Ever since I have started to take my faith seriously in September, I have always had to go to confession every week, and yes I have scrupulosity and OCD, but I am very serious when I say I haven’t been able to go an entire week without confession, I pray the rosary every day, but I still seriously struggle with honoring my mother and father and temptations to sins of lust and gluttony and these are serious mortal sins that I’m talking about, I don’t want to go into detail, I really want to be able to go a week (even more) without having to go to confession! I really need some help and advice, prayers are highly appreciated as well.
If there is self-related lust at work here, it may help to read this C.S. Lewis quote regarding “imaginary brides”:
For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.
And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.
For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.
Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.
In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”
- Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3)Courtesy of Matt Fradd’s blog.
I returned to the church after a 20 year absence and while I was gone I probably committed a mortal sin daily. The biggest ways I stopped mortal sin was
A) go to daily mass
B) find a group of Catholics that want to better them selves and hang out with them
C) be patent all things are possible with God
Praying for you.
Never grow tired of going to confession.
As Pope Francis said, and I paraphrase- God never grows tired of forgiving you, it is us who grow tired of asking forgiveness.
It seems you are truly repentant, so keep fighting the good fight!
Place your trust in The Lord and He will help you carry your cross.
Keep praying and always go to confession. God is always willing to forgive us no matter how grave our sins are.
First, welcome to life in a fallen world. We have no hope in not sinning, safe for that
which God gives us the strength to bear. Good news though, Jesus did it all so that
but relying on his righteousness, we can be saved.
We are so naturally inclined to sin, unfortunately, there’s
little we can do to stop, but the Scriptures has a word to
say on the matter:
For a just man shall fall seven times and
shall rise again: but the wicked shall fall
down into evil.
– (Proverbs 24:16)
Just keep at praying the Rosary, Confession weekly is very good, but
not necessary, unless you want to partake of the Eucharist regularly.
Just keep at it, your broken spirit is pleasing in God’s sight.
Also, one priest from one confession gave me a Scripture to meditate on:
2 Corinthians, Chapter 12
I would like to begin by acknowledging that masturbation is a serious sin. I am in no way denying that it is a result of the devil’s temptation.
I would like to offer a slightly different standpoint than the ones mentioned above. Several studies have shown that compulsive masturbation is usually the result of a deeper psychological issue. My advice to you would be to seek the help of a psychologist. Do not see a psychiatrist first since a psychiatrist is most likely to medicate you which will not solve the issue, it will simply cover it up. A good psychologist will, after several hours of testing and interviewing, find issues you were not aware of. Another tip would be to seek the consultation of a counselor or psychotherapist. Psychotherapy, although a slow-moving process, is extremely rewarding in that you not only find out things about yourself you were never aware of but you also come to see trends in behavioral or thought patterns which could help you address the issue of masturbation.
From a more religious standpoint, daily mass and a daily rosary are great tools against masturbation.
I would like to end with the idea that going to confession once a week is not necessarily a bad thing. Many great saints went to confession more often than once a week.
I hope this is helpful and I will pray for you.
God bless you.
These are tough issues. I do not have much hope to spread. Somedays I even question the divinity of Jesus. Anyways. I am going to pray directly to Jesus right now for you!!! Because it is all I can think of to do.
Because it is 4:30 in the morning, I am not sleeping well, and am on my laptop, I am a single male and you know were this could lead.
This is one struggling man praying for a another. One Catholic man who is currently hanging on to Jesus and this “very interesting and Mysterious” “Catholic thing” with only a thread of hope.
Praying for you. Also praying for the Millions of People who struggle with lust and purity issues. Some facts to support that you are NOT alone in your struggle that I just read, about 1 in 6 internet searches are “sexual”, %20 of all internet websites are pornographic of some sort.
You and I may feel alone, but we are not.
Have been attending Mass and (Other Christian services). I have not been receiving holy communion (because the priest will not give me absolution until I at least will to try to quit the Porn and Masterbation). I am thinking of actual going to confession today. Please say one prayer I will make it through the next 24 hours.
I have been attending AA and Celebrate Recovery. In AA and CR occasionally I bring up how blessed I am to have been raised Catholic. Because I am able to talk or confess with a Priest.
Again I am considering actually making a good confession today. (Although this still might not be possible)( Because I abuse cigarettes ( helps with the Porn/Masterbation. Another piece stopping me from confession with a priest is ( turning my entire will over to Gods care). Maybe the priest will let me slide a little.
Tried many anti-depressents, and tranquilizer drugs from the Physcologist, and some of the do help with the sex drive. I rationalize smoking cigarettes and physcosis drugs because maybe god allows me to use the substances to battle the (at last count 25 million porn sites and about %15 of search engine request are pornographic.
Sounds like you’re trying your best to beat your porn/masturbation addiction. Good for you! Don’t give up; take it hour by hour if you can’t make it one day. Celebrate however long you can resist the temptation and resolve to make that period a little longer the next time around. Because, as an addict, you know recovery takes more than one try.
Check out Matt Fradd’s work on porn addiction. I believe there’s a link to his work somewhere on Catholic Answers. It’s amazing how porn literally changes your brain. Once you understand the nature of the porn addiction, you have a chance to battle it more effectively. It won’t be easy but easier.
You admit something in your post that I’m not sure you’re aware of: “Another piece stopping me from confession with a priest is ( turning my entire will over to Gods care).” Do you recognize that your porn addiction has taken over your will already? Check out Matt Fradd’s description of how porn addiction takes over an addict’s life; it’s eye opening.
God Bless you and give you additional strength to fight this addiction. With God in your corner, you can’t NOT win!
From the Compendium of the Catechism:
One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent.
You mean to say that you deliberately consent to dishonoring your mother and father at least once a week. In other words, you decide to dishonor your mother and father (not just that you have a stray, random thought that is dishonorable or that you spout off at them as a matter of habit).
You mean to say that you deliberately consent to lust. That you deliberately consent to gluttony
I’m not saying that any of the above are not serious issues, but in order for them to be mortal sins, you must have deliberate consent.
This is really important to understand, as the devil will undoubtedly want to talk you out of your relationship with God. He wants to have you walk around discouraged and beaten.
The point being that, unless you have, in fact, committed a mortal sin (i.e., something was actually grave matter, you knew it was grave matter, and you deliberately consented to doing (or not doing) it), your relationship with God is not broken.
These are bad habits that result from you being fallen. We are all subject to the capital vices (pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth). And it is possible, with the help of God, to defeat them.,through the application of their contrary virtues.
To overcome tendencies of lust, you focus on the virtue of chastity (aided by the virtues of modesty and purity). There are things you can do to focus on these virtues. For example:
*]Obviously, you want to pray for God to strengthen you in these areas. You should do that every day one way or other other.
*]You can consider the television you watch and the music you listen to. Are you watching/listening to media that focus on the flesh rather than on spiritual? If so, you may wish to consider looking at / listening to something else…at least for a while.
*]Likewise with what you read…are they focused on earthly or spiritual things. Spiritual readings (such as St Augustine’s Confessions or St John of the Cross’ Ascent of Mt Carmel) are good books to study and meditate upon.
*]Where are you placing yourself? For example, I avoid going to the beach or public swimming pools as both put me in the near occasion of sin (When I am asked about it, I say “there’s nothing good for me there”). If there are particular places that you go that are occasions of lust, you may wish to avoid those places (if possible) at least for a time.
*]If you must be in a place where you are presented with near occasions of sin (for example, school or work), then recognize the danger and have a strategy to deal with it. For example, with the advent of yoga pants as a socially-acceptable work fashion for women, it is impossible to avoid some situations at work. If I catch myself staring, I, upon realizing my eyes are going someplace they shouldn’t, say a silent prayer for God to bless the woman’s day. I find it very, very difficult to look at a woman as a sex object while praying for her.
Those seem to have worked fairly well for me, but you may find a different program of action will work better for you. The important thing is that you should concentrate on applying the virtues, as the virtues will overcome the vices.
You say that the 4th commandment is an issue for you: again, you can see what you can do to act virtuously and make deliberate efforts to do so. Likewise with gluttony: intentionally discipline yourself to push back from the table when you are barely satisfied.
The biggest thing is to not beat yourself up over things that are vices; rather, to work to overcome them with the virtues.
This is the method that was advocated by St Paul.
From the Epistle to the Ephesians, Chapter 4:
 If so be that you have heard him, and have been taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus:  To put off, according to former conversation, the old man, who is corrupted according to the desire of error.  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind:  And put on the new man, who according to God is created in justice and holiness of truth.  Wherefore putting away lying, speak; ye the truth every man with his neighbour; for we are members one of another.
 Be angry, and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your anger.  Give not place to the devil.  He that stole, let him now steal no more; but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have something to give to him that suffereth need.  Let no evil speech proceed from your mouth; but that which is good, to the edification of faith, that it may administer grace to the hearers.  And grieve not the holy Spirit of God: whereby you are sealed unto the day of redemption.
 Let all bitterness, and anger, and indignation, and clamour, and blasphemy, be put away from you, with all malice.  And be ye kind one to another; merciful, forgiving one another, even as God hath forgiven you in Christ.
I also went through the same scrupulosity…I was thinking everything was evil when I got back to the faith…I think someone who’s really serious about his faith is really cautious of sin and offending God. I still have some scrupulosity but it lessened now the more I grow in faith.
I will not generalize that it’s normal for all…but for me I did went through what you are going through. What helped me is listening to my spiritual director, masses, confession, community and spiritual readings.
Don’t give up…A christian must move forward- Pope Francis
Please find a mature and emotionally stable priest to confess to regularly and to become your spiritual director. I will pray for you at Mass today that you may have some release from this tyranny you live under. God bless you.
He is deliberately masturbating and deliberately eating too much. He may not be deliberately lusting and tempted for food, but no one is putting a gun up to his head and forcing him to masturbate.
I have problems with lust and dishonouring my parents and lying. The first two are always going to be a problems for a teenager like me but I always forget to honour my parents and I can’t resist the temptation to masturbate. I can’t go a week without committing mortals sins either, OP. I can only go a couple of days without masturbating. It became a habit before I knew it was wrong(I was a Catholic I just hadn’t realised it was wrong) and now I just can’t stop. I’ll pray for both of us OP.
Hi… .I’m also guilty of lust… Thus, I go to confession every week… i try to go to daily mass… but most days I can’t receive Holy Communion since I’m guilty of mortal sin and confessions take place on weekends.
My advice for you is to pray the rosary daily… Also try to attend daily mass… or at least watch the daily mass on EWTN.
God be with you
The OP did not mention masturbation. He said lust. You should not read in to the post.
And it is also an assumption whether the OP decided to commit gluttony or whether (for example) he just couldn’t bring himself to push back from the table once he got started.
You’re right. I made assumptions with little basis.
What you should know is that Satan has no real power over you. In the times of temptation you are just immagining it! You don’t have to sin until the end of your life! Say it! Say:“I will not sin until the end of my life!” If Satan and 1000 legions of demons were tempting you, they still wouldn’t have power to make you do it! Keep praying because it helps, but if you don’t pray, Satan still would have no power over you! I would just be harder to resist temptations! Keep spiritual battle! God bless you!
I prayed for you at Mass and Rosary today You are not alone and i pray your moral suffering will pass.