I am losing my faith in the church

My brother and I were both sexually abused by the same catholic priest. My father was very forgiving and didn’t want to press charges against the priest or the church. The bishop did issue an apology and wrote my father a $10,000 dollar check and swore the Priest would never be a priest again. The priest was just moved from one church to another, and now is a priest in another state. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I am being Victimized all over again by them allowing this priest to remain a priest. What else can I do. I already tried to take the law into my own hands and ended up going to jail over it. My life is pretty much over, and I feel like I am dying a slow death from all of this. Where is my justice, and now I have to worry this could be happening to another child. I am sick over this. Please pray for me as I need all the prayers I can get.

Well… That’s a hard one because of two things, it’s like the Jews: one is afraid to say something “wrong” abou them because it was/is God’s chosen pople. The other one is that they crucified the Messiah, the only Son of God. It’s pretty much the same here. But I am not afraid to tell this: and I ask God for forgiveness if I am saying anything sinful. If this is true then this “priest” is not a “real priest” because a Priest of God would never do anything like that. Taking the law into your own hands, will give you a little feeling of revenge, then what? Jail time 10+ years? Nah. It’s hard to forgive bro I know. I don’t know what to tell you here. But talk “seriously” with the Bishop that he really should “banish” that “priest”. I will pray for you my brother in Christ, find strenght in the One person that has suffered like nobody elase ever has - Jesus Christ.

Hi, I am very sorry to hear about the experiences of you and your brother. I can only guess the difficulties you are experiencing and lasting effects of those in your daily life. It’s clear that you are reaching out because you are rightly concerned and I want you to know that you will be in my prayers as you have requested. We can only hope that the priest in question is being dealt with appropriately by the diocese he now works in. I have no advice but just want you to know that you and all of the other victims of priestly abuse are loved by the good people of the Church who are saddened and appalled by the actions of these men. I hope and pray that you will be able to come to a place of peace, the wider Church, especially from the Vatican’s end is becoming more proactive about this issue. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI defrocked a large number of abuser priests while Pope and Pope Francis’ new committee just met recently to being their work, advising the Church about how to bring about healing and to prevent these evils from happening again. Maybe it might comfort you to know that one of the people on this committee was a former victim of abuse just like you.

Take care and know that in the Catholic Church you are loved, cherished and valued.

God Bless :slight_smile:

I am so sorry you and your brother went through this. I would contact the bishop of the diocese where this priest is now, and make sure he’s aware of this; he may not have been told.

Thank you for your prayers and Kind words. God Bless
Brian

Neither did ‘the Jews’ crucify Christ…who was raised a Jew and whose Apostles were as well…but a select group who felt threatened, AND by the Romans, whose word was law.

The OP does raise a serious issue, and in some parishes abuse was covered up and priests were shuffled around. That is hard to reconcile.

You are wrong by saying this but not in sin. If this priest recieve holy orders then he is a priest for life. Even if the Bishop took away his authority he will always be a priest as his soul is changed forever by the Sacrement however he will still pay for his sins before Almighty God.

Please check out this web site: SURVIVORS NETWORK OF THOSE ABUSED BY PRIESTS

While I was not abused by a priest, I was physically abused as a child. I know what the feelings are like. There are a number of resources but I would start with SNAP.

I will be praying for your recovery. God Bless You.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Prayer for Healing for Victims of Abuse
Praise to you, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, source of all consolation and hope.
By your Son’s dying and rising He remains our light in every darkness, our strength in every weakness.
Be the refuge and guardian of all who suffer from abuse and violence.
Comfort them and send healing for their wounds of body, soul and spirit.
Rescue them from bitterness and shame and refresh them with your love.
Heal the brokenness in all victims of abuse and revive the spirits of all who lament this sin.
Help us to follow Jesus in drawing good from evil, life from death.
Make us one with you in your love for justice as we deepen our respect for the dignity of every human life.
Giver of peace, make us one in celebrating your praise, both now and for ever. Amen.

  • John F. Kinney
    Bishop of Saint Cloud, MN
    Imprimatur given May 15, 2002

“God, we pray for victims of sexual abuse. We pray for healing. We pray for deep comfort. We pray that you will restore what has been stolen and broken. While you do not alter history, you reveal your love in the present and the future. What seems hopelessly shattered, in you can be redeemed. For the many millions who have been defiled in sexual abuse, show yourself to be loving and able – as you are willing – to give back life, and life abundant. Yes, there is great pain in this world. There is injustice. There is evil. We turn to you and cry out for help and healing. We cannot help but wonder why such horrible abuse happens. But we turn from “why?” and ask instead, “how?” How now will your perfect goodness and love find expression in the shadow of wickedness? God, you are good and loving and also all powerful. Yet you have risked giving humans the right to choose how we will live. Some choose evil. For those who are victims of other’s vile deeds, we ask you for grace and healing. For those who have suffered, come to them tenderly and with overwhelming and powerful love. We join Jesus’ and borrow his words, “Be freed from your suffering…” God, Heal the victims of sexual abuse, in Jesus name.”

As you know by now Pope Francis is making this issue a top priority and he would never allow a situation like you have described to be tolerated again in this Church. Please seek the advice of your parish priest and try very hard to believe that in the Church today people such as yourself deserve immediate and appropriate attention. As for the abusing priest, there have been some situations where priests were removed from their positions and banished from ever working around children again. This priest may have been moved to fulfill other positions away from children but allowed to remain a priest. The worries you have about him and children may not need to be in your heart, you deserve to know what he is doing now. I am truly sorry for what you have been subjected to and I pray you will be able to find peace in your life. Praying that for you.

Dear Brother,

I am so sorry! Please accept our prayers and love as your brothers in Christ, your fellow Catholics. Please remember that the Church is not just the priests and bishops who wronged you. The Church is also you and me and Christ enthroned in heaven and present in body, blood , soul and divinity in the Eucharist! The Church is also the pope, and those cardinals and laity working hard to bring abuse to an end and bring justice to those guilty, and to bring comfort to those victims like yourself! The Church is also Her truth and that cannot be affected by bad clergy and hierarchy. The only true source of healing and recovery is through Jesus Christ and His Church , through his great love in the Eucharist, and confession. If it is simply too difficult to interact with anyone from the Church, that is understandable. But find pastoral counseling from someone!

I know you are hurting. I am sorry. Your comments were not clear about your age and situation. If this abuse was recent and you are still living in your fathers home, you need to talk to him and tell him that his response was not appropriate. Some parents were not helping their children by taking settlements and accepting easy agreements!

If you are an independent adult you need to press charges now! You need to ensure this person is no longer capable of hurting another child. Then you need to get pastoral and psychological help for you and your brother today!

Remember, the Church did not harm you. She cannot. The Church and the truth of Her teachings and sacraments are from Christ. Only Her sinful members have harmed you. You need to find healing in Christ, and by good laity in the psychological field. If you are an adult, only you now can take the action necessary for your healing. Letting Satan damage your faith will not help you. If you are still a dependent living with your family, your first step is to talk to your parents!

I wish there was something I could do to help. Again, I am so sorry! I am praying for your peace, for you faith. Remember the Church is also your brothers and sisters all around the world, and responding to you here! God bless you!

Contact the Bishop in the Diocese that priest is currently subject to, the whole policy on this has been changed by Pope Benedict XVI. Previously they were operating under a different directive. I believe that the Bishop will take immediate appropriate action and work with you. The whole procedure of handling this has changed. AdvancedChristianity.com/Pages/CBS/CBS.htm

I’m very sorry to hear this. It looks like your bishop failed to live up to his responsibilities. I think contacting the bishop where the priest currently resides, if possible with documentation from the past, would certainly be a good idea (for example, proof that the check was paid). I think refusing to press charges was probably not the best move on your father’s part - abusers ought to face justice, and ought to be prevented from abusing again, and neither one of those goals is served by trying to ignore it. If it is possible, I think opening legal proceedings now might be a good thing to do. Abusers tend not to recover very often, and if something isn’t done it seems likely that the abuse will just continue.

This failure on the part of your bishop should not be allowed to stand - unfortunately, since he is failing, it seems like the only way to fix things is for you to get involved again, which might be painful. But it is a travesty that an abuser is still serving in active ministry, and if you can, I think it would be good for you and may even ultimately bring you more peace to get this fixed

Thank you to all of you for your prayers and well wishes. I appreciate it very much. God bless you all and your families. I am working through all of this.

I am so saddened by what you went through … I can’t imagine the pain, suffering, angst that has come of it.

My prayer for you is to do whatever you feel is right. Please know I’ll be praying for you, Brian.

I’m going on a 4-day retreat and I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Blessings,
-K

I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s sad, but it seemed even with the disciples, there did seem to be at least one Judas about.

How old are you? It’s unfortunate your father didn’t press charges. That’s what needed to be done. In accepting the $10,000, I am assuming you are no longer able to press charges, due to the fact your father already accepted restitution, or is that an incorrect assumption?

If it isn’t too late I would press charges against the Priest and I would see if I could get the Bishop charged as well if I were you.

Thank you for all your prayers. My father didn’t want to sue the church or press charges because he believed the bishop would do the right thing. The money was given to my father and my father used it for my brother and I. This priest was a friend of our family, and pastor of our church. He took my brother to Disney, and taught us how to play the Piano. He was a well liked guy who had a dark secret. My father and mother separated after they found out what happened, because my mother couldn’t deal with it. I love God, but I am worried about that priest hurting other kids.

I feel compelled to object strongly to your statements about the Jews. I trust that they are a result of ignorance rather than a rejection of the true teachings of the Church.They are highly inflammatory and un-Christian. I hope you’ll take the time to read:

THE PONTIFICAL BIBLICAL COMMISSION:
THE JEWISH PEOPLE AND THEIR SACRED SCRIPTURES IN THE CHRISTIAN BIBLE
vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/pcb_documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20020212_popolo-ebraico_en.html

“The document of the Pontifical Biblical Commission stands clearly in the footsteps of the Second Vatican Council and its Declaration “Nostra aetate”, which decried all forms of anti-Judaism and laid the basis for new and positive relations between Jews and Christians”

I hope you will open your mind and heart to the teachings it contains.

The following quotes are taken from: The Jewish People and their Sacred Scriptures in the Christian Bible, Introduction By Cardinal Walter Kasper, Jerusalem, 31 October 2007

“Israel continues to be in a covenant relationship with God, because the covenant-promise is definitive and cannot be abolished” (n.42). Later on the same affirmation: “The New Testament attests that Jesus, far from being in opposition to the Israelite Scriptures, revoking them as provisional, brings them instead to fulfilment in his person, in his mission and especially in his paschal mystery” (n.65)."

“The New Testament never says that Israel has been rejected. From the earliest times, the Church considered the Jews to be important witnesses to the divine economy of salvation."

“Both, Jews and Christians, are people of the Word, a word which does not come out of ourselves, but which is given to us as light for our path (as Psalm 119:105 says), as a guide for our life and as a key for the understanding of ourselves and of all reality. In being people of the Word we encounter in each other a fundamental communality over against modern autonomous secularist thought and self–understanding. We are both listeners to the Word of God.”

“…there is one divine design which leads from Abraham, our common father in faith, to Moses and – for us – to Jesus, who was a Jew, the most famous Jew, born from a Jewish woman, Mary of Nazareth, and from there to the eschatological fulfilment, when God gathers all nations and brings about schalom, peace.”

The other one is that they crucified the Messiah, the only Son of God.

"Any interpretation of Mark’s Gospel that attempts to pin responsibility for Jesus’ death on the Jewish people, is erroneous. Such an interpretation, which has had disastrous consequences throughout history, does not correspond at all to the evangelist’s perspective… Furthermore, it is forgotten that the disciples were also part of the Jewish people. It is a question then of an improper transfer of responsibility, of the sort that is often encountered in human history. 322"

**"…the New Testament polemical texts,… have to do with concrete historical contexts and are never meant to be applied to Jews of all times and places merely because they are Jews." **

"Real anti-Jewish feeling, that is, an attitude of contempt, hostility and persecution of the Jews as Jews, is not found in any New Testament text and is incompatible with its teaching."

I was abused by a Catholic sister 44 years ago. It has had an absolutely profound effect on my life and I almost lost my faith. I still suffer from extreme anxiety, PTSD, and chronic depression. But, I have found my way back and you can too!

About 15 years ago, following an unrelated trauma, I had a breakdown. It was awful. Luckily, I had a very supportive husband. I began therapy and started to plan.

The first thing I did was to write a letter to the monsignor who worked directly with the bishop in the diocese where I lived because I had met him when he said mass at our parish. He did not reply for a year, by which time I had almost given up all hope. I put things on hold.

Once the nightmares, hallucinations and self-hatred became unbearable, I contacted the newly established office at the diocese that handled sexual abuse. I was reporting physical and emotional abuse, so I had some difficulty, but the reaction to my report this time was almost immediate. I had a phone call within 30 minutes of my email. They were kind and supportive and offered to help in any way they could.

I had also contacted the diocese in the city where this occurred. Again, I had a rapid response. They gave me the contact info I needed to get in touch with the religious order to which this sister belonged. I emailed the order that very day.

Again, I was within 1 hour. The head of the order was out of town, but they were contacting her at her meetings. One hour later she called. She was so completely and fully supportive that it became easier to tell her my story. In fact, she had been a teacher at my school the year after the sister I had left the school! She knew the nun and uncategorically accepted the truth of my accusations.

Although she was finishing her role as head of the sisters in 10 days, she immediately cancelled plans and got a plane ticket to where I lived then. She took my husband and I to lunch and let me cry, talk, get angry, etc. It was such a blessing! The most comforting thing of all was when she told me that she had added my name and the names of all of my classmates to the list of prayer intentions of the sisters. They are required to remember us in prayer every single day.

For over 5 years I had been unable to pray or attend mass. The panic attacks were far too severe. But, after this visit, very slowly, I began to heal. It took another 3 years. As of now, I have been able to attend Church nearly every Sunday for a year! I am taking bible and church history classes and rebuilding my faith. I am redefining God to match His revealed truth, rather than the obscenely vengeful and evil caricature she had taught us.

In my life I have had multiple abusers who physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. My deepest anger and the worst abuse was this sister’s abuse of my very young faith.

Try contacting the diocese where this happened. See what services they have available. They may have support groups available and that could help a lot. The order of priests might also help.

Most of all, tell yourself every day that this was not your fault. Tell yourself that your abusive priest was not acting as an instrument of God.

I still have bad days and I’m still on psych meds. But, I am continuing to improve. I know it will take me a lifetime, but I am nearer to God now and I know He waits patiently for me.

the moment One is ordained, he remains a priest forever. so ‘defrocking’ a DEVIANT priest is not as easy a impeaching a bad president. but the church (under unprecedented pressure from the United Nations) is looking into the issue of transfer of abuser priests.

but taking the laws into your hands over one man is worth NOTHING. because even if he is no more, there are still other deviants and you definitely cannot both legally and illegally bring all to justice.

get help bro. you need a real counselling session to help heal the wounds the priest caused you psychologically.

I won’t ask you to forgive him (even though I really want you to), instead I want you to remember this word of the scriptures ALL WE HAVE SINNED AND ARE CUT SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD.

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