I recently had an argument with my wife about unsolicited advise, she tends to give this to me and it drives me crazy.
I’m not one to give advise unsolicited because I believe that when people give unsolicited advise it basically comes across for me as one-upmanship, or assertion of dominance, or criticism, or distrust, or failure to consider my own unique goals, basically I don’t know what I’m doing or have control in my life. I’d really like a choice to accept advise or not.
I had asked her if you want to give me advise on a certain event, topic etc, then she should ask if she can give it and not just give it. Of course if it has to do with life or limb or to save me from certain doom, ok, I can understand that.
Her position on the matter of advise is that it doesn’t matter what is it about and it is her right because she cares for me and loves me and she is my wife, and doesn’t believe she needs to ask.
We are at an impasse and has driven a wedge between us and I don’t know how to move forward, it is stagnating us. We’ve known each other for a little over 20 years and married for 11. I’d like your solicited advise on this. Thanks!