I told my one good friend about it. And when my friend Holly said I was going to die of heart failure I felt like throwing up after lunch. But I didn’t only time I did throw up was Thanksgiving a few years ago I put too much whip cream on my pumpkin pie and I was throwing up all night since then I haven’t ate pumpkin pie lol. And I have only thrown up like when I am really sick, but I am so healthy I rarely get sick. Thank you all for reading this and giving me your support I hope you have good answers for me.

From, Amy:thumbsup:

Amy, I wouldn’t call it gluttony—God is not out to get you for everything you do! We are under alot of pressure these days to be perfect, as the media portrays. You sound like a binger and purger, i.e., bulimic—you might not be into it that deeply yet, but don’t let it get out of hand.

For one you NEED to talk to SOMEONE fast. you sound like you need some counseling. Your school counselor is a good start—and if you were my daughter, I would be happy that you even went to get help. Talk to you parents. They are there to help you. But don’t keep it to yourself, because it festers. You might not be so far into your “food habit” so all you might need to do is have some education on nutrition, and how calories aren’t going to AUTOMATICALLY make you blimp out:eek: --I have to tell my 14 yr old daughter this ALL the TIME. An indulgence every so often WILL NOT make your health fail, either—don’;t worry about heart attacks at this stage:) One indulgence at Thanksgiving does not merit a a concern. The school counselor will not automatically contact your parents—but if you are worried then just talk to your parents.
And getting counseling does not make you weird. The best of us have gotten it—it is a sign of great maturity to accept help.

I hope I helped. I want for you to talk to your parents, now. so go do it:D God Bless you, and I pray your parents understand

Hi Amy,

I can only speak as a father of three children. If my daughter who is now 13 did not come to me with a problem like yours* then* I would be disappointed. I would not be mad because she waited but, rather, I would be very happy that she came to me. I was your age and I know how hard life seems at times. But when you get to be 48 yrs. old you realize that people are there to help you. And rest assured, my dear, that God NEVER stops loving you. That push that you feel to be here and to speak with a priest is the way that God expresses His love for you. He does not want to see you suffer with this alone. God also gave you your parents to help you. Now not all parents are responsible and I don’t know of your relationship with your parents but it can never hurt to try. If it seems that it is because your relationship is strained, then see a school counselor.

I won’t try to scare you because I do believe that you want help and will get it. But if your situation were to continue then health issues will be of great concern. You don’t want that. There is always a hidden source as to why you do this. Someone needs to reassure you that whatever that source is, it can be resolved. This is not always easy but with the help of God who gives you caretakers you will win this. You are in my prayers, Amy, and I pray for all those whose lives you will touch when you get the help you need…God Bless…teachccd:)

Never ever give up…

I can only echo the other posters here - sin and all other problems thrive on darkness and secrecy. The way to banish them for good is to let the light in on 'em.

Tell someone - a teacher or counsellor or trusted adult if not your parents. Your priest as well, to be sure, but I think you may need someone with more experience with concerns like yours.

There are probably support groups on the internet for girls with body-image issues and maybe even toll-free phone numbers you can use. Be careful though, there are also websites out there that actively promote anorexia and bulimia. Avoid them like the plague.

Remember God created you out of love. He didn’t have to make you or give you life. He chose to because He loved you. Even though before you were born He knew everything you would do in your life - good and bad, He STILL loved you enough to create you!

You are making the right decision getting help and if you have concerns about your parents being notifed, make sure to ask. I don’t know what the rules are for minors but I know in general, unless you are a dnager to yourself or others or there is a sign of abuse to elders or minors or a court order or your own consent, confidential information can’t be revealed. Find out if what you are saying is confidential and if as a minor you have a right to confidentiality or not. I don’t think your situation woud qualify as mandated reporting.

Also, remember that God does love you and that while it is good to stay healthy, don’t ever think you have to throw up or refuse to eat in order to look good for other people. You wouldn’t want someone who would judge you on that basis anyways since they are probably only after one thing.

Okay I read this again, and this makes me want to write you something else again. God wants for you to be happy Why don’t you like the way you look when you look in the mirror?? In short,I want to say that the world offers a different set of values about money, success, and personal appearance. Just turn on the t.v and see the countless make-over and do-over shows for everything from you house to your appearance. Be a rebel and get with Jesus:D Look at yourself in the mirror the next time and appreciate that freckle:p on the tip of your nose (okay, I have jillion of them:D ) It is UNIQUE! It is BEAUTIFUL because there is NOBODY else like you in the WORLD! AMEN!

Hi Amy,

I am a 3rd year college student, and during my first year of college, I had a lot of issues with food. I became involved with an online group of girls who identified themselves as “pro-eating disorder,” which is a horrible, horrible concept. I want to share with you a few things, if I can:

  1. Some of those girls would post pictures, and I can ASSURE you that the VAST majority of girls who struggle with food issues are already far from overweight according to any medical criteria. And even though this next part shouldn’t be important, I know it is for teenage girls and probably factors into your issues with this, they were already what any guy would call very attractive. (I want to say right away though that I totally agree that a big part of overcoming these things is to realize that those types of things are NOT what really matter about a person/give them worth anyways.) I’d be willing to bet that you are no exception.

  2. I know teachccd doesn’t think it’s a good idea to frighten you, but fear was one of the things that personally got me to overcome my own issues. I am praying that you seek help despite your concerns about your parents (Believe me, parents’ care for your health and well-being SO far outweighs their “disappointment” that you didn’t tell them sooner that I really don’t think you should be worried about that). If you think it would help you to hear the truth about what eating disorders can do to your body, please PM me and I can share the stories of some of the girls I used to know. It is so heartbreaking, and you DON’T want to continue down this path. I’m happy to hear that you’re seeking help, and I really urge you to continue to do so. Again, if you think you need to hear what has happened to some of these girls in order to really seek the help you need, let me know.

  3. All the previous posters are SO right about beauty…It has nothing to do with the standards that are shoved down our throats. Some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen were far from “perfect” by society’s standards, but they radiated this self-confidence and individuality that made everyone around them go “wow.”

  4. Christ really can heal all wounds. Granted, sometimes we need to seek other types of help as well, as is the case here, but my point is that you should NEVER doubt God’s love for you. He told St. Faustina that His mercy was greater than the sins of the WHOLE WORLD, so there’s no way you should worry that your own issues have rendered you anything less than completely lovable to Him. If someone had seen my life several years ago and then seen where I am today, he probably wouldn’t believe it was the same person, but God’s mercy and love are SO great that he can heal ALL wounds. I heard a saying from a Muslim friend that I think is really applicable here: “If you reach out your hand to God, he reaches out His arm. If you take a walking step towards God, He runs toward you.” I think that is so true. Just seek the help you need with counseling and then reach out and trust Christ. He will provide you the grace you need to overcome any situation. Here’s a link to a video that isn’t completely about this specific issue, but I think it’s very relevant for girls like us. It starts out kind of strange/seeming a little goofy, but by the end I was sobbing the first time I saw it (then again, I dealt with lots of other social/psychiatric issues when I was a teenager besides food issues, so maybe I just identified with it more because of that…I don’t know the rest of your past so who knows if you’ll feel like I did about it). Please, though, give it a chance and try to let it speak to your heart: christianmyspacelayouts.org/christian-videos/jesus/lifehouses-everything-skit/166

God bless you for having the IMMENSE courage I know it takes to seek help confidentially, let alone to post about it here. We are all behind you 100% and want you to be happy and healthy, and to really feel God’s immense love for you! If you ever want to PM me or add me on AIM, please feel free to do so.

Love in Christ,
Jessica

Please, Amy, TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS. NEVER EVER NEVER EVER throw up food. This is a serious problem. I struggled with an eating disorder for 2 years. I lost 50 pounds in that time, all at once. Not only did I screw up my metabolisn, but now I am overweight as a result, and on top of it all I caused amenorrhea so bad that I have to take birth control pills just to have a semi-normal life. I know it may seem harmless now, or just a small issue, but this isn’t good. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE trust me and go in. It’s not worth it. It’s been 4 years since I had the problem, and I still have serious problems. Talk to someone about it. anyone. it’s not worth it.

If you have any questions, or want to talk about this, PLEASE private message me. I would really like to talk to you.

((((((((Amy))))))) Honey, talk to your parents. They love you. They will want to help you. There is nothing you can ever do that will make a parent stop loving you.

Ditto that for God.

Kim

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