I finally told him I can't help him!


#1

Hello all,

Just needed to come here a pour out my heart. My son who I had ask to leave back in May has now been thrown out of the place he was living at. He was living with his son’s mother they aren’t a couple and haven’t been , but he is really good with the baby so I guess that is why she kept him around. Anyhow I spent the better part of the year telling him that he needs to have a steady job so that he can get his own place and what does he do he tells me he is fine. He doesn’t really call or come around only if he needs something and for the most part his needs are minimal so I didn’t have a problem, however he calls me to tell me he has nowhere to live and I told him to call his father and grandfather cause they are the only bridges he hasn’t burned, you see my family and I are at odds with each other because he and another member robbed my sister and her husband. I tried to help him clear this up and am willing to forgive him for everything he just needs to learn the hard way. Can you all please keep him in your prays, something tells me he will be fine, but not before he goes to hell.

Thanks for listening, I knew this day was coming and by God’s grace I am doing the right thing, but it still hurts.

Kathleen


#2

I’m walking down that road also. I’ve bought every book on prodigal children and have found every site with anything encouraging to say about prodigals.

Keep praying like the life of your child depended on it, because it does. I’ll pray for you too for wisdom and confidence as you interact with your child.


#3

I will remember your family in my daily Mass intentions please remember mine as well.


#4

Will keep you in my prayers as well.

Am wondering if there is anything along the lines of the prodigal parent. I think I have a couple of the most self-serving, self indulgent, self absorbed pairs out there and just concluded a miserable visit w/ them. Am at a loss as to how to deal with them in the future. Cutting ties seems vindictive, not to mention slightly egotistical and improperly judgmental. But, dropping back, if not completely out, feels like a tolerable dose of self-preservation. If the definition of “crazy” is to keep doing the same things over and over again while expecting a different outcome, then does opting to drop out of this frustrating, exhausting dance make one sane or selfish?!


#5

Island Oak, I don’t know that feeling as my parents are gone, however I don’t think it is much different parent child or chkd parent pain is the worst. I thought about dropping out of sight with my siblings because of feelings of not fitting in and I had the same exact notions going through my mind, vindictive, judgmental, snobish and so on. I still haven’t decided on what I need to do because I feel Jesus calling and I am thinking He wants me to stay around and it is me fighting or something like that. I do have a sense of peace where my son is concerned, but I am still so sad for him because he made his life a mess. I am grateful for all of you for your prayers and I will keep you in mind as well.

God Bless
Kathleen


#6

Kathleen -

It’s called tough love. You make rules, stick to them, and pray hard.

With my prayers - Joe.


#7

BOBKAT -
I share with you my own feelings on being strong towards a prodigal child, and you are in my prayers.

My own son (16-years-old) was told to leave our home this past December after came home drunk one Saturday night, then got high and never came home after I told him to. This was not the first time he did this - had to meet him in ER because he was found by the police in October with an alcohol level of .25 during school hours. We did everything we could to try and make him understand that he’s too young to be dealing with these substances, and doesn’t have the right maturity or mind to handle such a responsibility. He has fought my husband and I every step of the way, and tho he has told us time and time again that he wouldn’t do it, he always manages to find a way. I finally had enough, I realized my family has had enough (I’m bipolar and my husband’s a recovering alcoholic) - and so when he didn’t come home, I calmly packed his bags and called him to let him know that he no longer lives in our house.

He’s been living with friends from one side of the county to another. When we presented him with a list of rules that he must adhere to in order to have him come back and live with us, it was met with resistance, he wanted to make unreasonable changes, and did not show us the proper respect in speaking with us…he was scheduled (his bio-father’s idea) to come back home on Monday - we met with him on Saturday, and after seeing that his behavior was not repentant or changed in any significant way, I told him that I could see that he was not ready to come back, and I was not ready to have in back in this state (he still continues to use drugs and drink).

I vowed when I was a single mother that I would not let anything get in the way of being with my children, but when your own flesh and blood exhibits behaviors that can not only send you to the edge, but can be potentially dangerous to his younger siblings in his intoxicated state, I had to decide for keeping my family in tact.

I’ve been praying to God to help him see. His grandparents, aunts and uncles have also been praying for him, along with my pastor. Calling on God has been the greatest source of strength for me and my family for me, and I’ve asked Our Blessed Mother, as a mother herself, to pray for me and my family. It’s been hard, but I know without God’s grace, I would probably be sitting in a mental ward as we speak.

For all mother, fathers, brothers, sisters, and children of prodigal relatives, may God continue to grant you mercy and peace during these trying times.

(Thanks for listening…peace.)


#8

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