I am going to miss mass


So my parents are planning a trip to the lake that will take up the entire weekend. There is no chance of getting to mass on Sunday or Saturday evening and I can’t get out of the trip.

I understand that if it is impossible, then no sin is committed. But I am worried. I guess I can sometimes tend towards scrupulous…and I worry about things, like not trying hard enough, for instance. The closest Catholic church to the lake is 30 miles away. This is so far that my parents wouldn’t drive me if we were sitting at home with nothing to do. Not only will everyone be busy swimming and waterskiing and watching kids, but even just the effort required to get to the shore of the lake once we are situated is extraordinary. I know there is not the slightest chance that anyone will take me there, and if I ask they will laugh at me and mock me and ask me what other special Catholic privileges I request. If I go ahead and just go and don’t ask for that sort of thing…does that make it any worse?

Also, I understand there is still an “obligation” to spend plenty of time in prayer and meditation. I will try to, but in my past experience with these lake trips - well, it’s at least 11 of us crammed into a small houseboat, almost no privacy and certainly no quiet, and in addition we are often constantly on the go. The last time I went to the lake was a time when I was letting scrupulosity run my life, trying to force myself into an hour of prayer a day lest I was going to sin and die, and even under that sort of pressure I found it difficult to scrape up 10-15 minutes. I’m going to bring my Bible so maybe I can find some time to lock myself in the bathroom and read a bit…but it is honestly so noisy and crowded and busy, I don’t know what I I’m going to do.

I guess…any advice?


I guess if you tried your best to find a Church who celebrates nearby and can’t attend the Mass, then as you said the only thing is praying, meditating, perhaps the Mass on tv or radio. If your entire family is Catholic, they should understand that you go no matter what.

Try to find a Celebration until the end :thumbsup:. you did already all you could


Please don’t worry yourself about this, it is completely out of your hands and it’s not your fault that you can’t get to Mass. You are with your parents and doing what they wish you to do. It’s simply not always possible to get to a Catholic church sometimes, when we are on vacation.

I’m going on holiday to Scandinavia in a couple of weeks, my husband and I are driving up to northern Norway. I have checked to see if there are any Catholic churches I could attend, but there aren’t. So I will read my e-Missal and try to watch a Mass online.


In addition you can use the ancient tradition of spiritual Communion. You can ask Jesus to come to you and commune with him on a spiritual level. It’s not sacramental, but it will fortify your faith and love for Christ. God bless!


Say a prayer…

then go jump in the pool and have fun with your family.


you can do better by sanctifying the moments also. doing good works is also a form of prayer: as long as you bear the Lord of the work in mind. you can go out of your way a few times to let others have their way: for the sake of God


Do your parents know how much missing mass upsets you?


Always a good idea to ask your Priest for a dispensation in advance.


You have the obligation under the 3rd Commandment to attend Mass unless you have good cause for missing, but you already know that.

You also have the obligation to honor and respect your parents under the 4th Commandment. Remember what happened when Jesus was age 12. He stayed behind in the temple to question the elders. But when his parents told him to leave he objected briefly then he gave in and obeyed.

Obviously your parents’ plans and authority over you puts you at odds with them when they intentionally do something that is not in keeping with the church. Remember, however, that they are the parents God chose for you, and He did that for a reason. My advice to you is to lead them to God by your example.

Seeing as you are under their authority, I want to point out certain scriptures where someone else who is under another’s authority is instructed in how to handle the situation:

1 Peter 2:18-21 Slaves, accept the authority of your masters with all deference, not only those who are kind and gentle but also those who are harsh. For it is a credit to you if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly. If you endure when you are beaten for doing wrong, what credit is that? But if you endure when you do right and suffer for it, you have God’s approval. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps.

1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

No I know you’re certainly not a slave. And I know you’re not a wife. I don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl.

But do you understand what I’m trying to say? When you are under someone else’s authority, your duty under God is to obey that person, and try to lead that person to Christ by the example of your own life, unless they try to make you do something that you know is wrong.

In this case they are making you NOT do something - attend Sunday mass - which is not quite the same thing as DOING something. Certainly if they brought you to a meeting of Jesus-haters and told you to spit on Jesus, you should disobey that. This is not quite on that level.

Perhaps when you get to the lake you will meet up with another family who is Catholic and IS going to Sunday mass. If so, with your parents’ permission, you might join them.


Should i talk to my priest about a dispensation for that one week or is that not necessary?


You can ask your Guardian Angel to go in your place and offer your prayers and receive prayers on your behalf. I do that as well as do the rosary or the divine mercy chaplet at the same time. If you have no place to do it at the same time spend more time before you go to bed.


Honestly, in this case, it is your parents who are sinning. You, as a minor child (and, by the looks of it, under driving age), cannot attend Mass if your parents don’t take you. A half-hour drive is not much of a hardship, even with the price of gas today, though, if unfamiliar with the territory, it can make it easy to get lost. If it makes you feel better, see if you can talk with your pastor before you go. Often times, hearing “Don’t worry about it” aloud from a person in authority will help calm your senses.


Maybe you could contact the priest at the church near the lake. Maybe he knows of a Catholic family near you and you could ride with them.

But in any case, you are doing no wrong. Just say a prayer and always remember…

God is Love.


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