Whenever I commit a sin, venial or especially mortal, and have not been to confession and then go to Mass I feel such a fraud. I wonder if God despairs of me? I honestly feel guilty about attending. I often think what would people say if they knew ?.I know that God loves me as I am, I always say sorry at the time, but the feeling won’t go away, any suggestions?, thanks in advance to any replies.
hi brother in Christ
Just be strong in your prayer.
Try to go to confession every week.
Who knows you might be bored with your sins one day and decided to stay away from it.
p/s: I understand how you feel because I AM like you.
Isn’t what you describe in a sense pride and a lack of Trust in God? He made us and He knows all our strengths & weaknesses. He is on our side, Jesus prooved it when He died on the cross. And while He was dying on the cross, He implored God’s mercy for those who crucified Him, He forgave the good thief, and He made sure His mother was taken care of and the soldier who pierced His heart was converted. I believe the message is to Trust in God’s Mercy. I think so many of us fall into the trap that we by ourselves attain to a level of being good and right with God and that we have to be perfect. That is impossible. I know that for myself I tend to fall into that trap and that’s when I fall. It’s God’s way of saying…I am not what I think I am and I’m starting to think a little too highly of myself. I have just learned that I can now claim spiritual progress…not spiritual perfection. But this is how we learn about our faults and strive to overcome…I’ve read in the book “My Imitation of Christ”…it’s not the fact that we overcome something right away, but how hard we try and we only fail when we give up. Our faults also helps us to obtain some semblence of humility. And a humble and contrite heart God will not spurn. Remember, Jesus didn’t come for the righteous, they have no need of God. He said that himself. As long as we are walking this earth, we will suffer, we will fall and we will by the Grace of God get back up again.
As long as you are not actually taking Communion after a mortal sin you’re not crossing any line. Keep going to Mass. Just get to confession at 1st opertonity.
I wonder if God despairs of me? <<
Despair is a sin. How can God sin?