I fell into pornography and masturbation a few minutes ago. The last time I watched porn was 4 days ago. The next day I went to confession, but I came back home and fell into the sin once again. Has anyone been in this situation before? I feel as though I don’t really love God. I was reading Paul’s letters and I saw that he was plainly stating, “You have to give up the sinful ways…” and stuff like that. He puts it so bluntly and expects people to listen to him at once. So it must really be easy for those who really love God to give up sinful ways since Paul makes it look so simple. That makes me worry whether I’ll make it or not. Pray for me.
I had this problem. It’s not easy. Keep going to confession every time. I was fortunate to have many places available for confession including a cathedral that has it 3x’s/wk, but the most benefit was from a face to face confession (the only time I have done that) and the priest laid his hands on me in a prayer for assistance with the problem.
What else helped? You have to be determined. No television. No radio. No movies. No modern music or no music at all. No porn. No porn. No suggestive pictures. No suggestive thoughts. Stop eating eggs.
You may or may not be able to control this completely in your current situation but if you’re going to succeed you have to reduce the frequency dramatically, and don’t do anything that might stimulate your mind in that way. It’s not a medical necessity despite what people try to say and doing so, especially frequently, will only reinforce the problem because it’s like a drug.
Again. You have to eliminate everything provocative in your life, at least until you have more control. Replace television with the Bible, the Catechism and other spiritual reading. Pray - a lot.
For me music was an instigator. Everything was. Even the Divine Mercy chaplet on EWTN, especially the pop music version they do on weekends, would cause me problems for a while.
I will pray that God helps you with this.
How can that be? What you have experienced is an example of how difficult it is to change yourself. Why do you think so few people seek and accept correction? You are already where few dare to go - you recognize good and bad, accept responsibility for bad and are not rationalizing. How many people trash that which is good and glorify that which is evil to relieve personal guilt? So humbly accept your weaknesses and God Himself will help you overcome them in the time and manner He knows you are capable.
But do not doubt it, God loves you as his one child and will never walk out on you ever. You are not able to do something God has not seen in this world. You cannot shock Him or repulse Him.
In a practical way, consider you can gain control over your fantasies and over what you allow to enter your mind. Consider how artificial a picture is, and perhaps the real person depicted there - everything else that glamorizes the image or makes it real is fantasy. Tell yourself the truth about the image, the thought, the story line you run in your mind. Set the guard of honesty at the gateway to your thoughts.Stripped of the power of fantasy, the physical act has much less power over you.
So get to confession before you receive Communion and start again.
Sending a prayer…
I agree with the music bit, I used to have that problem. Luckily I listen to mainly oldies now like old country artists, elvis, etc.
Bengland - I don’t completely understand the music and the movies bit.
Do you say that because these things can be triggers for an addiction to porn, or are you somehow saying they might be sinful in themselves???
The only television that is safe to watch is EWTN, CSpan or something else quiet and informative. They are sane and quiet overall. Everything else is out, including other religious channels. The rest are geared to appeal to your passions. Music is employed as a primary mechanism for this. Some forms of music are worse than others.
Rock and Roll, for instance, was not a music form, but a term referring to having sex. The term was then applied to music that had this effect on people. The music industry is well aware of how their music acts on the psyche. Movies use similar devices. They also use loud noise, violence, drop dead gorgeous women, computer enhanced or otherwise, to appeal to the sexual emotions of both men and women.
You may watch these without ever realizing the effect they’re having on you, but the media does. They make these entertainment vehicles so that they inflame sexual and other passions. Even the news employees loud music and outrageous commercials to attract you to a product, often appealing to your sexual nature. Inflaming passions is part of the problem. The passions have to be subdued. No music. No movies. No television unless it’s boring and informative. You may find these to be irritating to you after a while of not being exposed to them.
I do not believe the music or movies themselves to be sinful to watch, but the effect (often intended by the producers) they have on the mind of a person who is struggling with a sexual addiction or other sinful behavior is contrary to the effect that you’re looking for.
I will pray for you as I hope that you will for me.
Paul, in no way, made it look simple. He continually mentions how weak he is and how he has a thorn in his side causing him a constant burden. Please read 2 Corinthians Chapter 12.
We all fall and fail at times and it is at those times when we realize our need for Christ. We cannot do it on our own. ALL sin replaces God with an infinitely lesser pleasure and turns us away from God. But, as in the case of St. Paul, we must run the race and persevere.* “I have strength for everything through Christ who* empowers me.” Phil 4:13
You do love God and He loves you. He knows your struggles and continually calls you to Him. Continue to utilize the Sacrament of Reconciliation and receive strength in the Eucharist. Christ died because we all need redemption. Jesus is the Father’s gift to us as sinners even while we continue to sin. Amazing, isn’t it??
He puts it so bluntly and expects people to listen to him at once. So it must really be easy for those who really love God to give up sinful ways since Paul makes it look so simple. That makes me worry whether I’ll make it or not. Pray for me
No no no! It is because it is so hard that he states it so bluntly. He knew, if you give an inch, people would take a mile because these teachings are so difficult to follow. He puts it bluntly to make sure people understand, and there is no argument.
Brother, a lot of people suffer with this problem. We are stuffed, we are gluttons, in sexual stimulation in our society. Magazine covers, music lyrics, TV shows, Movies, radio ads, billboards, books, the internet, the things people are wearing, are all soaked, completely saturated, with pornographic filth that our ‘culture’ is saying is ok, even healthy and good.
bengland is absolutely right. You have to first shrink your apetite for these things that are constantly stuffing the gullet of your passions. Once your apetite shrinks it will become easier, but it takes time and dedication to get to that point.
I’ve switched to only country music or Immaculate Heart Radio, and I really try and limit what I watch on TV. I’m trying to rebuild my devotion to St. Joseph, and getting back into my daily rosary.
There are some great links on the front page of Catholic Answers dealing with chastity and purity. I highly recommend them, and will remember you in my rosary.
Please look kindly upon SinfulMan’s desire to turn from evil. It is clear You have written on his heart the implications of his actions. Please grace him with the strength to escape this evil which entraps him. Help him to learn to rely more on prayer, especially at the times of temptation. Help him to rely on you to win, so he relies on himself only insofar as Your Spirit works through him.
Instill in his heart even further the purity which You possess, help to to desire more and more to imitate You and see that this is inhibiting to this cause.
O Holy Spirit,
Please disturb this man’s soul and profoundly come into his life. Take his desire to become pure and help him become so! Help him, because this will be a giant step in his growing in faith. Please work through him, as Your gift of strength is the only thing that can help him!
Saint Michael, the Archangel, defend him in battle. Be his safeguard against the wickedness and the snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell, Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls!
You are human and it’s a difficult habit for many people.
I ask Jesus to help you to faithfully read the so that in temptation you will remind yourself,
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And for instance, Colossians chapter 3: "Since you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above…set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. … put to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry… Put on the new self…let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. "
I ask Jesus to help you avoid triggers and start doing something productive instead of succumbing to temptation, and also that you pray for others who are tempted, and that you’ll find someone to talk and pray with to help you think about what you are doing, and begin to break the habit. [CAF also]
I ask Jesus that if you need to you’ll seek counselling to discover what is underlying this issue for you, what the triggers are and how to avoid them.
I ask Jesus to help you meet yor underlying need for companionship, or to help you have better self-esteem or to overcome depression, or loneliness, or some deep hurt or loss in your life, so that you can better resist temptation and start living a happy, healthy life.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Cor. 10:13)
…and you said you thought you mustn’t love God because you succumbed. When someone feared she didn’t love God, St Pio wrote to her:
**“Have you not sometimes loved the Lord? Do you not love God now? Do you not long to love God forever? Therefore, do not fear! Even conceded that you had committed all the sins of this world, Jesus repeats to you: Many sins are forgiven you because you have loved much!” **(Saint P. Pio)
God grant you healing and peace.
Warm regards, Trishie
It is not easy, and even Paul understood that too. In the Scriptures he teaches strongly(so it seems simple), yet he clearly understands it is not. He is setting us a “high Jump” goal, because the point is we can do it with and because of God.
With God nothing is Impossible, even our salvation. With God it is entirly possible that a “Rich” man could enter the kingdom of heaven through Repentance and with a Love of God… this is a point that Jesus himself makes right after saying it is easier for a Camel to go through the eye of a Needle.
Jesus makes the Beautifications sound so easy, and yet they sometimes seem so difficult to actually live out… The point being, we have to try, and even if we don’t get to the goal, God will understand that we tried(and continued to try).
I can’t add a whole lot to the above. All great words of wisdom. Only that we all share struggles like the ones mentioned and well as other types. Will pray for you SinfulMan (we are all sinners by the way). This is a struggle and fight worth fighting. It’s a day to day fight.
Praying for you and for God to give you strength in times of temptation…
You will be in my prayers.
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen***
I want to thank all of you who prayed for me. I went to the chapel today and I was feeling ashamed. I opened up the Bible and immediately the first page that opened up was Psalm 51 (David’s Psalm of repentance). I felt God was speaking to me. I prayed that Psalm in my own words by applying it to my situation. I surrendered myself into his hands. I opened up the Bible again and it opened to the page where the Pharisees wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery. But I saw that Jesus didn’t condemn her, he said, “Go and sin no more.” I felt him saying the same thing to me. Then the Lord told me to go and do my confession. I went and confessed again and I’m feeling much better now. Keep me in your prayers.
Bless you! And we thank God for His graces in your life! I pray that God will lead you to wholeness and peace in your life.
Praying for you… I am currently struggling with the same thing and I feel really ashamed and like I’m failing to be the man that God wants me to be…pray for me as well