I might as well as introduce myself since I’m new here – like the AA style testimony… “Hello, my name is Michael (not Mike) and I am a cradle Catholic. lol
In any case, I wanted to check this place out because I am learning more about my faith all the time. And because I have a lot of questions. AND because I’m sort of in a bad way myself.
You see, I’m married to a wonderful woman and I love her very much. But when we were married, I wasn’t serious about being a Catholic. I wasn’t really serious about God at all in fact. She kind of inspired me to re-connect with my faith because she had such an admirable and wonderful faith-life herself. And her family (parents) are really great people and very devoted Christians (Baptists.)
I didn’t really care that she was a Protestant when we got married. And she didn’t care that I was a Catholic either. But, I sort of think (now) that my “not caring” was very different from hers. I didn’t care that she was a Protestant because I pretty much thought that all Christians were the same. I think she didn’t care that I was a Catholic because I didn’t really ACT like a Catholic, or seem to care about BEING a Catholic (never went to Mass, openly questioned Church teaching, and made jokes about the Pope and stuff.) So, in my mind – I thought it was great that she WAS a sincere and devout Protestant-Christian. In her mind – she thought it was great that I WASN’T a Catholic by anything but heredity.
We got married in a civil ceremony (justice of the peace) and later had a “church” wedding at a Baptist (now it’s a nondenominational) church. Now we’ve been married for a few years and things are going fairly good. EXCEPT that I’ve reconnected to my Catholic faith!
I sort of thought she would be excited about it – like, while I was growing spiritually and learning (or re-learning) a lot about the Catholic Church, I sort of thought she would grow along with me or at least be somewhat interested, but she is pretty far from it. I guess I was naive to think the differences between Catholicism and Protestantism don’t matter that much – because they do. My wife refuses to discuss having our marriage validated, she doesn’t trust me, we can’t talk about anything spiritual in nature (and it’s pretty much ALL I want to talk about, so that’s pretty hard!) and we get angry with each other all the time, especially on Sundays.
I’m trying to be patient, trying to talk to her so she doesn’t feel like I’m attacking her faith, and trying not to “force” the issue, but I feel much neglected. I go to Mass, but I’ve separated myself from the Sacraments and it feels lonely. And now that I have an appreciation for the Eucharist, it’s so hard to even GO to Mass anymore! Because I don’t know if I’ll ever be in communion with the Church again! I used to encourage her to go to her Baptist services and I would always go with her… but the more I go, the more I feel like I’m condoning or approving of what that church teaches, so I’m not as “encouraging” as I used to be. And sometimes, I just want to smack the minister there! He always takes cheap shots at the Catholic Church, at least once every service. Some of them are worse than others, like, some are sort of “jokes” while others are seriously offensive and outright lies. It seems like most people don’t even realize it though, even my wife! If I try to point it out to my wife afterwards, we just get in huge fights, even though at least a couple of times she admitted that the minister was out of line a little.
Now, I don’t want to beg her to help me or anything, but I really feel stuck. I’ve tried to illustrate to her that I am in a state of mortal sin and without her help I am kind of powerless to get back on track and get myself “right” with God. She doesn’t believe in mortal sin though and doesn’t see why her refusal to have our marriage validated should keep me from practicing in my Church. And she doesn’t seem to care that my soul could very well be in danger (it certainly is) because she believes you can’t lose your salvation.