My name is Joshua. I have posted on this site before that I was considering a vocation, and I need some help now from some fellow Catholics.
My father and I have never been close. My father and mother were never married, and I live with my mother. I visited my father every other weekend and once a day growing up, until I was old enough to drive myself back and forth and etc… Up until about a year ago, we were fine I guess. I say “I guess” because my father and I were never close, he would talk about my mother very negatively in front of me, even when I was little, and I never appreciated that. He would also make me leave Mass as soon as I got the Eucharist because he thought the rest was a “waste”, when I was old enough I just stayed and walked home. Any way, I have told my family off and on since I was about… I don’t know… 13-14ish that I wanted to discern the priesthood. My mother and my grandparents on this side of the family were very supportive, took me to Mass more, (like on the weekdays when/if school was not an issue), and allowed me to talk to several priests about it. My father on the other hand, scoffed me. Recently, he told me Catholicism should be just a phase of my life. And that if I enter the priesthood, it’s only because I want to be a rapist. I’ve also been struggling financially with getting through college, but I’ve been slowly making it, I had to take this semester off to rethink about cost, apply to a closer more affordable college, but not give up a good education in the process
My father has insulted me many times, and while I try to explain to him how much my faith means to me, he just laughs and tells me a son should be obedient to his father. I replied with a son should only be obedient to his Creator, but respectful to his birth parents as the Bible teaches. He started swearing at me at and called my mother some nasty things. I tried to stay calm, but eventually could not handle the situation any more and left and returned home in tears. I text him, (text because I couldn’t deal with talking to him at the moment), that I was upset that he wants to think everything just works out in the end without effort. I also told him my family is not my blood relatives. My family are the ones who support me when I’m down and will be there no matter what. For that reason, I believe the Church to be my true family. But don’t get me wrong, I love and will do anything for my mother and family as well, but I just don’t want to pretend that it is OK for my father to insult my Catholicism and expect me to drop it for him.
Also, he insists that I’ve been lying to him throughout the years over numerous things. Over my mother spending the child support on booze and partying, (if you knew my mom, you’d laugh at that claim), and other such things. Also, he had bought me a car for my 16th birthday, and when I was 18, a friend of mine tried to drive her car off a local bridge and commit suicide. Thankfully, I found out from a friend and drove my car into hers before she could get close enough to the car. She was fine, but the car was totaled. I took her home, and while her car was also wrecked, her parents had money enough to fix it. I went back to my car and told my father I hydroplaned and lost control. His first response was that “You should be lucky I don’t kill you.” My mother’s on the other hand was “Are you OK?” I know the Bible says to respect your mother and father, and I always will. I am thankful for being born, and thankful for what he has done, but I don’t what him to continually insult my faith and actions. He acts like just because I’m 19 I don’t know the world. I admit, I have MUCH to learn about life, but for a kid who has seen his best friend kill herself, stop several people from committing suicide, and lived homeless for a portion as his life, I’d expect a little slack. I’m not bragging about the things I’ve done by any means, but I want him to understand I do know what I’m talking about here and there.
Any way, sorry for the long rant, but any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.