I, Catholic, divorced Catholic Man who now remarried by Justice of Peace


#1

I am Catholic and had married a Catholic man in Catholic Church. Now divorced but no annulment for either of us. He remarried by Justice of Peace. Church rule says still married in eyes of our church since no annulments. Where do we stand in eyes of church since he remarried by Justice of Peace? He still likes to see me occasionally & wondered where we stand on this?


#2

He is considered to be living in a state of adultery. His second marriage does not have any effect on your standing in the Church - you remain a Catholic in good standing.


#3

I know I am in good standing in the eyes of the church since I never remarried but what I want to know is are my ex-husband and I still married in the eyes of the church and am I committing sin if I would see him or date him when he asks me to since we are still friends and even tho he is still married to woman he married by Justice of Peace?


#4

It’s okay to see him as long as he invites his wife along on your dates.

C’mon, you know better than this. And you deserve more respect than to be this guy’s side bet. Start annulment proceedings and move on. And away.


#5

The Church considers you married, therefore you cannot be sinning if you see him, have sex with him, etc.

However, what the Church believes and what the legal system believes are two different things, and you’ll have to consider that in your actions.


#6

You are both wonderful examples of christian faith and how it concinces others to stay away from it. Have fun.


#7

You are both still married in the eyes of the Church.


#8

As a matter of fact, I didn’t know the correct answer & still don’t but will consult a priest. Besides that, he was not married in a religious ceremony. After our divorce I was told by a priest that we were still married and could be together. As many changes that there have been in the church’s rules, it is a little difficult to know what is right or wrong. As far as annulments, to many, that doesn’t make much sense besides being very expensive. If you are divorced, that should be it and you should not be able to consider yourself still married. That’s not just my opinion.


#9

It seems to me that if your husband does not divorce his current legal wife and you continue to have relations with him, you are condoning his adultery.


#10

The Church teaches exactly what Jesus taught: (Matthew 19:9)

I say to you,* whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.”

If your husband is living with a second wife, he is living in adultery. You should not be having sexual relations with him while he is living with another woman. Tell him that he must choose between his adulterous life and you and Christ.


#11

:thumbsup:


#12

Just to let you know, I am not having any kind of relationship with him even tho he has tried and also his current marriage is not recognized in the church since he does not have an annulment and also was married by Justice of Peace. We were told by a priest we are still married in the eyes of the church.


#13

Just want you to know that I am not having any kind of relationship with him even tho he is still a friend and would like more. A priest told us that we are still married in the eyes of the church and also does not recognize his marriage by Justice of Peace.


#14

Someone better tell his second wife he's still married...


#15

Being “married in the eyes of the Church” is good and fine, it doesn’t mean you should act like an idiot around a manipulative, deceitful person. The simple rule should be: No contact other than with attorneys present until he legally divorces 2nd wife and proves (however he can) to you that he won’t leave and cheat anymore. He has also sinned against this 2nd woman and he has a responsibility to make sure that she is not financially devastated by his sins and poor judgement. I don’t think he can do much about the emotional devastation he is undoubtedly inflicting.


#16

Thanks for your reply but do you think this is true even tho he got remarried? I do not have a relationship of any kind with him, even tho I’m sure he would like to, but we are friends but do you think it would be wrong to go to dinner with him occasionally when he asks? I know the church does not recognize his marriage by Justice of Peace and also because of no annulment.


#17

Thanks for the reply but do you think we are still married in the eyes of the church since he did remarry? I know our church doesn’t recognize his getting remarried because of no annulment and also the church does not recognize his getting married by Justice of Peace.


#18

Thanks for the reply. Do you think we are still married in the eyes of the church since he did remarry? I know the church does not recognize his marriage because of no annulment but also because he married by Just of Peace.


#19

By saying “start annulment proceedings”, you seem to be suggesting that an annulment is/should be something that anyone can get as long as they have a good lawyer, go through the process, etc. The husband’s current infidelity has no bearing on whether or not the marriage was valid to begin with. Since we have no reason to believe that the marriage was invalid and simply wish that it was so we could “start all over”, it would be gravely sinful to seek an annulment without due cause.


#20

So basically what you are saying is that he is now married to another woman (although not in the eyes of the Church) but he is still trying to have sex with you? What kind of a man does that?

Open your eyes, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Don’t see him, you are tempting him. If you do you are as much to blame as he is for what happens and you can’t use the excuse ‘But we are still married in the eyes of the Church’. That is an abuse of what it was designed for, an abuse of it’s intent.

Don’t try getting around a technicality like ‘in the eyes we are still married and it is okay for us to be together’. I don’t know any Priest who would say it is okay, especially since they know that he is remarried even if it is by a Justice of the Peace.

He has committed himself to someone else, well maybe it’s more that this other woman has committed to him without knowing he is offering sex to you and who knows what other women he has been seeing as well.

His behaviour speaks to his character, or lack of. He has no moral integrity or courage at the moment, he’s emotionally immature. That may change in the future but do you really want to hang around until then?

Cut your losses, try to get the marriage annulled and move on with your life.


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