I’ve been having a lot of problems and a hard time in my personal life. I feel like right now the church is really…it’s something I can go to, and talk about light stuff over coffee, but I don’t feel safe really talking to anyone. Even priests.
A lot of it is that I feel like there’s very much a good parent / bad parent dichotomy. In my case, I feel like this means if a parent is helping out financially, then everything else they do must be reasonable or at least an understandable mistake. For someone like me who’s both receiving assistance but struggling heavily with emotional demands that I cannot meet, this is very difficult. (I also somewhat feel that legal and moral rights get confused here.)
I also feel like there’s a very confusing idea of responsibility going on sometimes. As a young adult, I’m supposed to take care of myself and be responsible for myself and my needs. But wanting the resources to do so marks me as entitled. It doesn’t help that most of the issues for me are healthcare related, and it’s such a big political football right now.
I could probably go on, but the problem is I’m in a position where I want to be supported and be able to talk, but I’m afraid to speak up because of being judged or told how I should be more loving/hardworking/whatever. I also sometimes feel like “go to therapy” ends up being a way to isolate problems from the Body of Christ.
I guess I’m wondering…do other people feel the same way? Do you feel like the church is a safe place for you? If not, where do you turn?