I don't feel close to Mary

I don’t feel close to Mary but I really want to. It’s not that I have trouble accepting any of the Church’s teaching. I totally do. I guess I just have a hard time identifying with her. She is so innocent and obedient. I am so not.

How can I grow close to her? I have already been praying the rosary for about a year.

Read about her and spend some time meditating on the Gospel, using the Scriptures. Use your imagination during prayer to visualize the events of the Gospel, and stories. Ask the Lord to enlighten you about this, and it will change.

Rote prayers have their place, but they are inferior to meditative prayer and spiritual reading goes a long way in helping us to understand. :angel1:

How wonderful that you have been praying the Rosary for a year now! Please continue to do so. It is very powerful prayer.

It looks like you have a good start of identifying yourself with her right in your comment – “She is … I am so not”. The more you closer to Her, the more you will see the imperfection in you - this is a grace given to you so that you may see yourself the way God sees you and have the desire to grow toward holiness.

To grow closer to Her is to keep asking Her for your need of Her and to know who She is to us and to God. When you know you need Her, you will give yourself to Her so that she will guide you to Jesus.

Ceil has great advice!

Few books I have in mind:

  • “The Reed of God”.
  • “The Secret of the Rosary”.
  • “Hail Holy Queens”.
  • “The Glories of Mary”.

Hi, :slight_smile: I don’t think it is necessary to find similarities with Mary in order to relate to her. She is human too but she’s sinless and the Mother of God. What worked for me is lots of prayer and thinking about how it must have been for her to see Jesus being crucified…reflecting on the Sorrowful Mysteries from her perspective. That made Mary more ‘real’ to me. But most of all just lots of prayer, and not just the Rosary but in your own words too.

Try to meditate on Mary’s attributes and her life… think about her humility, submission to God’s will, her love for her Son…meditate on her joys and sorrows during her life… yes she is different from us, but that’s oki, cause this just means we can ask her to help us be more humble and pure of heart…we can ask her to help us love God better and to lead us closer to her Son. :slight_smile: everything Mary does is for God’s glory. Let her be a part of your relationship with God by allowing her to lead you more to Him and to help you grow in virtue. Ask her to pray for your intentions especially the very important ones, and trust that she is indeed praying for you in Heaven. If the prayer is answered, thank God, and also thank Mary for praying.

Also you can try reading St. Louis de Montfort’s “True Devotion to Mary” but a warning, it’s a pretty serious book and gets sort of mystical sometimes… it’s very good if you understand it but might seem very wrong if you do not. :wink: it’s the sort of book you have to pray about while reading and ask God to help understand it correctly. The first time I read de Montfort’s teachings I thought he’s talking about worshipping Mary and I was very skeptical, but then afterwards somehow I saw it’s not worship and it made sense. Anyway, it helped me know Mary better and feel closer to her, that’s why I’m mentioning it. :slight_smile:

Hail Holy Queen by Scott Hahn is great too and much easier to ‘get’.

God bless!

You have some great info here. Have you thought about just asking Mary to make you love her more and more? Also, you can only love someone when you know them. The better you know them the greater the potential to love them. Read what the saints say about Mary and read what the mystics tell us about her life from visions. She is very loveable and you will love her more and more as you get to know her better. God bless :slight_smile:

Excellent advice! I thoroughly agree - however I advocate that you submit to the authority of the Church. Not ever apparition or vision is of Christ and Mary, so only listen to those that have been vigorously researched by the Church and found acceptable. :slight_smile:

Online Adoration of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament louisville-catholic.net/WebCameras/AdorationChapel/tabid/825/Default.aspx
True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin fisheaters.com/totalconsecrationmontfort.html
**Secret of the Rosary ** montfort.org.uk/Writings/Rosary.html
Reflections on True Devotion to Mary by His Holiness Pope John Paul II http://www.michaeljournal.org/montfort.htm
**The Glories of Mary, ** by St. Alphonsus de Liguori, one of the 33 Doctors of the Catholic Church, explains Hail Holy Queen http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/glories.htm
On the Dolors of Mary by St. Alphonsus de Liguori, one of the 33 Doctors of the Catholic Church, explains the sufferings of Our Lady http://writer.zoho.com/public/immaculate/Seven-dolors
Marialis Cultus (Apostolic Exhortation for the Right Ordering and Development of Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary of His Holiness, February 2, 1974 by His Holiness Pope Paul VI ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/P6MARIAL.HTM
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus en.wikisource.org/wiki/Devotion_to_the_Sacred_Heart_of_Jesus#FIRST_POINT._.E2.80.94_The_ardent_desire_Jesus_Christ_feels_to_be_with_us.
Divine Mercy Chaplet ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm
Rosary Confraternity Enrollment rosary-center.org/nconform.htm (As Pope Leo XIII said in his encyclical on the Confraternity, *“Whenever a person fulfills his obligation of reciting the Rosary according to the rule of the Confraternity, he includes in his intentions all its members and they render him the same service many times over.” * Each member includes deceased fellow members as well; and thus he knows that in turn he will be included in the prayers of hundreds of thousands both now and hereafter.
Cathechism of the Catholic Church vatican.va/archive/catechism/ccc_toc.htm
Litany of Humility ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/humility.htm
**Litany of the Blessed Virgin ** intermirifica.org/Mary/marylitany.htm
**Cathechis of the Popes on Mary, Mother of God, ** catechesisofthepopes.wikispaces.com/Mary
Mystical City of God themostholyrosary.com/mystical-city.htm
In Defense of The City of God Mystica Civitate Dei: dailycatholic.org/issue/05Jun/jun10tim.htm - to summarize the research of three priests on the official decision of the Holy Roman Catholic Church regarding The Mystical City of God by Venerable Mary of Jesus of Agreda and to ascertain thereby whether it is permitted for anyone of any authority whatsoever to forbid the reading of this extraordinary book.
New York Times: Honoring Victims of the Rwandan Blood Bath query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9400E4D81738F93BA35757C0A96F958260&n=Top/News/World/Countries%20and%20Territories/Rwanda (Marian apparition occurred here (Rwanda))

Other thoughts I would also recommend deeply studying the Fatima, Portugal and Kibeho, Rwanda messages, prophecies, and the truth of how they came to pass. Finally, look into the Lanciano Eucharistic Miracle where a Eucharist turned into a flesh and blood Host. First studied by Dr. Eduardo Linoli in 1970-1971 professor of anatomy, pathological histology, chemistry and clinical microsocpy, and the former head of the Laboratory of Pathological Anatomy at the Hospital of Arezzo, published in pub med: Quad Sclavo Digan. 1971. Sep; 7(3): 661-74. Histological, immunological and biochemiccal studies on the flesh and blood of the eucharistic miracle of Lanciano (8th century) ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/4950729? and read Case for Christ a former Chicago Tribune Legal editor, Yale law graduate, and former atheist who attempted to prove Christianity wrong by conducting a rigorous historical investigation and instead became a Protestant Pastor and published the historical evidence for Christ as a result of his work. :slight_smile: )

You are quite right and thx for the detailed respones full of links. When the church canonises someone the church searches everything taught by that person to see if anything is contrary to the teachings of the church. So you can usually trust the writings of saints. Saints are not always the pope and can make mistakes, but rarely. God bless.

Thanks for the many links! Personally I have read St. Louis De Montfort’s true devotion to Mary and was so taken to his writings that I promptly consecrated myself to our Blessed Mother’s service. :thumbsup: Also, I am currently reading St. Alphonsus’s Glories of Mary. I can’t help but fall more deeply in love with our Constant Advocate. :slight_smile:
All in all, it was Mary who has been drawing me to her, not the other way around. It’s been a blessing I can hardly describe in words.

[quote=John Russell Jr]…you can usually trust the writings of saints. Saints are not always the pope and can make mistakes, but rarely. God bless.

Popes can make mistakes too, but not when they are speaking ex cathedra. Just to clarify. :wink:

Years ago I didn’t but when I wrote the following, that changed. Mary leads us to deeper love of her Son

Woman of faith, pray for us
Dear Mother Mary, you have been honoured, blessed, and gifted by God. You are our mother because in figure of John, Jesus gave us to you as your children as He hung dying on the cross. We ask you to speak to God on our behalf.

It was through your faith that Jesus first manifested His power at Cana, thus beginning His work before the appointed time. Although it concerned neither life nor death, nor eternal salvation but the human feelings of others, He granted your trusting prayer.

Such was your faith, and God’s love for you, Saint of all saints!
Therefore, we trust our prayer to Your faith in God! You see everything that we need in service of God, and all that we desire for each other. You feel the aching of our hearts and hear our longing prayers. You behold our faith, our repentance, and our love.

Stand not silently by, Mother! Our Father, your Son, and the Holy Spirit who overshadowed you and blessed you with our Saviour—They cannot refuse you!

Please give us your unfailing intercession before God so that the fullest gifts and blessings are granted to each of us. We stand humbly before you, Mother, and entreat you with our hearts, minds, and spirits…Mother!

Mary, lead us to your Son
Mother, in all things please help us in the humanity that you share with us. You obtained of our God love, patience, wisdom, obedience and faith. Please intercede for us also to live in these.

Teach us to joy in what God desires, to trust absolutely however He leads. Guide us to give support wherever it is needed, but not to intrude where it is not, yet in both to pray in the way that will release God’s love and peace to others.

Help us to endure sorrow for His sake, as like yours, our minds and hearts cannot seek the comfort of complacency. For the things you lived and live for, and all that your Son lived, died and lives for, are those for which we also must live and die to ourselves, to find new life in Him, for others and for ourselves.

Mother, in your maternal love, please call us by our real names and lead us to God—as we learn in centring life in God alone, the joy of living to love and serve God and others for God’s sake.

Through you, most beautiful and pure of God’s creatures, let us enter with your faith into God. Thank you, lowly Mary of Nazareth for your example of wisdom, devotion and faith!

Woman, behold your Child
Dear Mother, please intercede with the Father that I may grow in worthy fraternity with Jesus, for this kinship was His dying wish. So deep was this astonishing desire, that He bridged earth to heaven for me by the racked sufferings of His soul, mind, and body.

As His humanity strained to shattering point, He knew even then my sins and faults, which He understood and forgave even as He suffered. He knew that I do not comprehend the heinousness of offence against God or against others whom He lovingly created.

He knew that I could not grasp the greatness of His act of incarnation and immolation, of His redemption of us, of me. For selfishness and worldliness dims the human soul’s limited perception regarding truth and love.

He, this suffering Being subject to all human vicissitude and weakness, was aware—with pain that deepened His own—of the anguish that filled your being and drenched your face with unconscious tears of love and distress as He died for me. He knew the depth of your pain—poignant with memories of the best of sons, of the greatest of men—loving, wise and innocent, compassionate, beloved, and vibrantly human.

Disfigured beyond recognition, He died for me in apparent failure and disgrace, yet He still asked your maternal love for me, inviting me to loving fraternity. Your love, transcending all, accepted me wholly.

Lovely Lady, pure crystal of divine glory, I humbly slip my hand in yours with obedient trust. I feel unworthy, sinful, wondering and hopeful. Why has He, this wonderful, promising, intelligent young man allowed Himself to be degraded and destroyed, emptied in loving endurance that escalates throughout indescribable torment—piercing your soul? Why has He done this for one such as me, who am so insignificant and sinful! Yet He draws me into His household and gives me His own Mother and His divine Father.

Gentle Mother, most blessed, you were chosen from amongst all women to cooperate in the incarnation of the only begotten of the most high God! You were entrusted with His nurture, His moulding and protection from conception until the beginning of His public ministry. Now your suffering eyes are filled with love and pity that calm the shame, confusion and discouragement that might otherwise overwhelm me.

Mother, intercede that what He has done, and all that He promises, be fulfilled in me and in everyone for whom I pray. Please lead me to love your Son and our God as He has loved and to cherish others with such love. Lead me to give my paltry all to Him in humble, obedient, creative service.

Let this small gift be blessed in your maternal love for me and in the intercession of the entire heavenly household. Thus may I live for His glory, offering atonement, gratitude and petition for us poor sinners—so that His joy and delight in me, and yours, is as great as His suffering for me, and yours.

Mother as gift to Him for such undeserved love, please obtain of the Father, that whenever Jesus looks upon me He knows only gladness, finding in me for Himself…the pleasure of an innocent child…the love and nurture of Nazareth with you…the intimacy and repose of a perfect Bethany.

Let Him know with thrilled awareness, that His blood and torment, and your tears, are not wasted to me nor to souls whom His salvation reaches through me.

Great advice, everyone, thanks!

Originally Posted by John Russell Jr
…you can usually trust the writings of saints. Saints are not always the pope and can make mistakes, but rarely. God bless.

Popes can make mistakes too, but not when they are speaking ex cathedra. Just to clarify. :wink:

I agree here, but I hold the view that may one day be defined that the pope is infallible when teaching about faith and morals, and not just excathedra. So far it seems true.:thumbsup: :slight_smile:

Ask her to show her grace’s more that you can see her in your rosary, Ask that you will grow stronger to her in everyway of life :thumbsup: :slight_smile:

HI Xandria. I know some of what you feel. For reasons which I cannot go into here I spent most of my life practically ignoring Mary.( which seems unbelievable now). However about 4 years ago I really wanted something to work out for me and I satrted saying the Rosary. I said it without much thought and although that request was granted to me I continued to say the Rosary as I had promised Our Lady that should my request be granted I would say the Rosary every day for the rest of my life. However my personal life got worse and I was nearlly at the end of the line. I went on a Marion pilgrimage and came home walking on air!
I had no idea of what I was to experience next. It was as though the evil one did not want me to say the Rosary. ( he hates the Rosary) I suffered a geat deal and begged Our Lady to give me Her Rosary in peace. I knew she would not refuse and after some time things got well again for me and I could contemplate very deeply on the Rosary.
It is a joy for me to say the Rosary now and contimplate on each mystery deeply.
What I could say to you is tell Our Lady that you know she is close to you and how much you want to feel close to Her. She is our Heavenly Mother and will not refuse you :slight_smile: It may take a little time but She may have a reason for that but She will :slight_smile:
Sometimes I light a candle in the quietness of my room and choose just one mystery to contimplate on and talk to Our Lady as if she was sitting opposite me and I find that very comforting.
In the child-hood of Jesus I ask her how did she felt when she looked into the eyes of Baby Jesus for the first time, How did she feel when she saw His first tooth, how did she feel when she put Her hands out to Him when He took His first step and so on and laugh with Her. In this way as a mother myself I identify with Her as she was a Mother in Nazareth and then make the leap to pray to Her as Our Mother in Heaven. :slight_smile: :thumbsup:
Holy Mary Mother of God Pray for us :slight_smile:

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