[quote="LemonAndLime, post:13, topic:223620"]
I'm a she :p and yes, she was abusive in the past. Things came to a head and she kicked me out of the house repeatedly just before my end-of-year exams. The school got involved, but mum refused to take me back even though the school told her I would have to declare myself homeless. That never happened, I had to live with friends for a while though. I struggle now with mental health issues I attribute to my teenage years while I lived at home.
So ANYWAY, respecting my mum is out of the question. Loving my mother is difficult as it is - I do, and I do like to phone my mum when I'm away and talk to her. Forgiveness is something I'm struggling with too. Am I meant to forgive her for everything too?
So I don't have to respect my mother, so by loving her I have to recognise her as my mother and to honor her for raising me, etc etc. But surely respect comes into that as well?
Reading your OP and this thread I was very concerned for you and for your father, being stuck with an almost impossible situation. As the ex-husband of a domineering wife I can well understand how, little-by-little, he has allowed her to rule the house with temper and abuse, for he will have learnt that any resistance will only bring more abuse, and also more work for him, when he is already overloaded. Fortunately for me, my ex-wife had an affair, and then left me - and it was only then that my eyes were opened to the intolerable state that home life had become.
My concern for you is that you may suffer mental health issues from this for a long time, and it may undermine your education, self-esteem, and relationships. Because of losing your home, you may be vulnerable and insecure. So, I think that your number one concern right now is yourself - your mental health, your education, and your own start in life.
I give thanks that you are in RCIA! :thumbsup: The Catholic faith does not solve all of life's problems immediately, but it does give the best foundation for a happy, sane life.
Your mother mocking you for disrespecting her, while you are becoming a Catholic, is almost too much for you too bear - it's as if she has found your weakest spot, and torn it open. That is going to make it even harder to respect her than it was before.
You are not going to be able to solve these problems quickly, especially the particular one you raised (of respecting your mother), so my advice is that you find a way to live with them, while getting on with your own life. These issues are going to take time, prayer and counselling, so you need to allocate a space for this process, while ensuring that it does not take over. If you have hateful or vengeful thoughts, tell them to God, and then let go of them. Pray for your mother, rather than think about her, and keep talking to God about it. Also pray for your father - he needs it!
Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken Psalm 55:22