Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I hope I can put this in proper words and express myself as I need to. I recently posted on here about my time as a Postulant in a Religious Order in Spain which is going down the Liberal route and is sending all their students (for Priestly studies) to one of the most liberal faculties in the country- a fact of which I was unaware of when I entered, I entered due to a love and great enthusiasm for the charisma of the Order.
I tried for 5 months to change my life and prepare to dedicate it to Our Lord as a Holy Religious but I was shocked to find and unable to adjust to the disgusting (word I wish to use) lack of respect and understanding of the Sacraments and the Liturgy, I was subjected to Masses where the Priest didn’t use the Missal, and said whatever he thought felt moved to- in some cases used no vestments (and thought nothing of it) and although I didn’t attend any I know they have Masses sitting around a table, on the floor and do ridiculous and sacrilegious things- they were quite happy to tell everyone else what was wrong with the Church, I was the only one in the community against the idea of women Priests etc. and was pretty much “branded” for it and made to feel uncomfortable in a supposedly Catholic environment.
I was shocked to hear the stuff coming out of the mouths of my “brothers” and fellow students, especially in the faculty where I was known as a “Lefebvrist” purely because I believed and wanted to remain a faithful Catholic. I was in total crisis and torment for alot of that time, I tried to reconcile myself to their ways but was unable to do it and then when I eventually got up the courage to leave (with all the implications and trouble it would cause) I asked to speak to the master of Postulants and confided in him, he was so cruel and unkind to me that I had no second thoughts about leaving and I left on my own accord the very same day. I don’t want to give the wrong impression, I did certainly learn during this time and I discovered how much I wish to be faithful to the Church and her teachings, I got to know myself better, my weakness and problems etc. however I have been left after my experience with a great Hatred for Liberalism, I was so openly exposed to it and it went against all I believed and held dear- I just hate it, I do not hate any individual person (in case anyone thinks that) and I am not full of anger at anyone or anything like that but I really now understand the danger of liberalism and how it is infesting our Holy Church, all these people who were in my classes are the future of the Church and the Priesthood and they are rotten to the core with liberalism.
I am now working in a parish in my own country and am in contact with the Vocations Director of my local Diocese who had done research into the Faculty where I was sent to study and told me I did the right thing, he said it is awful and made me feel a lot better when I met with him recently. I am now in the process in time of entering a more Traditional and Conservative Order, I have been strengthened by my experience and don’t care if anyone is going to be negative or tell me I did the wrong thing but I love to share and speak with fellow Catholics on this site and feel a sense of comfort in it. I just want people to know the dangers of Liberalism and to encourage people to stay away from it and not get involved in anything which diverts from Our Holy Church…I am not talking about Medjugorje, I am talking about the real problems- we really need to pray for the Conversion of sinners and pray for more Holy and devout Priests.
I am coming to terms with what happened to me but it really bothers me and I am struggling. Before I went there I had a very “innocent” and perhaps “ignorant” view that I was a Catholic belonging to a totally universal Church where everyone believed and thought the same thing (probably due to my traditional formation) but I am ashamed that some of these people would claim to be Roman Catholics. Pope Francis is wonderful and he is not the Liberal so many people think he is!!!