Ok, and as I write this I am paranoid that the whole world knows exactly who I am and everyone at work is reading this and having a good laugh at me. But here goes.....
And I know to most people this is probably a common occurence they have learnt to deal with and are probably rolling their eyes thinking 'get over it' but to me it is a big deal... so here goes ....
And also....... just trying to think of another way to stall before I cough it up. hhhmmm clear throat .... deep breath...... cross fingers hoping that no one will laugh.......
A few months ago, I joing Catholic match hoping to meet someone. Well this guy viewed me and he really caugh my eye, so I a few weeks ago I sent him an emotiongram (sp?) to which he never replied. Ok, I got the hint but was disappointed.
Well yesterday we were on-line at the same time and I contacted him to chat. And he sent me something back saying 'maybe later'. OK, up until yesterday, I could still fool myself into believing that he never logged on to see my first attempt. But when a guy says 'maybe later' I take that to mean 'Not interested'
And now, I feel like a fool. Lord knows, I do not initiate this kind of thing often so when I do, I am really hoping to get a reply. So now, I feel like the dumbest ugliest stupidist woman who has ever walked the face of the earth.
I feel like the teenager in High School 25 years ago that was never asked to dance and always moked for being fat (even though I look back at those pictures and would give anything to be that slim again. Why I got the fat reputation is beyond me)
So..... needless to say, it is not really the guy. After all, how do I even know it really is his picture. It is more the feeling of being unlovable and less than that is resurfacing (Please NO ONE suggest counscelling)
So... in a nut shell, feel free to share how you deal with rejection, pray for me or better yet tell me how good looking I am even though you don't have a CLUE what I look like:D