I am shattered. What can I do now?

I’m going to be straight up and honest. Yesterday I was viewing a medical website, then I was compelled to look at photos of male genitalia. I am a guy myself (19 yo) with SSA.

I feel shattered. I feel like I am a pervert. I might have seen an image belonging to a prepubescent.

I plan on going to confession on Saturday. I think that I am truly sorry for my sins as I do not plan on doing anything like that again and I want to really try to be pure.

Please say something. What can I do? I am already in therapy for other stuff, now this.

I feel like I deserve to go to be shunned or go to prison.

Are you serious? I don’t mean to be insensitive, but you are really overreacting. Go to confession, then try to prevent it from happening again, take steps to avoid whatever circumstances led you to do it the first time. Then you’re good. You don’t need to be shunned, nor do you need to go to prison. If you find that you’re attracted to minors, then definitely seek help for that.

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You can say pray. Jesus taught you in the garden of gethsemane that when you are facing temptation to pray (he told the disciples ) and then pray more. You can pray the Divine chaplet of mercy which is a lovely way to remind you of how big God’s mercy is. Look on youtube for a guide of you haven’t prayed it before (normal rosary beads or just follow the youtube link https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+divine+chaplet+of+mercy+with+words&&view=detail&mid=F34971AD8CE043F1D22EF34971AD8CE043F1D22E&&FORM=VRDGAR ) and today is St Faustina’s feast day too. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you have realised what you have done, you are sorry and you have a sincere desire for amendment. So start with some praying! Jesus is waiting to hear from you. God bless

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If you were viewing images of the naked human body for the purposes of studying medicine then this is totally different to viewing images for the purposes of sexual arousal. Just because the image of the person may have been a child does not make it wrong. After all how else are doctors or those studying to be doctors to learn about medicine for children, paediatrics I believe, to learn if they don’t view images say online or in textbooks?

Police officers in child protection have to view images, sadly some of children. But their motive for doing so is to achieve justice for children and not to participate in abuse. It’s the same here. Your intentions and motives are what counts. Be at peace. If you were genuinely just viewing images for medical reasons then you have done nothing wrong.

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Contact Courage, an approved Catholic Apostolate for helping people with same sex attraction.

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If you have the web address, show it to your therapist. If this really is a medical site, I think you need to talk to someone you know about why you are so upset. I would hold off on confession until you have sorted out whether or not you even did anything wrong. It is highly likely you didn’t. (Prison? No, you should not go to prison.)

Take up your cross and follow Christ. That’s all any of us can do.

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Go to Confession and remember once you’ve been truly sorry, truly repentant, ask forgiveness and been forgiven in Confession God will have forgotten that sin. God doesn’t keep a list. Remember God’s mercy is endless and if we try to limit God’s Mercy then we are not seeing God as he truly is. You “fell” we all fall. A Saint is a sinner who doesn’t quit.

Talk to you therapist and pastor/spiritual director.

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What do you mean, you were compelled? Were you forced to do so? Look, we men, we’re visual. So guard your eyes! For me it’s women, so I avoid porn like the plague. The absolute last thing in the world I need to do is throw gas on that fire. Go to confession, forgive yourself, ask God to cleanse you, but also, turn this circumstance into a unyielding inner resolve to be smart by never throwing gas on that fire within. Sexual temptation through the visual is a battle for every man, SSA or not.

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Experiencing SSA is a heavy cross indeed. However your sexuality doesn’t define you. You are many things. You are free to act, or not on attractions, sexual desires etc. You don’t need to be sexually active to be happy and fulfilled in life.

Thank God for giving you this gift. It sure is a heavy cross but He WILL give you the grace and strength to carry it if you ask Him. Offer Him your pain, self denial and struggles out of love for Him. Offer Him your purity. Ask Him to make you a pure temple where He can dwell. So few offer the Lord this.

God bless you.

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Don’t worry about it, brother. God’s forgiveness is always open and He is willing to forgive any sin. Don’t listen to the devil when he says that your sin is so bad that God will never forgive you. The devil is a liar. God is always near, you just have to come before him with a broken spirit and He will forgive you. :slight_smile:

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One thing you can do is block the website so you can’t view it again.

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Do you mean that you saw this on a medical website, or that a medical website made you want to look at pornography or something?

Doctors look at people’s genitalia all the time. It’s part of their job. Honestly people of the same sex used to swim naked together all the time. Nude public swimming in single-sex environments was done in the U.S. in public places like the YWCA and High Schools into the 1960s. I’d say that at a certain point social norms are morally binding, so don’t strip naked in front of a bunch of little boys (and you can go to prison for that nowadays anyway), but it’s clearly not inherently wrong if it’s not done lewdly. So if this was actually in a medical or educational context then I think your guilt is misplaced. If you understand that intellectually but it is still tormenting you then maybe you should talk to a spiritual director.

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Chillll man, relax!!!

You’re like ready to crucify yourself over this… Yes technically it is a serious sin, but it’s not some heinous crime you committed…

Pray for forgiveness then confess it and receive absolution.

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If it is a legitimate medical website and the images are for medical purposes, and are not pornographic, and the OP didn’t go to the website in search of sexual titillation, then I wouldn’t think that it’s a sin at all.

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