I Hate My Job But I Can't Afford To Quit


Well, to make a long story short I work for a federal healthcare agency where I am also one of the patients. In this particular clinic I do not like how the patients are treated. I have tried, but my direct coworkers are just burned out on their jobs. I tranferred down here from the main hospital a year ago and I am starting to feel that way. Basically people that work here have just become nasty to each other on a daily basis. They also do not feel they need to follow the policies and procedures that the rest of the departments do and this is very prevalent in my department. Around New Year’s I realized that I was guilty of the sin of omission by not making a stand after a watched a possibly suicidal patient leave our facility. I reported everything to my supervisor up at the main hospital and since then there has been more conflict for me but I feel as if I am doing the right things and I am told by my boss that I am doing the right things and I believe him. In the meantime I am trying to be nice to everyone and do the next right thing. I just feel stressed out and my need to exercise has greatly increased due to that stress. The other day when I attended mass on Ash Wednesday instead of exercising I ended up in severe pain from all the tension I was carrying. This happens as I have had some debilitating injuries and exercise has been my only real relief. That and prayer. So I am already praying for my coworkers, praying for me, initiated a plan to go back to school, and now I am coming to the rest of you for support. Thank you.


Joan, what strikes me in reading this is just how different your writing style is here in comparison to what you normally write. Usually you are a very clear thinker and tend to express yourself in ways that are very direct and in a manner that is very easy going. This post is so full of pain and you still haven't completely gotten your thoughts out. This obviously is a terrible situation for you to be in. Are you sorry that you transferred? Was the main hospital better? Is there an opportunity for you to go back there?


I thank you for noticing - it is a situation that has gotten progressively worse over the past year. Now that things in my personal life have settled down it seems more prominent. The main hospital is 150 miles away which would mean seperation from my husband all week. At this point I have put applications in for school - to go back and get my Physician Assistant as I feel a) that I could bring about change and b) there need to be more Catholic pro-family/women providers. This will leave me seperated from him for two years as it is minus long weekends but we will persevere. He fully supports it as he knows that it will a) make me happier and b) give me more purpose. If I get in I will start in the Winter so I know this is temporary it is just difficult. Thank you for being there.


I am sorry that you are suffering. A conflicted work environment can really bring a lot of stress into your lives and take a toll.
I agree that the health care world needs some pro-God/pro-woman/pro-life providers! How wonderful that you feel called to that. May your sufferings now help lead you to your goal of service in Christ. I will keep you in my prayers.


First I have to totally apologize - I feel stupid. Right after my rant I had a homeless patient walk in and talk to me and he had moved down here and he had just found a job and a place to live in the same week. He was ecstatic. I realized that during part of that a simple smile helped that man keep going. That is how God's grace works through people. It worked through me every day with a smile and a word or encouragement. It worked through him when he shared his good news with me. So basically I need to quit whining and suck it up for a bit longer. God bless everyone.


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