I am very confused and scared now


#1

My neighbor dumped her 5 month old infant in my arms this morning all teary eyed with a bag of stuff and told me she “cant do it anymore” her husband knows she did this she says, and he does not get home from work until 7-8 pm usually and I dont know his work number. I have a suspicion the baby is Colicy, and I dont know what to do about this, I am home all day for the week and she knew that. On top of my child (toddler) I dont know if I am prepared for this.

My spouse is really angry about this. There are legal risks to our family too, and I dont have “medical release” or anything from her, she took off and gave me no phone number.

Pray for this baby, and me, and well,the Mom most of all, I might not get to check the responses as the baby is top priority now. I am working on getting help now, there are some kids home on break I know that can come over if I pay them enough I think they might anyway.


#2

I would consider calling social services and telling them exactly what happened. This is such a sad situation for that baby :frowning:


#3

You absolutely have my prayers! You’ve been put into a difficult position. I pray this baby is easy on you…sleeps a lot so this won’t be too stressful for you.

Do you have ANY idea where her husband works?
My first call would be to get him to come for his baby.

On the positive side, if the mother is having such a difficult time, thanks be to God, she walked away instead of hurting the baby.


#4

finally- baby is sleeping. so cute. if I call social services the dad might loose out on the child - what if they take the baby away from him?

I dont know what to do since I dont know how to contact him.
I left messages on another neighbors answering machine asking if they know it.

Here she goes again! Blood curdling screams all day.

Later-


#5

Oh dear… Is there ANY family member that you can get a hold of???

If after a few hours the mother doesn’t come back and the father or another family member is not contacted, I think you need to contact family services and explain the situation to them.

Bless you for taking care of the baby.


#6

Have you talked to the mother about any potential medical concerns?
“Blood curdling screams all day” isn’t that normal at 5 months. Colicky symptoms are usually (of course there are always exceptions) over around 3-4 months…
Could it be acid reflux?
Has her diet changed? (ie switch from BF’ing to formula… may be allergic to formula???)

I’d try to find out who the baby’s pediatrician is. Maybe help the mom out so she can get a good nap in every day. Suggest she sees her own doctor regarding Post Partum Depression…

Good luck… and God bless.


#7

She gave me powdered Similac. She gave me a ton of bottles and I will assume she has been on this stuff for a while, but I put a call in to my little ones pediatrician and am waiting for a nurse to call me back, she is really a screamer, maybe she misses mommy? She took 2 ten minute naps and After I gave her a bottle 3 minutes ago, I burped her and she got sleepy and is asleep again now. I am going to wash her bottles out now- she has gone through 2 already nearly 4 0z each time, over a nearly 6 hour period. I tried to get her to take one right when she got here but she must have already been fed. She drinks really fast. And so far she poops a lot too. Poo is loose but okay, a touch greeny but she is sooo cute! I almost want to keep her myself! :o She looks really content now. Ohh, I am keeping track of bottles and diapers, so far 6 diapers 4 poopy 2 wet (well that was the one she came in) Should I take her temp? She feels fine but in case the doctor wants to know?

In the bag was gas drops and nail clippers and her nails are a bit long but I was afraid to attempt it with her since she is so irritable when she is awake.

I am gonna try holding her all day once she wakes up and wait for her father to come get her.


#8

First of all, you may have just saved that child’s life, or the mother’s or both, so please say a prayer of thanks that you were there when she most needed help. Secondly, I’d put a call into catholic social services and just ask about counselors for PPD etc. Not giving names, or telling what happened, but asking on behalf of a friend who seems to be struggling…then you’ll have that info later at hand when you need to show them there is help out there…

I definitely think you need to call someone, but I don’t know that child services is the way to go – not just yet, anyway. I think you might wait (i know, i know, but you can offer it up and think perhaps you are saving a life here, if not, definitely saving some sanity for her) until the dad comes home. She might also have blown it out of proportion – in other words, said “honey, I can’t take it anymore!!!” and he said “see if Jane can take her for the afternoon” and in her emotional state, she didn’t transfer any of that to you, kwim? Give them the benefit of the doubt for a few hours, and know that you can survive this, but perhaps she could not. When the dad comes home, meet with him with your husband present – ask if there’s anyone you can call and set up counseling with, etc. or if she needs a ride to the hospital to get checked out, etc…making it clear that you care, but are not going to be her “dump the baby” lady. – That would be my approach, but we live in a society where it’s common to do this (in a much more appropriate way, of course…with some planning and forethought and agreements, etc., but I guess one more isn’t a big deal to me for a few hours – I remember when it was, tho…don’t think I don’t;) – but you will be ok. How would you handle it if she came to the door bleeding and said “I have to go to the emergency room, I just sliced my thumb cutting carrots, can you take her until DH gets home tonight!!!” – you CAN do this, and that baby NEEDS you to do this…social services is a thought, but boy does that open a whole can of worms (foster care, etc) that might not need to be opened, kwim? Yes, something is seriously wrong, but it does not mean that she’s unfit to parent; it could be as simple as what I suggested above, or it could be severe post partum depression; but just be careful how you bring in the help – she might just need to take some time and see the light – with the help of a professional and perhaps medication – I don’t know your neighbor, so I can’t say what I’d do, but just reading this, that’s my feeling on it…


#9

Please PM me the dad’s name city and state where they live. Also the moms name. I can skip trace them from my job and we might be able to find out where the dad works. PM me right away and there is a chance I can find him. The first call should be made to the dad not social services or the police. Don’t take her word for it that he knows about this.


#10

Praying.


#11

Wow, I will add my prayers for you and this precious baby. Hang in there! This is most inconvenient and upsetting I’m sure, but maybe God is doing a little work here. If the mother was teary eyed, she may be suffering Post partum depression (or worse, psychosis). If she was upset enough to “dump” her child off on you then who knows what she might have done if you had not been there to take the child. When her husband comes to get the baby, I would ask him if his wife is getting help from her OB-Gyn or someone else. If not, he needs to take charge and get her the help she needs. I would also ask at least where he works so you can get in touch with him should this happen again. ( I pray that it doesn’t, but it would be good to be prepared). If her husband does not show up tonight, definitely call social services. The family needs help.

Now, about the baby. I know that Similac with Iron is not tolerated well by some babies. I would think that all this would have been discussed with the pediatrician. But it is worth mentioning to the husband. Also, colicky babies are sometimes soothed by those bouncy seats like this one. That might be worth a suggestion.

God Bless You! You are showing true love for your neighbor right now. I will be praying for you and for this family.

Oh, I just thought of something else, did you check with other neighbors to see if they know where the husband works? If not, I’d check with a few people and see if you can figure out where he is. Husband may or may not know that you have the baby. It is possible too that he may have been led to believe you volunteered to babysit.


#12

You are truly doing a very good thing right now by caring for this baby. I know the circumstances surrounding this are not good but could have been alot worse.
I hope the mother just needs some time to herself and will come back for her baby. Any luck in getting ahold of the dad yet?
I will say some prayers that everything turns out ok. Hang in there! You’re doing a great job! :thumbsup:


#13

That’s true. She might have told him she needs a break and is taking baby over to your place. He would know his wife has been going through a tough time and is glad to hear you are taking care of little one. He probably doesn’t know the details of her just dropping off w/o notice or emergency info. If he knew how bad it was, I’m sure he’d be there…or searching for his wife. He may not even have your # to check what’s happening.

Continuing to pray about this situtation.
I’m thankful you’re able to help even under these circumstances.


#14

Update: baby is with her dad now, sounds as if she (baby)is severly traumatized after speaking to the nurse who eventually called. The nurse found out her info somehow by asking me her name and parents names and address. Turns out this little girl goes to the same pediatric office mine does. (different doctor) so, they contacted daddy who needed time to finish something at work and then get the train here and walk to my house. He was in tears. He kept apologizing and I felt so sorry for him. He said he did not know she was so upset and overwhelmed. He said she told him that she was taking a breather and that I would take over for a few hours. He has not gotten a call from her and wont pick up her cell phone. He suspects she is at a friends house and he looks really tierd. My toddler begged him to let her stay with us, and cried when they left. I am really tierd myself now.

I told him I would help in any way I could and asked him if he would be able to handle all this, and he assured me he was fine. He seemed so embarrased.

I am going to take it easy now. Whew. That was a lot of work.

Its 4:50. They have been gone almost an hour now. It was a long day.

Hey, Ignatious- thanks for the offer of help! Sorry I was too busy to check in.

Thanks everyone who calmed me down and prayed for this baby and her family!


#15

Thanks for the update, Damascus. I think we were all worried about you, the baby, and the mom today.


#16

I wonder if I am doing the right thing, should I be doing more to help the guy?

I will take any advice at this point.


#17

I think you did help a lot today. Above and beyond the call. And you can certainly call and offer more help, if you feel you have the stamina!:slight_smile: :thumbsup:


#18

Thanks be to God that the father could be tracked down. If the wife doesn’t come home in the next few hours just check up again on the father.

And perhaps suggest some counselling to both of them for the future. I wouldn’t necessarily take his word for it that they’re fine - he obviously wasn’t aware of how stressed out his wife was!


#19

You did great Damascus! :thumbsup: Something could’ve happened to the baby if you hadn’t been there when the mom dropped her off.

I don’t know if you could do anything else for this man. Maybe just check on him and see how he’s doing. These kind of things are traumatic, maybe he needs someone to talk to, maybe not.

Maybe dropping by his home and leaving him some food? I’d love that if I were him.

BTW, you are an angel! This family will be so grateful to you!


#20

I would certainly get the dad’s work and cell numbers just in case, and perhaps ask the mom to come over as often as you can at times you are off so she has some adult interaction and you as a bit of a crutch without completely dumping the baby on you and running. Sounds like she is going to need some counseling and medication for a while to get stabilized again, but should be ok with some good support.


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