Background: I was blessed to have been raised in a wonderful Catholic home; my father died when I was very young, I am the youngest and have 8 brothers and sisters. I was the only child to leave the state and move across country for marriage. I have been married for over 10 years. We have not been blessed with children. After many years I finally realized that my husband smoked often (Not cigarettes). Long, long story short, I was packed and ready to leave unless he would quit. I believed him when he said he would stop.
I had been working for my local parish for years and found the strength and support that I needed.I have recently quit my job to work at home for our growing business. Life was going well.
Last night a family member informed me that my husband has been lying to me and told me to search his truck. This person works for law enfocement and has information. They wouldn’t tell me specifically, but wanted me to know. None of his family wants me to leave; but they knows I will if he will not change. I did search his truck last night and found empty baggies—he denied everything, but come on. I feel like such a fool.
When I first learned of this several years ago, I told my husband that if I ever would have known he did this I would not have married him. I was way too young, can’t do it over again, but am really weary right now. My mom died last year, and am still coping. Love God, Love the Faith, but am just so tired of trying so hard all the time with no support. My husband’s family has no faith base whatsoever, I am always defending my faith, trying to show them…I know I am here for a reason, that has been proven to me, but I have to wonder if this is Satan trying to make me leave or if I should acknowledge that this was never a marriage. (fyi…husband never baptized) I have learned so much in the past several years of just how holy marrige really is, what it is truly called to be, I have prayed for that type of marriage.
I can’t tell you how many times my pastor has told me to pray to St. Monica. Well there is 13 years summed up. Please pray for me.