I heard Fr. Larry Richards say that when we receive Jesus in communion we should just lay our head on His breast like the apostle John did at the last supper. This is that special time when we are with Him. We can tell Him anything we want or we can just be with Him and enjoy His presence with us. He wraps His arms around us.
Wow! To know He’s giving me His complete attention and He loves me as His child. He is my best friend, my brother, the one who really knows me, and (even if I can’t accept myself or find fault with myself) He doesn’t only love me, He likes me and He likes being with me. He has time for me, all the time in the world. I don’t have to be ‘good’ to earn His love. He loves me as I am. He is the one who makes it possible for me to be good and do good. He does this so that I can be even happier.
You remember that you didn’t feel affection from your parents because they didn’t or couldn’t take time to be with you, to talk and listen to you. Well, Jesus wants our affection. The Lord of all creation wants something that only you can give Him, your time. Every morning (or the night before) figure out when during that day you will spend this time with Him, at least 15 minutes, and tell Him when it will be. Then meet Him when you said you would. He will be jealous of this time with you. He will be waiting for you to come to Him. Don’t disappoint Him.
When you meet with Him, in church is good like you did on Sunday but it can be any quiet place, even in a car in the parking lot or at the kitchen table, talk to Him and take some time to listen. Write down any thoughts He gives you in a notebook. Begin your meeting by mentally coming into His presence and then making the sign of the cross. What to talk about? Maybe the gospel reading from last Sunday. What did you think when you heard it. What did it tell you about Him? Pretend you are there; what are you seeing? Or tell Him about something good that happened that day and thank Him for it. You could read Him a poem you wrote, tell Him a joke that made you laugh, something funny your dog did. You can tell Him about something that hurt you, or a decision you need help with. Maybe you could pray a decade of the rosary and think about the mystery for that decade. Tell him your idea of your perfect woman and see what He has to say about that! What are the top ten things you appreciate about Him? If He gave you three wishes, what would you ask for and why? What’s your favorite color. For one meeting, go for a walk or a drive and show Him one of your favorite places. Did you ever think of going fishing together, just the two of you? For Valentine’s day make a date with the Blessed Mother and give her a present. Ask His help in planning this. Will you meet her in church, go to confession, then say the rosary with a perfectly pure conscience? Or will you begin the date by getting up early and putting on for the first time a Miraculous medal or scapular you will wear as a sign of your love for her. Then take a little time to do a good deed for someone in her honor. Use your imagination.
My point is that you can only receive affection and tenderness from someone if you are in a relationship with them. This means you need to spend time with them, give affection, open your heart to them, do things together, get to know some of their friends. Sometimes you’ll screw up and will need to apologize and show you’re sorry. Sure, God already knows everything about you without you telling Him but He wants you to tell Him. Do little things for Him that are secrets between the two of you. I don’t mean just making little sacrifices which is important too. Suppose one Friday you decide to wear a red shirt or tie or suspenders all day just to remind you that Jesus loves us so much He shed His blood for us. Maybe some friends will think the red shirt looks goofy and you’ll laugh about it. But every time you notice that you have it on you will be reminded of Jesus’ love and can just pray a quick ‘thanks’ or ‘I remember’.
I hope that being Catholic just gets better and better for you. God is full of surprises and our lives sometimes turn out nothing like we thought they would because we can’t imagine what God has in mind for us. Things that seem like disasters might end up being blessings. Our weaknesses become the very things God wants to use for our good. It’s amazing. But not boring!