Recently I've been praying a lot. For many things. It feels like I'm being called on.
A bit of a background, I'm 17, for as long as I can remember I went to church every Sunday until about a couple months ago. I attended a Catholic school but I never took my religion class seriously, which I greatly regret now. Every year, I always had thoughts about becoming a Priest even though I didn't pay attention in religion class. I remember when I was 8 or 9 I would play with my sister, I pretended to be a Priest and would give my sister pieces of paper to eat as the host ( I can see how this can be funny but remember, i was young and didn't know what else to use as the host.) I would pray every night for everything I can think of and I didn't really feel close to god because I never asked myself how I felt about him, I just prayed, I couldn't fall asleep if I didn't pray. I felt that someone sick would die if I didn't pray for them, it was like second nature. As I grew older I've almost completely stopped praying., . Over the past few years I've started to feel like I'm slowly moving away from God :(. I stopped going to church about a month or two ago because of work and now I feel like I'm killing myself by doing so. I've been praying again and when I do I get an enormous sense of relief. Its an unexplainable feeling, it takes my headaches away, makes me feel safer than ever. Every time I think about my future I can't picture a more perfect way of life than to pray and spread the word. That's what I picture as the perfect life for me, I feel that way because of how I feel when I pray and I'm realizing that now more that ever. Now the reason I'm here is because I have this feeling that its not really happening I feel like my head is telling me im wrong. I still cant picture a more perfect life than priesthood though. I feel like Its the only direction I can really see myself going. Sure, I've though about other paths but none are greater than god. There's a lot more that I'm Feeling I just don't know what to say.
If you have any opinions on what I should do please share them with me.