I dont understand


Im a young Roman Catholic, who is a true defender of the faith. If someone comes up to me asking about Catholism, I usually can tell them and debate with them. But how can I debate with a person who wont listen?

My best friend is an athiest. I completely respect her beliefs and opinions, and have never really said anything to her about religion. One day in class, we were reading Genisis, and she was like “This is a complete load of ****! I just can believe any of this.” I said, “Well try. Interpret it figuratively!” to which she replied, “I just cant. Its just retarded.” That along with a recent event of “I just dont get it. Its sooo stupid.” makes me think about her. I want her to believe, in something! anything! I dont understand how a person can’t believe in a God. It just doesnt make any sense to me. What kind of life can a person live, knowing that one day, they die. And thats it. I can even fathom not existing! And time goes by and im nowhere.

My question is simple. How can I help her open her heart to find a religion (any religion) that suits her, without completely ruining our relationship?


Pray for her.


Maybe ask her the purpose of recognizing beauty as it is not necessary for existence. We could function just fine without it. And then mostly:

Pray for her…teachccd


By the way, welcome to the forum. You seem like someone who will find this beneficial and we are glad to have you…God Bless…teachccd:)


Actually your question is not so simple but I have one more point. You mention that you are young so I’m not sure if that means High School or early college. People of your age sometimes find all kinds of things “Dumb”. That’s their way of not having to deal with things that they don’t readily understand. Many, if not all, self proclaimed atheists have a personal spirituality that they are not willing to share. Sometimes they are not even really aware of it. We are all hardwired to seek God so this person is seeking something and her obstinance is her expression of that search. That’s dumb. This is full of ******. These are common ways of avoiding a conversation with you that might allow her to have to open up with you and explain her position. Give her time and continue to pray for her…It’s in God’s hands and you are His tool. Keep bringing up beauty and the order of the universe and human cells, DNA and things like that. Very slowly. Don’t even mention God at first. Just know that when you are talking about beauty you are talking about God and she won’t know it. Yet,

God Bless…teachccd:)


It sounds like you are still in Highschool, perhaps junior high or middle school. It takes time for beliefs to crystalize, and during this time people will often say “I am ________”. That does not make it so. I’d argue that a person doesn’t really start fully adopting a belief system until they become seperate from their parents, but that is another story.

In any case, as others have said, pray for your friend. Do not focus on the “what” but on the “why” - Genesis may be stupid to her, but why worry about that? Show the aspects and results of beliefs that you find important. Continue to be respective of her beliefs. A note, instead of fighting and arguing, statements like “I respect your beliefs, you should respect mine” will have powerful results.

Think about it, if someone wanted to talk you into converting to their faith, how would you feel if they came up and said “Catholics are wrong. Mary really had children that were Jesus’ brothers. And the eating bread at Mass is just a way for priests to control the masses.” Is a likely answer to that acceptance, or becoming ready to fight, to defend, what you belief?

Ideas are dangerous things - they have caused countless deaths and pain through history. Your friend has ideas, and attacking them will result in fighting, and friction. If you show your friend ideas, then the power of the idea itself can take effect.


I bet someday when your friend is an adult she will cringe at the silly things she said. I cringe at some things I said in high school and college. I wasn’t raised with any religion and the whole thing just seemed VERY bizarre to me. Your mind has to be open to the message and when the time isn’t right, it just isn’t right. Just look at your friend with love and hope that someday she is able to open her mind to see the fuller meaning of the message. Just be a nice, caring person and try not to be too hard on her. It is difficult to let people learn at their own pace, but the best way you can help her learn is to just set a good example of being caring and loving others.

Also, I think that the way that small children are taught about God does sound a bit simplistic and silly when you get a little older. There is a more adult understanding of the depth of the message. I wouldn’t say that you “don’t understand” (the title of your post) but rather that your friend doesn’t understand.



Hey there Kos,
Welcome to the forum!
I know what it is like to have friends that dont believe in God, its hard to understand. As how can someone not believe in something so beautiful?
I really truly believe God will call us to him when he is ready, and we are ready.
The best thing to do is not try to push your belief to hard on your friends, as I did that once and it backfires cause it annoys them. By showing them how truly Christian you are in your actions speaks a 1000 words! Eventually your good will will rub off on them then you will find they might ask, where do you get your good qualities from etc.
Good luck and Ill pray for your best friend will find how beautiful the catholic religion can be :thumbsup:


yea like many of posters here have already stated i doubt that she is an avid Atheist like Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris. To be honest to the person who has never heard of Geneisis it may appear acquired but so do the origin myths of other religions. To base her atheism on one singular book on the account of two religions is baseless. Its fine if she wants to be an atheist as long as she understands what that encompasses.


yea like many of posters here have already stated i doubt that she is an avid Atheist like Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris. To be honest to the person who has never heard of Geneisis it may appear acquired but so do the origin myths of other religions. To base her atheism on one singular book on the account of two religions is baseless. Its fine if she wants to be an atheist as long as she understands what that encompasses.

also try to explain to her the difference between “revealed” and “Inspired” scripture if you can.


Just show her how stupid the theory of evolution actually is and point out that in light of Genesis everything makes perfect sense, the question of origin, the problem of sin and evil etc.


Hi Kos, your approach of “debate” is simply wrong in this case.

This is a person who has somehow been hurt and needs to be drawn by agape ( I cor 13:4-8 ). Yes, pray for her, but also show her kindness. Jesus said, they will know you by your love.

Debate often is misunderstood as having a chip on one’s shoulder. Also, introduce her to some of your christian sisters to avoid missionary dating.

1 Peter 3:15
Your heart should be holy and set apart for the Lord God. Always be ready to tell everyone who asks you why you believe as you do. Be gentle as you speak and show respect.

Why Good Arguments Often Fail: Making a More Persuasive Case for Christ by James W. Sire

Lifestyle Evangelism: Learning to Open Your Life to Those Around You by Dr. Joe Aldrich


My son is a teenager who has run into the same thing. I will tell you what his reponses have been.

In one situation it was a friend who just told him he was athiest. To which my son simply reponded, "No you’re not, there is no such thing as an athiest. You might be agnostic but you are not athiest. " And then he left it at there for his friend to think about. In the meantime he simply is a friend and lives his faith.

In the second situation there were a group of kids in a discussion about God. When one tried to defend athiesm, he responded with Pascal’s wager and explained how whether you believe or not, the smarter choice is to choose to believe in God.


You can’t.


As others have said, don’t debate. Very few people are drawn to a life of faith by logic, facts or historical citations. Those who do not believe begin to want to believe when they see something in your life of faith that they need and want. The only way to let them see this is to be a good friend, live your faith and pray for them.

Now, if you want to discuss your faith, just briefly share something about your relationship with Jesus that makes you very happy. If your friend says “that’s retarded”, then just smile and say “You may change your mind about that someday”.

When someone tells me he doesn’t believe in God, I just smile and say “maybe so…but God still believes in you”.

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