I feel dirty, shameful, and unworthy of God

I’m just going to come right out with it because it’s eating me alive.

I’m nineteen and female struggling with an addiction to pornography and masturbation. I just recently confessed and I feel so horrible that I fell into the same rut again. The temptation is so strong that it happens when I’m in my room alone, during the day, or just sleeping. I dream a lot but not frequently of sexual relations with men and women. The temptation, however, drives me insane because as much as I try to fight it, I end up losing all the time. Because of this problem, I have a perverted mind. I kind of have a phobia of the idea of sex because I see it as something corrupt because of my addiction. I’m scared. I don’t want this to come back at me some day and affect my relationship with my future husband… I’m just scared of karma. I’m not a bad person. I’m really not. I have a special bond with my parents and we are so fiercely loyal to each other. For them to know about this would kill me and them too because they trust me so much and it would hurt them beyond words. Thinking about it actually makes me want to cry. I feel so shameful and embarrassed to pray to Him after repeating the same mistakes again. What do I do? Please help.

***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.

:crossrc:***

tulips110,
I understand how you feel and I will pray for you. I am a guy, and I know that makes things different but I have struggled with pornography basically my entire adult life. You aren’t alone. I began regularly using it when I was around 12 years old and did not stop until I was 27. It has been a year since I have view pornography and I am so thankful that God has delivered me for that and masturbation.

Never forget that God loves you so very much. He will help deliver you from this addiction. Remember St. Peter’s words to our Lord when he was chosen as a disciple, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” St. Augustine lived a sexually immoral life in his young adult years. He wrote, "the frenzy gripped me and I surrendered myself entirely to lust.” Later, he went on to become a doctor of the Church and one of the most important saints! God changes people.

You didn’t become addicted to pornography over night and, just like any addiction, you won’t come out of it over night. Do not despair, your perverted thoughts will pass in time. Pray, pray, pray is all I can say. Devotion to the Blessed Mother has helped me so much. I also recommend listening to this. God will be with you.

JMR

Don’t ever give up. Keep confessing.

Praying that the Lord may grant you many graces and strength to overcome this. Also praying through the intercession of all Saints who struggled in a similar way.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen

Praying hard for you. We are all sinners and God can forgive anything.

´
It’s not a sin to be tempted. It’s not a sin to experience even same-sex attraction, but if we dwell on it, and especially if we act upon it, it becomes sinful.

Keeping active might help. David fell into temptation, because of idleness.

Further, for myself, I fell into all kinds of things. I’d have like a pattern…I’d be on the road, fall off…on…off…on…off. Finally, a major breakthrough was when I started doing things like going to daily mass. Now, one must never be overconfident, but I found that a huge turning point. As long as I tried to get by on weekly mass, I kept falling. Also, I pray the rosary, daily.

It’s good to also pray, in the actual moment of temptation, or get up…walk about, anything to stop that. Try not to allow the thought to even take hold, to dismiss it, immediately.

Further, look at your environment. Are there any triggers for you there? any books, magazines, movies you watch…anything …your friends…?

So, try to even avert your eyes from bad influences. That’s how many of the saints got their start…even Job, in the Bible did that.

I used to watch all kinds of sexually-explicit movies and such. Now, I see that’s not good. When I was in the US, I’d go to, say, USCCB for movie reviews and decide from there, instead.

I look at my life, specifically, and objectively…look, specifically, at times I had fallen…try to see if there would be any way to avoid that in the future.

Try to surround yourself with moral people, as well, who will help pick you up rather than cause you to fall, sin.

Further, are you also lonely? Sometimes, I think people turn more towards masturbation when they feel their emotional needs aren’t being met.

Good luck, and God bless.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.
:angel1:

Praying for you. Keeping going to confession. God loves you. We are all sinners, but God in His infinite mercy, remains with us.

I am among those that also fell into a similar pattern of sin. I have had occasion to need to confess it many many times throughout the course of my life and can completely relate to the feelings of shame and hopelessness that come along with it.

Daily rosary is my lifeline. An active prayer life is my lifeline. Avoiding triggers is my lifeline.

I depend of God’s graces to help me avoid falling back into that pattern of sin. I acknowledge I cannot do it on my own - none of us can.

I will pray for you that you find a lifeline to grab onto. I have absolutely every confidence that you will succeed in overcoming this if you merely persist. No matter how many times you stumble and fall, as long as you get back up and try again - that is what matters. Please keep getting back up. God will never never never give up on you. You shouldn’t give up on you either.

I’ll be adding you to my daily prayers. :slight_smile:

:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:

This can be a powerful weapon in your personal battle. It is approved by the Catholic Church.

angelicwarfareconfraternity.org/

Praying for you!

Hope this helps:

catholic.com/video/women-who-suffer-from-porn-addiction

God Bless!

-Vince

Praying…

I suggest you try the herb vitex (also known as chaste berry.)

This is a prayer in “The Imitation of Christ” which I think will help (say it as many times as you need):

O good Jesus, shine on me with the brightness of Your eternal light and expel all darkness from the mansions of my heart. Restrain my many wandering thoughts and destroy the temptations that assail me.

Use your strength in fighting for me, and suppress those wicked beasts - those seductive sensual desires of mine. Establish peace in me and let fulsome praise of You resound throughout those sacred precincts found in a clear conscience.

Command the winds and tempests to obey. To the sea say “Be still” and to Aquilo, the north wind, “stop gusting! and there will be a great calm.”

Repeat this prayer and say the rosary. God guide, protect and bless you with the graces you need to become pure of heart and mind.

Well your private message inbox is full. Guess I’ll just have to post here. Took me so long to write, but worth it.

I’ve had the same problem for years myself and have talked to a lot of people about it. Eventually with the help of God’s grace I quit. What have you done to stop?

It sounds like you are bottling yourself up with your problem without doing much to prevent it. And I totally understand the whole perverted mind thing and the sexual dreams bothering you. That just comes with being exposed for a long time. Stuff like that will unfortunately be burned into your head for a few months as you try to quit.

You don’t need to talk to your parents about it, although if you think that might help you quit then be my guest. But when I told my mom, she encouraged masturbation while discouraging porn. Not what I was looking for… There are tons of ways you can quit with the help of God’s grace.

For starters, don’t be so down on yourself, just try again. God sees your struggle, he sees that you don’t want to do it. You have to believe he can help and that its not impossible. Then you have to start studying up on your addiction in terms of what triggers you. For me it was boredom/being lonely.

There will also be certain places in your house that will make you think of it. Whenever drug addicts see a place that they used to do drugs, it will set them off. What you need to do is keep yourself busy, and that is key to quitting. That’s why many website suggest taking up exercise or getting out of the house.

I learned from a spiritual book “an idle mind is the devils workshop.” You said you were just sitting in your room when the temptation struck right? It often happens when you aren’t doing anything. And you aren’t supposed to out-think it or reason with it, because that will wear you down eventually. You just have to get off your butt and do something distracting or focus on prayer. I’m serious, even the bible says to flee from the devil.

After that are the basics, frequenting confession, praying the rosary daily, frequenting mass, doing an hour of adoration before the blessed sacrament, etc. And each time you fail, tweak your strategy, do more of one of these things after you go to confession again. Eventually you will find what works best for you.

Finally, go get a book about a saints personal life with God. As I was doing my search for God earlier this year, he brought me the diary of St. Faustina. That book opened my eyes to how wonderful God is, how much he wishes to forgive all of us. His mercy is truly infinite and the greater the sinner, the more grace they are entitled to. This will pose as motivation, and will anchor you to the end goal you are striving for. One of the main reasons anyone falls to temptation is that they don’t have a great enough love of God. This will help you see why you are quitting.

So far, even after I quit I kept frequenting confession because of random lust that attacked me often. Then I finally decided to do a rosary, everyday. Haven’t been attacked since, its been wonderful. Also you should know that prayer after committing a mortal sin is only effective in guiding you back to confession. Jesus can’t hear anyone in mortal sin and it in fact makes him feel rejected/intensely sad toward the individual. It wouldn’t hurt to meditate on him carrying the cross for you, cuz he really gave his all for everyone.

Keep trying and God bless! Message me if you want to talk!

That’s all of us, but i hear a Saint is nothing more than a sinner who keeps trying.:thumbsup:

:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:

:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:

:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:

Holy Michael the Archangel defend us in the day of battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Power of God,
thrust down to hell satan and all the wicked spirits,
who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen

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