I wanted to thank you all for your responses. I had no idea what my thread would cause. I am sorry that some of you well meaning people got into arguments with eachother. I took the time and read every single reply. Some of them made me angry, and some of them made me cry. I decided to pray on it. and you know what? I realized why I was angry. because it is TRUTH. When I tell my 3 yr old son he can not climb on the counter because he will hurt himself he gets angry and cries and my answer to him is because I am your mommy and I know what is best for you. and I realized so does God. Some of the remarks of me going to hell or not acting Catholic etc upset me beacuse it was true. and sometimes u need to get angry to realize things. I also was quick at first to defend myself ( my initial reaction when I was reading them ) and realized I am defending it because I believe in it.
Also, I spoke with someone from the church I visited and they told em I could no longer pray prey the Rosary because it is just repition, i think useless repeition was the term used but i am not 100% correct, and I was flabbergasted because the Rosary is one of the strongest prayers against the Devil. I was also told that Jesus “paid it foward” on the cross so we are all going to heaven anyway…doesnt that give a free pass to do whatever you want if your gaurenteed a spot anyway? that would mean Hitler is sitting next to Mother Theresa.
Lastly, while praying the Rosary night before last I heard a small voice saying my name. I thought it was my son but then I knew it was now. It very distinctly told me it was not His will for me to leave the church and that Satan under the guile of other religions still " adoring Jesus" had led meany well meaning people away, but that He was the one true church and that it was His will that I suffer like this and that His reason for my suffering would be understood at a later time. I started crying and asked for forgivness. He told me to go to confession and sin no more. My fiance has agreed to wait for sex. and I feel 100000000 times better!!!
Thank you so much for all your support and prayers. I was so lost and was led to this board and really really am greatful for all your responses.
God Bless all of you!