I don't know if this is a vocation or just selfishness

so I don’t particularly feel called eo either marriage or religious life.

I don’t know if I’m called to single life or if I’m just being selfish by not wanting to give stuff up. I do enjoy my life right now, I want to get a job, preferably something scientific or I could work for a cahotlic organization. and then use my spare time to help my parents out wince I’m the only around to do so and volunteer for things at my parish…

but then I have doubts, maybe I’m just being selfish by not wanting to give up everything to go be a sister or take care of kids and a husband. I do enjoy travelling and hanging out with friends sometimes and I have no particular desire to go to the convent or date and find a spouse.

jesus did say we had to lose our life to save it and we shouldn’t love our parents more than him. I’m not sure if that’s what I’m doing right now or not or if it is really what God wants.


If you are not drawn to marriage or religious life, you may not be called to either.

All Christians, however, have a call to holiness in view of our baptism. I would not go as far as to say the single life itself, however, is a calling, since we are all born into it. In view of the call to holiness, however, we should make the most out of whatever state we are in, that we may behold the blessedness of our Lord and Master as much as we can in the next world, as determined by what we have done in this world, how much we have loved the Lord in this world.

(Remember the parable of the servants of the man seeking the kingship; each has differing level of talents, and when the man returns as king, the inequality of talents is maintained.)

There is nothing wrong with wanting to travel; I want to do the same. Make sure, however, we keep our eyes first on the world hereafter, which the Lord promises to all who love him. And if we get some extras in this world, well and good. Or, if you wish to travel, you may use this in some fashion as a way to grow in holiness, such as serving in missionary work.

It appears as if you need to know yourself better. You are so focused on the needs of the Church and others, that perhaps you should be a bit more selfish. We can’t give to others what we do not have ourselves.

I thought single life was considered a vocation?

I mean actively choosing to stay single to better serve others, not just being that way because you didn’t find a boyfriend or something

or I just don’t have a calling?

I’m sorry, I’m not exactly sure what you mean. what do I need to give to others that I don’t have?

Sometimes we need to let the future unfold.
A rose opens petal by petal, not all at once.
And we do pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” not all our bread in one day.
For some people, knowing their path can come slowly, so you won’t necessarily know as soon as you wish.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” Who said that first!?

You may not be ready to jump into a lifestyle.
God may have things for you to learn, tools to obtain. Who knows!

Life’s evidence is that some people shouldn’t get married, shouldn’t have children. If one follows news tragedies closely, one soon learns that to be a fact. The burden of relationship and parenting is too great for some people and they snap or crash…

While that harsh reality isn’t true with your sweet self,
God knows who you are and what you can handle in life.
God knows what kind of flower you are, but you may not know yet.
You seem to be young.

Just be, and trust, and love God and be kind to others, as you already do.
If there is a fork in the path, you won’t get there till you get there.

Great advice thus far.
Some things are better discussed with a Spiritual Director.
Seek one out. :thumbsup:

Best advice!

Too many, a vocation is a calling from God that is very present and visible. To others all it takes is a yearning and if the call is accepted one follows through growing day by day in the love of Christ. Others are meant to be in marriage a have a Christian family and promote our wonderful Faith. Lastly, there are those who will be single out of choice or not. They can have equally a strong vocation (not as structured but equally powerful). Pray a lot. Join a parish group or a 3rd order religious group of your prayer style. Benedictine, Franciscan, Dominican, Jesuits, and Carmelites are but a few religious orders out there. One can pray and become a Saint wherever you may be at. Pax

Secondly, you must be so what mature in our Catholic Church because as a religious you will be called to leave everything behind and be ok with it. You’ll also have to be ‘in love with Jesus’ because for the rest of your life all you will be doing is thinking and being with Him. You will have to be more than ok to be a religious. You’ll have to give up desires for; having a family, a boyfriend, traveling and other desires of the heart and world. Ask yourself if you can do this. If you feel you can and want. See your nearest diocesan rectory or religious group to talk with regarding your interest. :slight_smile:

Best advice I’ve read ever! :thumbsup:

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