I can’t find a boyfriend!


I’m 20 years old and at a point in my life where I feel a strong desire of having a special someone, the problem is that I can’t find a Catholic boyfriend anywhere and it’s funny I guess because I live in a namely “catholic country”. I go to mass every week at my local parish and there aren’t available guys, I’m currently studying at university and some of my colleagues are catholics but not practicing and are very very liberal, just like the majority of catholic people here (sex before marriage and living together have become ordinary and I don’t agree with any of this). I’ve been single for four years now, things with my ex boyfriend did not end up well because I wanted to stay a virgin and he was an atheist and didn’t understand, so I made a point to only date someone who is strictly religious as I am and started refusing guys interested in me but that were not religious. What should I do?


Wait - you are very young and I am sure God will find you a partner. But don’t compromise your principles.


You’re not going to like my answer, but: be patient! You’re very young, you have plenty of time to find people. At your age I would suggest just get to know people as friends. If there are any Catholic groups, go to them and see who you meet.

Relax and remember to have fun!


You shouldn’t be too focused or obsessed to find a “boyfriend” right now, as it is your due.

Because of what you said, you seems want a husband, not a boyfriend, for a boyfriend.
In that’s perspective, it could be good, but not an absolute requierement to be “ready” for marriage.

I suggest you to go out, frequent catholic circles of young people, because your chances to met a catholic man just by going to university or mass are very low. Make friends, and let you open to watch carefully if this man that can interested you, if you met one. And think also of your news male friends.

With a lot of encounters, and the friends of friends etc, and dig some friendships, your persceptives will be opened.

And be aware: been a practicing catholic, even a devout one, does not guarantee that this person is willing to wait until marriage, or you are compatible on many essential subjects for marriage. there is a lot of diversity among people of the same faith, that you need to known the person well to find if this can be possible. No prejudice, and don’t go into a love relationship too quickly.


What country are you from?


It’s a lot more likely that someone of the same faith will be compatible.

Depends. You can meet someone and get to know each other well enough in a few months.
I proposed to my wife after less than a year of dating.
There’s no hard and fast rule.


Daily Mass, daily Rosary.

“Lord, Please hold me in Your Arms, forgive me my sins, and make me the way You want me to be.”


Hi, i’m from Italy


Your quite young, so give it time. The one thing I can say with certainty is do not compromise your princples for anyone; hold on to what you know to be true - the Faith. I say this from experience.


Thank you for your reply. Yes you are right, I have to wait and be patient and trust God’s plan for me.


Thank you so much for the reply. You are right, I would totally regret getting away from the faith for a boyfriend.


It is perhaps not the thing to said, but in Italy the age of marriage is high… So you have some time…


I think most Catholic countries are the same regarding dating.

My wife was part of the very small Catholic community in Latvia. She has many stories about friends of her’s meeting guys at church events and finding that they just want sex or that they don’t care about Church teaching.

It takes time to find the right person.

It might be worth looking at the likes of Catholic Match or Ave Maria Singles. Or even making a connection on this site. A few of us, me included, met our spouses here.


Online dating at good sites, such as Catholic Match and Ave Maria, even EHarmony, really helps to narrow it down and cut through all the nonsense. I mean, mostly. :blush: it has a search engine and people state up front exactly what they’re looking for. I refused to meet people any other way, unless it was through a friend, because it really is a jungle out there, and the average guy is sort of slimy. Sorry, men.


I’m always interested in hearing about how others have met their spouses/partners. :slight_smile:

It seems that many people have met their spouses at work, school, on-line or through friends.

My parents met in college, and my in-laws met through friends.

I met my husband through mutual friends that we had, but we had just never met until we were introduced to each other.


I met my wife on Catholic Match.

Coincidentally, that’s also how she met me. :wink:

Anything to narrow the pool of people, be it Church, a Catholic dating site, or a recommendation from a friend who knows your values, is helpful.


I did not know about Ave Maria, I’m gonna think about trying it, thank you so much


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