I could use a little advise


#1

Ok, so I'm going to try to make this as short and sweet as possible. About 7 months ago I was hurt really bad in my heart. I know everybody has gone through break ups but to propose to the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with and get dumped the next day isn't easy. Since then I was blaming God for allowing me to go through that but now my life has gotten so tangled up. Simply put I feel like love doesn't exist. I don't believe that I can be loved so I have a hard time praying or going to church because of that. I have lost that connection with my parents and friends just because I don't trust anybody with my heart anymore. I have put such a fortress around my heart it has blocked all feeling of love so love itself ceases to exist for me. Every once in a while something causes that barrier to flinch a little bit and I realize there is more and I need to change but as quick as it comes, it's gone and I go back to my original mentality and fixing the barrier around my heart. Life itself has no purpose without love in it yet I continue to refuse to give anymore ground to the pain and therefore continue to block love out. I'm lost beyond reason right now. I need some advise about how I can change this, to let my barrier down and to bring purpose and meaning back to my life. I know this isn't an easy question and that their are people more in need of your prayers. I wont ask you to pray for me and actually I would rather you didn't because like I said their are people more in need of your prayers. Please if you could lend even the slightest bit of advise it might mean a world of difference for me. Thank you.


#2

This week my son asked the woman he loves, "Do you miss all the love and cuddles I gave you?" ...hoping against hope that after the weeks they've been apart she might just miss him even a little . "No," she replied, "I have the dogs"...actually my son's loved dogs which he had to leave with her. He's shattered. I've been crying for him today, as yesterday to top off all his losses, he's lost his job. He was trying to keep busy, to cope, but the work has run out. Another son was hit with the loss of his wife after 13 years. He used music to try to keep himself sane. I know what you're saying...how much it hurts. But music hurts too, hearing all the love songs...so yes, it's agony.

We can let the pain destroy us or we can try to carry on. You can try to fill the void and it hits you all over again. I ask the Lord to help you to find a healthy way to deal with your heartbreak without destroying what is good in you, your hope and capacity to love, love being a choice as much as a feeling. I ask the Lord to help you not just to remain filled with your own hurt, but to make the effort to do kind little things for others, for your family, whether you feel like it or not. We can't heal if we are only absorbed by our own needs, our own hurts...and I know what it's like to have one's heart broken too, and also the numbness, but we must make the effort to be kind in little ways to others, make their lives better in little ways. In that we are living what God intends, and we are also gradually moving on the path to healing however awful the relapses are when we are hit all over again with our sorrow and loss. I pray for this for my son too, who is in my each waking moment. I pray it for you.
Recovery may be slow and some days just raw pain, but we do begin to heal if we live not just for own own losses, because what you are doing right now is giving someone who proved unworthy of loving you the power to ruin your life.

Not God's fault as we have free will which God does not force. And this girl excercised her free will, sadly, to leave you because she knew that perhaps something wouldn't work...however there are so many different kinds of people and I pray that God will help you find someone who will love you deeply in return.
I know she feels like the only one. I know, but she didn't think so. My son thought so. His mind tells him she isn't right because he needs mutual affection, but his heart, too, is hurting because he never loved anyone like that before.


#3

Lord, I pray for Rjamieson89 who is so worthy of our prayers and is in great need of them, especially now since he is he is so wounded and is building up walls of protection to buffer his pain. Please help him to know your love in a special way today. I wish he would read St. Faustina’s Diary called Divine Mercy in My Soul, so he can learn about your profoundly deep and merciful love for us all.

Please help him find an even better woman to marry and help keep him trusting in you and hopeful. He is heart-broken over his old girlfriend, but he can heal better if he just lets himself love the people around him and trusts in love again. Help him to love his neighbors and to trust in love again, Lord.

There is no better way for us to live in this life than with burning love in our hearts for you and with filial love for our neighbors. There is no other way, Lord, unless a person wants to grow old and cold in one’s heart and dry up like a withered branch. Please keep Rjamieson89 young at heart and willing to try love again. May he take this time away from women to deepen his relationship with you in a significant way. May he pray even more and attend adoration more at a nearby adoration chapel. Just please help him to be like a child again - vulnerable yet resilient, hopeful, trusting and filled with love. He might like to read about the lives of the saints who were very childlike and trusting yet went through great pain, too. Please heal Rjamieson89, Lord, and help him be willing to remove one of the bricks from his edifice to make an opening for love to enter in and exit from. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer. Amen.


#4

I have no advice to give you, but since you have posted this in prayer intentions forum, and you are have a hard time praying and losing faith because of what's been happening in your life, I'm going to say a prayer for you in hopes that you find love ...

Hail Mary
Full of grace
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary
Mother of God
pray for us sinner now
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#5

Praying for you and Trishie’s sons.


#6

Thank you all for your words of advise, and yes, even your prayers. I will keep trying to open up to love but I have built this wall strong and it wont be easy tearing it down. But I guess as long as I’m alive I will keep trying to get back to that love that I once you God had for me.


#7

[quote="rjamieson89, post:6, topic:178337"]
Thank you all for your words of advise, and yes, even your prayers. I will keep trying to open up to love but I have built this wall strong and it wont be easy tearing it down. But I guess as long as I'm alive I will keep trying to get back to that love that I once you God had for me.

[/quote]

RJ:

Excuse me while I open the bottle of Geritol... I grew up in the era BEFORE PC's, Cell-Phones & AIDS... And, I wasn't exactly Obedient to my church, or Chaste...

And, That helped to cause me a fair amount of heartbreak when I was young. My first lover actually had another lover over for a trist when she had me scheduled to come over. I was (naively) on the outside of the door while he was inside of the townhouse. Stupidly, I hung on the relationship until someone "talked some sense" into me. Not much more than a year later, my mother died while I was away at school (Freshman Year at college).

Between my mother dying, and other failed relationships, and problems with financial aid and money, I had to drop out after my Sophomore year.

Within 3 years, I joined something called The Highway Missionary Society, a Christian Community in Southern Oregon which sponsored a Christian Rock Band, Servant, which played pretty frequently at Calvary Chapel. I thought, because of Servant, the HMS was ok. Oregon was beautiful, but the HMS had "Cult-Like' features. and, I tended to get injured doing a lot of the work, plus I ran out of money, plus I probably was a bit difficult (I had entered in at 280 lbs. & was on a diet almost all of the time - I left at 180 lbs.).

Because I had no money, and my family had no money, phone or transportation, and the country as a whole was in an economic recession, it was very difficult for me to find work in the months following my leaving the Highway Missionary Society.

My father died 2 Years, 3 months after I left the HMS. I joined a real Cult, the Summit Group, and moved in with "my minder". After a few months, the folks at Summit found out that I was BROKE & not going to be a community leader. I was saved from a complete and total brainwashing because I was broke!

The Problem was somewhere about the time my dad died, I lost my faith, Being unemployed and having to deal with the death of my dad, and having no real close friends was just too much for what was left of my faith...

It got so bad that when I had the Acoustic Tumor I didn't bother to ask anyone to pray for me. That when I was laying in bed with SPINAL HEADACHES which were so painful I was screaming while in coma, I didn't ask for a priest. I ever want anyone to go through that pain and despair.

I can just about guarantee you, if you shut yourself off from God and His Love and Mercy, you may experience that one day, and it's something you NEVER want to go through.

The Lord loves you - He created you to live an abundant, spirit-filled life. He created you for joy and for peace, but you have to let Him give them to you. Play these songs in sequence. Pray the last one - It is said that those who sing pray twice.

Randy Stonehill .... Keep me Running (live)
Keith Green - When I hear the praises start (live)
Keith Green - My eyes are dry (live)

Remembr, He who sings prays twice.

Your Brother & Servant in Christ, Michael


#8

I’m really sorry to hear the pain you are experiencing right now. I know many people in very similar situations. I would say to talk good priest or counselor. Now is the time when you need your family and friends, not the time to push them away. Sometimes when someone who was so close to you hurts you like that it is hard to separate pain from others who hold dearest to us. I pray that you will be able to put down your wall around good people that you can trust. If you do not let your guard down a little bit, nobody will be able to know you for who you really are in your heart. If people you meet do not really know you, you may attract people that you do not want to be that close to or the opposite; you may keep at a distance that person that God has that is perfect for you.


#9

I once loved a man and he left me for a drug user, among other things. I thought I would never get over it but i began to read the bible and that breakup was the beginning of my faith. It took me close to a year to get over the break up so seven months is nothing concerning matters of the heart. Hold on friend.


#10

[quote="aborodki, post:9, topic:178337"]
I once loved a man and he left me for a drug user, among other things. I thought I would never get over it but i began to read the bible and that breakup was the beginning of my faith. It took me close to a year to get over the break up so seven months is nothing concerning matters of the heart. Hold on friend.

[/quote]

Yea well last year I was in the seminary, I was so much in love with God. I could feel him inside me. There were even times when I could feel the Holy Spirit around me guiding me through my steps on my walk through life. But that was then, I left the seminary because I felt it was the right thing to do. Met a wonderful girl at a catholic church retreat and hit it off right away. For the first time in my life I was in love with somebody I could see, someone who I knew was there. I guess thats were things went wrong, I started caring for her more than I did God because she was there with me, by my side. She left me though. I have been blaming God all this time for putting her in my life and making me go through all this pain but I guess its my fault. I put her before everything and made her my whole life so when she walked out so did my life and everything I know. Its been so hard to come back from this. I cant figure out who I am now. I think the biggest reason is because I know that who I am is a child of God and my life (me) is built on that and since I don't pray or go to church anymore it is impossible to find me because I'm denying who I really am by not doing those things. It seems so simple to just turn back to God and everything will be fix and a ok but it wont. I did originally turn to God when this happened and was praying all the time and attending mass and everything but things didn't get fixed and so I turned away. I don't know how to even come back let alone do it. Writing this all down has really helped me realize a lot but I need a lot of prayers to make these things happen and to come back.


#11

Ryan you remain in my thoughts and prayers.God bless you

"God can heal a broken heart if we give Him all the pieces."

It was in Christ's brokenness that he delivered us from evil. Therefore, it is in our brokenness that we become united to Christ, it is in our brokenness that we become free from the power of evil. A broken spirit is humble and ready to depend on God instead of self. A broken heart needs the love that no human, other than the divine Jesus, is perfect enough to give.

When we give our broken hearts to the perfect love of the only One who can heal us, we recognizing our brokenness and the change begins within us.

Accepting the blessing of our brokenness is what empowers the change. And offering our brokenness to the Lord -- to be used in loving service for others like he did -- is what completes our transformation.

Jesus loves you no matter what has happened in your life.
Jesus is your most important friend. He died on a cross out of love for you.

When you need help, Jesus is there for you. He never ignores your pain. You don’t have to explain anything to Him... He already knows.

Jesus himself told us, "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest."

With Jesus in your life, you are never alone. It is very comforting to believe in a power greater than yourself.

Gracious God, for some among us, dreams and hopes have died. Relationships have ended. Promises and hearts have been broken. Heal those broken hearts, we pray. Help those persons whose relationships have failed to know that the one never failing love can be found in you. When they feel lonely, make them aware of your Spirit. When they feel guilty, help them to know your forgiveness. When there is anger, send them your peace. We pray for these gifts in the name of your Son, Jesus. AMEN


#12

From all eternity, O Lord, You planned my very existence and my destiny. You wrapped me in Your love in baptism and gave me the Faith to lead me to an eternal life of happiness with You. You have showered me with Your graces and You have been always ready with Your mercy and forgiveness when I have fallen. Now I beg You for the light I so earnestly need that I may find the way of life in which lies the best fulfillment of Your will. Whatever state this may be, give me the grace necessary to embrace it with love of Your holy will, as devotedly as Your Blessed Mother did Your will. I offer myself to You now, trusting in Your wisdom and love to direct me in working out my salvation and in helping others to know and come close to You, so that I may find my reward in union with You for ever and ever. Amen.


#13

[quote="tbcrawford, post:12, topic:178337"]
From all eternity, O Lord, You planned my very existence and my destiny. You wrapped me in Your love in baptism and gave me the Faith to lead me to an eternal life of happiness with You. You have showered me with Your graces and You have been always ready with Your mercy and forgiveness when I have fallen. Now I beg You for the light I so earnestly need that I may find the way of life in which lies the best fulfillment of Your will. Whatever state this may be, give me the grace necessary to embrace it with love of Your holy will, as devotedly as Your Blessed Mother did Your will. I offer myself to You now, trusting in Your wisdom and love to direct me in working out my salvation and in helping others to know and come close to You, so that I may find my reward in union with You for ever and ever. Amen.

[/quote]

Lord please hear our prayer


#14

From all eternity, O Lord, You planned my very existence and my destiny. You wrapped me in Your love in baptism and gave me the Faith to lead me to an eternal life of happiness with You. You have showered me with Your graces and You have been always ready with Your mercy and forgiveness when I have fallen. Now I beg You for the light I so earnestly need that I may find the way of life in which lies the best fulfillment of Your will. Whatever state this may be, give me the grace necessary to embrace it with love of Your holy will, as devotedly as Your Blessed Mother did Your will. I offer myself to You now, trusting in Your wisdom and love to direct me in working out my salvation and in helping others to know and come close to You, so that I may find my reward in union with You for ever and ever. Amen.


#15

Our Father, who art in Heaven
Hollowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptaion
But deliver us from evil

Amen


#16

I am praying for you to come back …


#17

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