I feel so selfish.

Sorry, I’m not quite sure where to post this.

I feel so selfish and ashamed. Everything I do, I find it hard not to think of myself, my own comfort, my own reputation, etc.

I was going down this morning for the 40 Days for Life campaign (praying in front of abortion clinics). Nearly the whole way down, I was so worried about my own physical discomfort (it was a pretty far walk), and I just didn’t feel like my heart was in the right place, at all. I mean, I was glad I did it, of course, but I feel like my thoughts are on myself way too much.

It makes me feel really guilty, especially when I think instead of what Christ went through, which is infinitely worse.

I keep being concerned about myself and about what people think of me. It’s hard for me to do something without wanting recognition for it, which I know is bad. I keep being more interested in gratifying my own desires, comfort, etc, which is leading more to laziness.

So how can I try to put more focus on God, and on other people? Any suggestions, and/or prayers would be appreciated.

It is a grace that you recognize your mixed motives and pride. Such faults can be overcome with the Sacraments, prayer, and faith that God will help you remove obstacles in your way, and your will to overcome them. It’s unlikely you will be “cured” of these problems overnight, but with daily prayer and determination, you will make progress little by little.

In another thread someone posted this beautiful meditation, “I Thirst for You” by the Missionaries of Charity Fathers. A few excerpts you might find encouraging as I did:

And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come – always, without fail . . .I come - longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life; and My peace I give to still your soul.

If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life, and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

Don’t you realize that My Father already has a perfect plan to transform your life, beginning from this moment? Trust in Me. Ask Me every day to enter and take charge of your life. – and I will. I promise you before My Father in heaven that I will work miracles in your life. Why would I do this? Because I THIRST FOR YOU. All I ask of you is that you entrust yourself to Me completely. I will do all the rest.

I applaud you for actually going to the clinics to pray. :thumbsup:

All I can manage is to pray at home.

Thanks so much. That meditation was great, too. That’s really what I need to hear.

Also, I was looking at your blog, and like this article. The quote at the end spoke to me, too, and I think has relevance to my situation.

You said:

Tuning out of the world will help us tune into God. Around 500 years ago, the Lord said to St. Teresa of Avila, “Oh how gladly would I speak to many souls! But the world makes so much noise in their hearts that they cannot hear My voice. Would that they might retire a little from the world!”

I think that’s what I want to learn how to do.

Please pray for me, if you would.

Thanks. I really think I felt led to do so. Usually, if I would’ve known the distance we had to go, or knew much else, I sadly probably wouldn’t have. That’s part of what makes me feel so selfish.

But when they discussed it on Wednesday, I volunteered without question. I asked myself yesterday what I was getting myself into, but there were only two of us going, so I went through with it.

It was great, though. There were about 4-5 people finishing up the Divine Mercy Chaplet when we got down there, and then the two of us who went prayed the Rosary and Chaplet afterwards.

It was hard coming back, though. I think it was about a mile or a mile and a half each way, which I’m not used to doing, and I was rather exhausted after I got back. As we were coming back, I had to pray to keep my mind off of my exhaustion.

I’m definitely glad I did it, though.

It’s kind of strange, because I got involved with the Knights of Columbus because someone in my fraternity, who is a member of the Knights of Columbus, was complaining about this 40 Days for Life campaign, as he is pro-choice. :frowning:

I’m glad you were at least able to pray at home. :smiley:

According to www.40daysforlife.com, 441 lives were saved so far. That’s part of what inspired me to do this, because it’s actually having an effect.

No Catholic can be pro-abortion. How shocking.

And again kudos to you—I couldn’t walk a mile and a half on my best day!

Yes, I know just what you feel, since I’m very much the same way myself except I pray at home, too.:rolleyes: The fact that you went to the clinic to pray shows that you are more like the brother, in the parable that Jesus tells, that at first said he wouldn’t do as he was asked but went and did it anyway than the brother that said that he would do as he was asked but didn’t ever do it. Keep it up! and please pray for me.

Thanks; I appreciate it. And I’ll definitely pray for you, and would appreciate it if you do the same for me. :smiley: :gopray:


God promises if we seek Him we will find Him (Matthew 7:7). With perseverance in daily prayer, you will become more “tuned in” to how God speaks through His Church, His Word, through other people and everyday events.

Another blog you might like on this topic (also has that quote about St. Teresa):
Can you hear Me now?

I will certainly say prayers for you. :signofcross:

Changing you from selish to saint requires the grace of God. It doesn’t depend upon willpower but an act of God’s power. If you continue to pray for spiritual growth and receive the sacraments on a regular basis, the grace and power of God will change you into His likeness perhaps even without you being aware of the positive changes happening gradually over time. It’ll take a lifetime of union with Christ to change that heart of stone to one of flesh.

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